I Fucking Hate Mornings

Getting up at 6:30am blows. I don't care what anybody says, when you have to get up earlier than the sun does, something is wrong. That's why I don't understand those misguided souls who call themselves "morning people." How stupid. If you're a morning person, you can go right ahead and blow me. Go on, do it. Maybe it will help me wake up.

I knew it was going to be a bad day when my toothpaste got on my nerves. That's right, I said toothpaste. I was brushing my teeth a little while ago, staring at my sullen, stubbly image in the mirror when I noticed that my tube of Colgate boasted that it was an Exciting Flavor! Ooooh yes, many is the time that my toothpaste has "excited" me. Yessir, that new toothpaste flavor will be the highlight of my day.

Goddammit, where's my fucking Pop Tarts???