Insomnia and Howardshrine: The Book

Yet another sleepless night here in Loner Land.

Yeah, yeah, you're all probably sick about hearing about my lack of sleep (along with the rest of my bullshit). Man, I wish Karen were here right now; on more than one occasion, I've fallen asleep with my head in her lap as she ran her fingers through my hair. It's rare for me to be comfortable enough with someone to fall asleep on them, but God, I love that woman's lap... and she always smells so good. It's too bad for me, though, because she's out of state right now, so I can't sleep. Maybe I need a new bed. Or maybe I just need someone else besides me in it. Ahhh, but that goes without saying, doesn't it?


I was thinking last night about how I should paint a mural on my bedroom ceiling, or maybe attach a flat screen TV up there--and that wouldn't be a bad idea, seeing as how I spend so many hours every night just staring at it. If this shit keeps up, I swear to God I'm going to down a bottle of whiskey and wash it down with some Nyquil. I'll have no trouble getting to sleep then. Of course, waking up may prove to be a bit tricky. At this point, though, I'm so fucking frazzled that I really don't care if I wake up or not, just so long as someone takes care of my cat Monte for me. Good-bye, cruel world... and I'll see you soon, Satan. I'm sure you have a place of honor reserved for me down there, right next to the one you have set up for Anna Nicole Smith. Get it? For me, hell would be an eternity spent listening to that dumb broad prattle on and on and on and...

Ahem.


Just the other day, I received an advance copy of Howardshrine: The Book in my mailbox, written by none other than DP's own Doc Sante. He's been working on this thing forever, and I would describe the final product as the fruition of one man's magnificent obsession with his idol, one Howard Stern. I wasn't really sure what to expect when I took a look at it. I knew that a good part of the book consisted of Stern-related interviews that can be found right here on Dean's Planet, but the book is far more than recycled interviews--at just under 300 pages, it's literally packed with hundreds of photos, Stern guest autographs, personal momentos and naked women. You could definitely waste a few hours just leafing through the thing, whether you dig Howard or not. The whole package looks great, and I can tell that a lot of care went into the countless layouts found within. Nice job, Doc, I was impressed.

Oh, and I'm in the book, too... well, a little, anyway. My DP interview with GoodFella Henry Hill can be found on page 54. I also wrote the foreword, which is an assignment I took on only after Dean turned it down. (He claimed he had no idea of what to write for such a thing.) I wasn't really sure what to write either, as I am, at best, a casual Stern fan. But I took a whack at it one night while drinking beer last summer, and I'm pleased to say that Doc deemed it worthy of his opus. I'm not sure I did such a great job, but I'll admit that I was kind of jazzed to see some of my stuff in print. You Stern fans should definitely check it out. For more info, you can visit Doc's site at www.howardshrine.net. There's a link there where you can download preview pages of the book and all kinds of good shit. In fact, you can go directly there if you want;

http://www.lulu.com/content/268650

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go kill myself. Think I'm kidding? Yeah, well, we'll see, won't we? See you on the other side, fuckos.