I'm Watching Football For Some Reason

I'm not sure why. I don't even like football. I don't actively dislike it, I just don't really care one way or another. I hear guys at work all the time, babbling on about their fantasy football leagues and all that shit. Maybe I don't get into football because I'm a horrible athlete. It's true. My dad signed me up for a softball league when I was a kid and I sucked badly. They banished me to behind the plate as a catcher, which is where they always put the kids who suck. In baseball, they stick your ass out in right field--but in softball, they make you the catcher. And yes, I managed to fuck it up on a constant basis.

I might have been better at football, especially since I'm built like a line backer. (And that's me being kind about my physique.) But when I see a guy running with a football in his hands, for some odd reason I have no desire to tackle him. I also have no desire to give him an affectionate pat on his ass if he makes a good play. Why is that considered "acceptable" when you're playing a game? I mean, if I got a raise at work, I wouldn't expect my male friends to slap my ass in a celebratory manner. If they did, I think I'd need to find new friends.

I don't know... I guess I'm just not "manly."