Coming Clean

What a week.

I know I've been slacking here on the Planet, not only with this blog, but also with my column--which hasn't had a new addition in a month. Hell, Dean sent me a DVD to review the other day, and I haven't even gotten around to taking it out of the shipping envelope. That's the kind of week it's been. In addition to Dean's Planet, I also work two jobs and I... well, I wasn't going to say anything about this, but since I tell you guys everything anyway...

I'm in a play right now. That's right, a play. And not just any kind of a play, either--I'm doing a fucking musical. Now, now, I know what some of you must be thinking. I mean, considering some of the shit I write, this DOES seem a bit "against type" for a guy like me, especially since;

1) I'm heterosexual.
2) I frequently talk about how irritating I find "theatre people."
3) Usually, getting me to "dance" in any way, shape or form requires amounts of alcohol that would put an average person into a coma.

I honestly don't know why the hell I decided to do this, although I think part of it must be an ego thing. You see, once upon a time (before I became such an angry prick), I used to really love performing on stage. And I was good at it, too... not GREAT, mind you, but good enough. I justified it at the time by talking about how doing theatre was an excellent way to meet girls; and believe me, it was! Hell, for me it was like a gold mine. Theatre girls tend to be flaky, insecure and they're basically misfits. (Just like me.) Plus, most of the dudes running around doing theatre are gay! Don't you see what I'm getting at?? A guy like me could really clean up in a situation like that.

But that was a long, long time ago. I'm not 19 anymore, and I haven't been in a play since, oh, 1994. I can't use the "I'm just here for the chicks" excuse, either--there are maybe two women that are worth dating in the cast, but one is FAR TOO YOUNG for me and the other is so religious that I half expect to burst into flames every time I touch her. Seriously, I must seem like Satan himself compared to this girl. That's why I can't believe that I decided to take on a featured role in a musical, despite having two jobs and grave doubts as to whether or not I can still pull this off. I mean, is this going to work, or am I going to look fucking ridiculous? I really don't know, but I guess I'll find out... in two weeks, to be exact. Let the countdown begin...

Oh, and on an unrelated note, I may yet get that cool interview I was talking about a couple of weeks ago. I'll let you guys know when I get something more definite.