The Detroit Tigers

How fun, the Tigers actually made the playoffs this year for the first time since 1987. I'm happy for them, but in a way I'll miss "the worst team in baseball." I used to enjoy watching the Tigers in those not-so-long-ago days, because they were like a metaphor for my own life. They'd get their asses whipped almost every night, but they'd always trudge back out there the next day. Even in the rare instances where they'd manage to get a lead going, it was entertaining to sit back and watch them find a way to blow it. Even the sports writers were at a loss to describe how bad this team was; they'd use words such as "woeful," "struggling," "sputtering," and (my favorite) "hapless" to define the Tigers, but eventually they started running out of negative adjectives. I went to see a game at the stadium a couple of seasons ago, and the stands were almost completely empty less than 48 hours after opening day. The Tigers didn't even come close to scoring that day, and never got past first base. (Gee, that sounds like me.) At the end of the game, the small smattering of fans still in attendance booed the team and left in disgust. See, that was MY team. Those were my guys. A scruffy bunch of losers.

Now, a few short years later, they have a shot at going all the way. I mean, don't get me wrong; nobody's picking these guys to head to the World Series, but you never know. Nobody ever expected them to get this far, either, least of all me. But I'm not sure the Tigers are going to be the same for me anymore, because I'm not sure I can relate to a team that actually wins. Maybe I'd better become a Lions fan. They seem to be in no danger whatsoever of winning a game, not even accidentally.