The Captain... Again?
Okay, okay, I promise not to make any more posts regarding Captain Smackdown, producer extraordinare. The thing is, I actually have nothing against the guy. He sent me an e-mail saying he'd met Prince, I asked for some stories, then he kind of disappeared (until he did a "goggle" search and found my blog, that is). I don't think I said anything too terrible about the guy, but last night I got an e-mail from a friend of his which attempted to take me to task. (Please note my use of the word "attempted," dear readers.) Why did he choose to go off on me? I have no idea, man. Maybe he wants some attention.
Well, I aim to please. Below, you will find his e-mail to me, in its entirety. My comments are in italics.
Date: Mon, 15 Aug 2005 15:31:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: "steve g" bklynginsburg@yahoo.com
Subject: Prince, The Captain and your stupidity
To: goodnight_tonight@yahoo.com
Dear Far too Klutzy,
I could tell I was in for a thrashing of epic proportions when his opening insult to me was "far too klutzy." Damn, that stings. And what was he basing my alledged "klutziness" on, anyway? The way I type? I could tell right away this guy was a complete idiot.
I am sorry that your closet door is stuck.
Aw, that's okay. I called my apartment's maintainence people yesterday and they said they'd send someone out to fix it this week. How did you know my closet door was stuck, anyway? Are you peeking in my windows, you fucking pervert?
Be careful not to disrespect that which you do not know.
Sounds like someone spends too much time reading fortune cookies. Whatever you say, Confucious.
The Captain is an old Associate of mine from First Avenue...
WOW, you actually KNOW the Captain?? For fuck's sake, somebody alert the media!!
Since you're so tight with "the Captain," tell me... how is Tennille doing?
...and has you by the balls you little bitch.
Oh, I see... the Captain has me "by the balls" and I'M the one whose closet door is stuck? I think you're a bit confused there, champ.
I have worked with both Prince and Captain Smackdown. Frankly, you're neither.
Thank God.
That's true, I'm neither Prince or Captain Smackdown. I must congratulate you on your keen grasp of the obvious. In other stunning news, I'm also not Shania Twain or the Pope.
I realize you may be somewhat bored in you parents basement.
Apparently not as bored as you are, seeing as how you have to send insulting e-mail to defend some guy that nobody's ever heard of. But then again, I guess you can only masturbate to animal porn so many times in a given day.
Remain aware that any unauthorized reuse of email is a Federal offence.
OOOps Too Late
Thanks for the warning, but just the same I think I'll "use" your e-mail in any way I see fit. Just like I used your mother's ass as a banging tool when I had her bent over my couch last night. So yeah, I think I'll use your e-mail to goof on how stupid you are--then, I think I'll print it out and let my cats shit on it.
So, now you're going to sic the Feds on me? Ooooooooh!!!
Bring it on, dick monkey.
There's a lot of fucking stupid people in this world.
Well, I aim to please. Below, you will find his e-mail to me, in its entirety. My comments are in italics.
Date: Mon, 15 Aug 2005 15:31:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: "steve g" bklynginsburg@yahoo.com
Subject: Prince, The Captain and your stupidity
To: goodnight_tonight@yahoo.com
Dear Far too Klutzy,
I could tell I was in for a thrashing of epic proportions when his opening insult to me was "far too klutzy." Damn, that stings. And what was he basing my alledged "klutziness" on, anyway? The way I type? I could tell right away this guy was a complete idiot.
I am sorry that your closet door is stuck.
Aw, that's okay. I called my apartment's maintainence people yesterday and they said they'd send someone out to fix it this week. How did you know my closet door was stuck, anyway? Are you peeking in my windows, you fucking pervert?
Be careful not to disrespect that which you do not know.
Sounds like someone spends too much time reading fortune cookies. Whatever you say, Confucious.
The Captain is an old Associate of mine from First Avenue...
WOW, you actually KNOW the Captain?? For fuck's sake, somebody alert the media!!
Since you're so tight with "the Captain," tell me... how is Tennille doing?
...and has you by the balls you little bitch.
Oh, I see... the Captain has me "by the balls" and I'M the one whose closet door is stuck? I think you're a bit confused there, champ.
I have worked with both Prince and Captain Smackdown. Frankly, you're neither.
Thank God.
That's true, I'm neither Prince or Captain Smackdown. I must congratulate you on your keen grasp of the obvious. In other stunning news, I'm also not Shania Twain or the Pope.
I realize you may be somewhat bored in you parents basement.
Apparently not as bored as you are, seeing as how you have to send insulting e-mail to defend some guy that nobody's ever heard of. But then again, I guess you can only masturbate to animal porn so many times in a given day.
Remain aware that any unauthorized reuse of email is a Federal offence.
OOOps Too Late
Thanks for the warning, but just the same I think I'll "use" your e-mail in any way I see fit. Just like I used your mother's ass as a banging tool when I had her bent over my couch last night. So yeah, I think I'll use your e-mail to goof on how stupid you are--then, I think I'll print it out and let my cats shit on it.
So, now you're going to sic the Feds on me? Ooooooooh!!!
Bring it on, dick monkey.
There's a lot of fucking stupid people in this world.
2 Comments:
muhaha, and I thought the captain was a great entertainer, but reading the pseudointellectual shit of his buttfriend is even funnier
But still, I think that the idea of the animal porn is much more restricted, considerating the fact that they are just interested in ants, because it's the only ass they can doubleteam, desperately how much they tried the other holes were all too large...
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