Sold My Soul! Sold My Soul!

Well, it looks like it's back to wearing a shirt and tie every day for me.

*sigh*

I thought I had put those days behind me when I got the hell out of sales. But you know, sales was never a good match for me--not only do I dislike people as a general rule, I also lacked the "killer instinct" that good salespeople have. Plus, I got extremely tired of forcing myself to smile at assholes, when I really wanted to pound their empty craniums with the business end of a shovel. But, you know how the old song goes; "When you're tryin' to make a living, there ain't no such thing as pride."

(Holy shit, I can't believe I just quoted a Richard Marx song. What the hell is wrong with me???)



I look ridiculous when I try to dress up, even more so than usual. You could put a brand new, $5000 tuxedo on me and within 20 minutes it would look rumpled and cheap. I have no sense of style or fashion--and if you were to see me on the streets, I'd no doubt be wearing a black t-shirt and pants. I always wear black... not because I'm filled with angst, it's because I can't be bothered with coordinating colors. Besides, they say black is slimming... and I'm not above resorting to optical illusions to help myself look better. Hell, with my looks I need all the help I can get.

I still can't believe they hired me for a job where I'll be responsible for a team of employees. I must have really layed it on thick during my interviews if they think I can actually pull this off. Let's face it, I can't even take responsibility for my own life. And they want me to manage and motivate people?
Yeah, right... I'm sure...

I so want to write for a living, but at this point people aren't exactly knocking down my door to hire me. Maybe it's because I lack a "formal" education. Maybe it's because my style is too caustic and vulgar. Maybe I just flat out suck. Or maybe it's a bit of all three... I don't know. What I do know is this--a writer's life would suit me just fine. I've been told it's a lonely way to live, but I'm not overly social anyway. Besides, I could be inebriated all day long and it wouldn't even pose a problem... shit, it might even be an asset. I mean, it worked for Hemingway, didn't it?

I'm still on the fence about this blog. I've noticed that traffic has improved this week, but not by much. I will say this, however--the few people who have bothered to e-mail me about this blog have all been from somewhere in Europe. I have no idea why I have so many European readers; most Europeans hate Americans, and I'm about as "American" as they come. So, why am I not hearing from my American readers? It seems that the overseas DP visitors are a lot more likely to actually READ something as opposed to the Americans, who like to look at pictures and nothing else--that much I can tell you.

But I'm just going to make that comment and leave it at that... I'm not going to belabor it.