Dissed By Master Shake!

Okay, now the truth can be told.


For many months now, I've been trying to get an interview with the goofy-looking individual you see to your right. His name is Dana Snyder, but all of you potheads might know him better by his voice, which just happens to be the voice behind the Master Shake character from my favorite TV show; Aqua Teen Hunger Force. (Funny, but if I were to not shave for a few days and put on some outdated glasses, we'd actually look somewhat alike.) Well, let me tell you all something... it doesn't look like said interview is ever gonna happen. And it hurts me much deeper than that whole stupid Buckner & Garcia debacle from a few years back. I worship Master Shake, and it always hurts to be rejected by someone you love.


I should tell you, this has been going on since... oh, I don't know, but I think Clinton was still in office when this damn thing started. I first sent my questions to him while the rest of you assholes were watching the Super Bowl in February, and still haven't gotten them back. Oh sure, Dana and I have e-mailed back and forth a few times--and each time, he apologized about the delay and asked me to resend them. Most recently, he sent me a message through MySpace which read, and I'm quoting here;

I'm so fuckin' sorry about that.. I swear I'll do them today! if you send them to me, lemme asee if I have them- I'm really not a dick...I'm an asshole

Well, that was four days ago, so I'm assuming the questions aren't coming back. Unless, of course, one of Dana Snyder's days is equal to four of ours. (You know, like when Christian scientists try to explain how God supposedly created the world in six days by saying one of God's days is the equivalent of... aw, fucking never mind.) Now, I will admit, my questions were pretty stupid--but really, how can you interview a guy who does the voice for an animated milkshake and NOT ask stupid questions? Unlike those Pac-Man Fever idiots, I will remain a fan of Dana's... mostly because the motherfucker is brilliant, and he's made me laugh to the point of choking... but he let me down. And he let all of you down, too, because that interview would have kicked ass. Why, Dana, why???

"My name is...
Shake Zula, the mic rula
The old schoola..."

Aw, my heart's just not in it right now...