Halls And Nutty Broads

Okay, I'm feeling slightly better as of this morning. I've even been able to somewhat hide the fact that I'm sick, save for the occasional coughing fit and the aroma of Cherry-favored Halls, which undoubtedly hangs heavy over me like a veil of death. I tried to have a few beers last night, which is the first time I drank since "The Tom Green Incident," but that didn't exactly work out. Somehow, the combination of cheap beer and Halls cough drops aren't exactly pleasing to the tastebuds...

I amused myself last night by fucking with yet another person. Not Tom Green this time, though. Nope, this time it was my roommate's "girlfriend," who is a nutty broad that he hooked up with in a chatroom. He met her online one night, she came over a few days later and he banged her. Good for him, I guess. I mean, I was a bit, shall we say, unimpressed when I saw her in person, but whatever floats his boat, you know? She was laying it on really thick with him, claiming she "loved" him and all that shit. But then, the funniest thing happened... I was online one night about a month ago, and he'd forgotten to log off from Yahoo Messenger. She sent me a message (thinking I was him), and when I told her he wasn't there... well, let's just say things got interesting. Not more than half an hour later, she was attempting to seduce me. I started playing along with it, just to see how far she'd go. The next thing I knew, she was talking dirty to me and flashing her boobs on her webcam. I was laughing my ass off, thinking, "Oh great, here we go again..."

Yeah, that's right, I said "again." This is the second time in a row where a roommate's "girlfriend" has attempted to seduce me. My last roommate was seeing this girl (who he's NOT seeing anymore) and she called me up one night, made small talk for about two minutes and then came right out and said, "So... do you wanna fuck?" I about choked on a mouthful of liquor when that happened, because I was NOT expecting it. But I did the right thing by not fucking her... plus, I told him all about it. He wasn't too surprised, as that was pretty much "par for the course" for her. But I don't fuck around with a friend's woman. That's a good way to turn a friend into an enemy--and while I don't really care if people hate me, I'd much prefer apathy.

Anyway, this other girl has been trying to get into my bed for WEEKS now. So, of course I told my current roommate all about it. It's been fun watching her try to juggle two of us at the same time. She has no idea that we've both been in on this scam she's been trying to pull since day one... and sometimes, one of us will have an online conversation with her while the other one looks on and laughs. The funniest part is this... I've seen her in person only twice, and both times were VERY brief. And I didn't say one word to her either time. Now, she's making it sound like she wants to start a whole new life with me. I can't believe some of these damn women...

Don't get me wrong, I'm definitley not against being seduced. But it would be nice if the woman wasn't banging a roommate of mine. It would be even nicer if she wasn't fucking nuts...