Mail. Thoughts. Whatever.

While I have a few minutes before I go to one of the jobs that I despise so much, I figured I'd update this lonely, lonely blog. I feel bad for this blog, because lately it's been even more neglected than me. Or maybe not. I guess that's arguable. Hell, even my readers have been neglecting me, just because I haven't been writing any new columns for a few weeks. Pricks. But since I have so many columns on this site, e-mail still comes in about old columns;

Date: Sat, 11 Mar 2006 16:15:45 -0800 (PST)
From: "hi ytui"
Subject: brooke shields-pretty baby
To: goodnight_tonight@yahoo.com

hi there, if not mistaken brooke was much more than only topless in pretty baby, there was 3 mins deleted but i think the dvd is complete, but yeah it seems sick that they ever made the flick and seems even sicker that it still is available.. lol.. thanks,


At first, I read this e-mail and went, "Huh?" But then I remembered how I wrote a Classic Broad column about Brooke some time ago, in which I talked about her appearing topless in the movie Pretty Baby when she was only 12 years old. I can't say I've ever seen the movie (although it would have been thrilling for me when I, myself, was 12), because there are already plenty of negative adjectives that one could use to describe me. No need to throw "pedophile" into the mix, is there?

Personally, I think this guy has a copy of the movie and feels bad about it. Hey man, I sure as hell don't feel bad when I see Thora Birch's underage topless scene in American Beauty. I mean, I know it's supposed to be an "artistic" scene and all that shit, but when I watch it all I can think is, "Holy fuck, look at those jugs!!!"

I feel no shame. None whatsoever.

Date: Mon, 20 Mar 2006 14:33:48 -0800 (PST)
From: "Pawel Styrna" pawpolusa@yahoo.com
Subject: Great article on Trump !
To: goodnight_tonight@yahoo.com

Hi,

I just read your article about Donald Trump and must say that I agree almost everything you write ! I think Trump is an cocky, arrogant windbag who thinks he's some sort of god and I hate him for that. It's not about his money. Trump represents everything that's wrong with the neveau riche of the late 20th and early 21st century. Even the rich and powerful should restrain themselves and show some humility ... in fact, they should show even more than the common man.

Respectfully,

Pawel Styrna (Chicago, IL)


I wish Trump would just keel over and fucking die. No offense, I'm just tired of hearing about him. The press made a big deal about his new baby... well, they should have made a big deal about how that piece of ass wife of his wouldn't even touch that dipshit if he didn't have more money than God. And then when Martha Stewart's Apprentice show was canceled recently, he was a giant dick about that, talking about she should "take responsibility" for the failure.
Yeah, well, who's going to "take responsibility" for that bird's nest on top of your nappy head, Trump? Whoever lets you out the door every day with your hair looking like Fabio's armpit should be "fired," you fucking pompous dildo. I'd rather look at Martha Stewart (who is dangerously close to being a piece of ass, despite being over 60) any old day of the fucking week before I'd watch your dumb show, you asshole.

Ahem.

Aw shit... I was going to write more, but it looks like I've gotta go to work.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck...