The Emmy "Fuck" List

Fuck Ellen Degeneres. The only thing that's "funny" about this hideously untalented waste of oxygen is her ugly, bug-eyed face. No wait, I take that back--her face is much more annoying than it is funny. I'd slather up my dick in honey and angry fire ants before I'd watch her piece of shit talk show.

Fuck Desperate Housewives. Words cannot possibly convey how fucking sick I am of hearing about this show. I wish people would fucking stop talking about it already. Hey, media, I don't watch the show. And guess what? I'm never going to, so stop shoving it down my fucking throat.

Fuck Will & Grace. I am really, really tired of this whole "gay chic" culture that's become all the rage these past few years. I have nothing against gays, but some of them are so damn annoying I wish they'd just stay in the closet. Here's a newsflash--the fact that you're gay doesn't necessarily make you funny, hip and clever. There ain't gonna be any "queer eye" for THIS straight guy, motherfuckers.

Fuck Everybody Loves Raymond. Gee, this was supposedly "the most popular comedy on TV," yet I don't know one fucking person who watched it. At least people might shut the fuck up about it now that it's off the air. Suck my cock, Ray Romano. I hate you.

Fuck the Emmys.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.