My First Marriage Proposal

Do you hear the wedding bells? Can you envision the hot bridesmaids? Can you imagine the open bar at the reception? Of course you can! Who the fuck would get married unless they were blind drunk?

Here's part of an IM conversation I had last night;

SLINKEE x star [8.22 PM] hey!
JeremyTLoner [8:23 PM]: Hey!
SLiNKEE x star [8:23 PM]: i love your column at deansplanet! you're soo awesome and funny :)
JeremyTLoner [8:25 PM]: You're too kind.
SLiNKEE x star [8:25 PM]: why don't you do the classic woman of the month anymore?
JeremyTLoner [8:25 PM]: Ahhh, you don't read my blog.
SLiNKEE x star [8:26 PM]: yes i do!
SLiNKEE x star [8:26 PM]: why?
JeremyTLoner [8:26 PM]: I talked all about it on there.
SLiNKEE x star [8:26 PM]: aww i must've missed it
SLiNKEE x star [8:28 PM]: will you marry me?
JeremyTLoner [8:28 PM]: No.
SLiNKEE x star [8:28 PM]: you just broke my heart
JeremyTLoner [8:28 PM]: You'll get over it.
SLiNKEE x star [8:29 PM]: aww maybe not
JeremyTLoner [8:29 PM]: Let me guess... you're 15?16?
SLiNKEE x star [8:29 PM]: no! 17 actually
SLiNKEE x star [8:29 PM]: and very mature by the way
JeremyTLoner [8:29 PM]: Wow, damn near legal! This is a first!
SLiNKEE x star [8:30 PM]: yes! see i told you
SLiNKEE x star [8:30 PM]: i'm almost legal..very close

So there you have it--my marriage proposal. Now, I know what you all were thinking... only a 15 year old chick would hit on me in an IM, right? WRONG! In another year, I could do anything I wanted with this chick, and not even get hassled by "the man." In the meantime, though, posting this IM exchange might well leave her vulnerable to being hit on by horny guys all over the USA, some of them lacking the moral fibre of a decent man like myself...

Oh well, she said she'd love it if I wrote about her. Enjoy being famous, honey. You're about to find out first hand how many sick, perverted fucks populate this grand rhealm known as the Internet.

Nahhh.... I'm sure ALL of my readers are decent, caring human beings. Right? Right...???