Some Reader Mail...

I've been getting really behind in my e-mail the past two weeks, telling myself I haven't really had time to answer it. But then I got to thinking... who the hell am I not to write back to people??? God forbid that a loser like me ever get to thinking that he's "too important" for such things. So I scanned through my inbox this morning and decided to catch up--and since I have nothing better to do for the next hour or so, I guess I'll post some e-mail on the blog here. It's either that, or surf for some porn.

From: "Melissa" nodoubtgirl@comcast.net
To: goodnight_tonight@yahoo.com
Subject: E.G. Daily

Hi,

I recently read your article and interview with E.G. Daily and I thought it was great!! She is one AMAZING and TALENTED girl!!! I have a site dedicated to her at the link below if you want to check it out. Again, great article!!
Melissa

http://www.geocities.com/egdailyrocks/hanginwithEGDaily.html

Okay, so I checked out the link. The site is nothing TOO spectacular, but I will say that it's a hell of a lot better than I could do. I know diddly shit about HTML and all that--I'm a total retard. If Dean didn't make my layouts for me, I'd be fucked. So, if anybody out there was harboring the theory that I'm a computer geek or some shit, you were dead wrong. I'm just your garden variety drunken, lonely geek.

I am envious of this chick, though--she's got plenty of pics with her and E.G. just hanging out. That would never happen to me... I'd probably end up creeping her out, then her handlers would take me away. I'm such a charming bastard.

From: "Justin Williams" a31sierra@msn.com
To: goodnight_tonight@yahoo.com
Subject: Hey

I know this is a little belated, but I just wanted to say welcome back to deans planet...so welcome back. Ive really been enjoying your interviews as of late and your blog is pretty entertaining. So thanks for the free entertainment.

Justin Williams

Justin Williams... huh, I knew I recognized that name. This is the guy I promised to send some shit to after I got settled into a new place. I'll bet he thinks I drank a few bottles of vodka and forgot all about his ass. Well, let me set you straight... he's right. Now, I have to find his address and figure out what I'm gonna send him. Something tells me that he's not going to be satisfied with an OFFICIAL Jeremy the Loner autograph. Although it would be funny to see the look on his face if I actually did send him that. It would be like "What the fuck...??? I'm gonna kill that cheap, drunken asshole."

Don't worry, Justin... I may be a dick, but I'm not THAT big of a dick. I'll figure something out and send it along in the mail--unless the vodka gets to me first.

Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2005 09:31:37 -0500
From: "natb"
Subject: You're so right
To: goodnight_tonight@yahoo.com

Everything you said about Trump is so true. Why anyone would watch his stupid retarded kindergarten show is beyond me. Another of the many celebrity idiots is Martha Stewart. Only in this country can someone become a talentless know nothing famous celebrity. Also, did you ever think that a criminal could become an even bigger star? ONLY IN AMERICA!!

Nathan Banks (email: natb3@lycos.com)

I agree with you for the most part, Nathan, but not when it comes to Martha Stewart.
That's not to say I have any love for the woman, but I have to admit... she somewhat... ahem... turns me on. Look, I know it's pretty sick to imply that I'd bang a woman who's in her 60's, but I am a lonely, lonely man. Besides, she could cook great food for you, keep your clothes smelling April fresh, then tie you to the bed and beat the living shit out of you. And you just know she would, too... she'd be sitting there all prim and proper in the kitchen making brownies and shit, but later on she'd be a maniac in bed, barking orders and yelling "Aw, for fuck's sake, I KNOW you can do it better than that, needle dick!"

That's what I need in my life--a woman who'll kick my ass up and down and whip me into shape. Or, at the very least, bake me some brownies.