Constant Christmas Music Is Hammering Away At My Will To Live

Arrrrraaaagggghhhhhh!!!

This has been going on since the middle of November; The music service at work suddenly decided to switch over from the bland, pleasantly non-offensive soft rock they normally play to Christmas music... and I mean NOTHING but Christmas music... all fucking day. I'm about ready to start savagely tearing people's throats out with my teeth.

There are what, approximately 40 trillion Christmas songs in the world, right? And of ALL these fucking odes to rampant consumerism and greed, I like maybe five of them. I dig McCartney's Wonderful Christmastime, for example. And you can't go wrong with Lennon's Happy X-Mas (War Is Over) either. But if I have to hear another shitty version of A Very Special Christmas or Baby, It's Cold Outside, I'm going to go fucking postal... BIG time.

You know what's worse? My dad (who up until fairly recently I assumed had a set of testicles) absolutely LOVES the shit. I was in the car with him last year and he had some Christmas bullshit playing on the stereo. "Let's turn this shit off," I groused, reaching for the channel changer. "No, I like having this on," he says, stopping me. "I like Christmas songs. It really gets me into the season." I literally did a double take. "Say WHAT???" I even tried to look for a telltale lobotomy scar on his head at that point, but his hair is awfully thick. I don't know, I guess that's what happens when you get older. My dad USED to be into Black Sabbath... now he jams "Smooth Jazz" on the radio, which is best described as "Weather Channel Music." "Listen to that," he says as he's playing it on the radio, "You can really hear the individual instruments." Meanwhile, all I can think of when it's playing is, "Partly cloudy skies today, high of 47 degrees..." If I EVER start jamming to the shit they play on The Weather Channel, I'll know I'm getting old.

But no matter what happens, I'll never like Christmas music. Not ever. Fuck Christmas music. And while we're at it, fuck Christmas, too.

Welcome To My Nightmare...

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Blue Thanksgiving

Come tomorrow, I will be spending Thanksgiving alone.


It's nothing personal. It's just that my mother is going to her in-law's house for Thanksgiving dinner, as is my brother. So I guess that means I have nowhere to go tomorrow. My mom feels really bad about it, I think. We went out to dinner last night and she kept apologizing. Honestly, I'm not that concerned about it. The best thing about Thanksgiving is the leftovers, so that's the only thing I'm really going to miss. Besides, it's fitting that Jeremy the Loner spends a holiday alone, wouldn't you agree? So don't feel too bad for me. I guess I can live without three pounds of leftover turkey.

AND THEN THERE WERE NONE...

The great Sea-Monkey experiment has finally come to an end, as the sole brine shrimp survivor finally croaked the other night. The colony was SUPPOSED to be able to sustain itself for two years... but you know, I have a very hard time keeping aquatic animals alive. Years ago, I had a fish tank in my apartment that my brother gave to me. I bought filters for it, cleaned it up really nice, fed the fish properly... yet nothing seemed to live in there for very long. My friends began jokingly referring to the aquarium as "The Death Tank." The joke was that I'd come home one day and find one of my cats floating belly up in the water, as yet another one of the death tank's many, many victims. The only thing that seemed to thrive in there was the algea eater, which grew to monstrous, almost frightening proportions.
But now, all of my Sea-Monkeys are gone, too. I guess they all slaughtered one another, rather than face a life spent in the gloomy, lonely hellhole that is my bedroom. "The Death Tank" is alive and well for a new generation. I guess I can't do anything right, can I?

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Eat plenty of stuffing for me, will you???

Oh Father

"It's funny that way
You can get used to the tears and the pain
What a child will believe
You never loved me

You can't hurt me now
I got away from you
I never thought I would
You can't make me cry
You once had the power
I never felt so good
About myself

Seems like yesterday
I laid down next to your boots and I prayed
For your anger to end
Oh Father, I have sinned

You can't hurt me now
I got away from you
I never thought I would
You can't make me cry
You once had the power
I never felt so good
About myself

Oh Father
If you never wanted to live that way
If you never wanted to hurt me
Why am I running away?
Oh Father
If you never wanted to live that way
If you never wanted to hurt me
Why am I running away?

Maybe someday
When I look back, I'll be able to say
You didn't mean to be cruel
Somebody hurt you, too

You can't hurt me now
I got away from you
I never thought I would
You can't make me cry
You once had the power
I never felt so good
About myself..."

Halls And Nutty Broads

Okay, I'm feeling slightly better as of this morning. I've even been able to somewhat hide the fact that I'm sick, save for the occasional coughing fit and the aroma of Cherry-favored Halls, which undoubtedly hangs heavy over me like a veil of death. I tried to have a few beers last night, which is the first time I drank since "The Tom Green Incident," but that didn't exactly work out. Somehow, the combination of cheap beer and Halls cough drops aren't exactly pleasing to the tastebuds...

I amused myself last night by fucking with yet another person. Not Tom Green this time, though. Nope, this time it was my roommate's "girlfriend," who is a nutty broad that he hooked up with in a chatroom. He met her online one night, she came over a few days later and he banged her. Good for him, I guess. I mean, I was a bit, shall we say, unimpressed when I saw her in person, but whatever floats his boat, you know? She was laying it on really thick with him, claiming she "loved" him and all that shit. But then, the funniest thing happened... I was online one night about a month ago, and he'd forgotten to log off from Yahoo Messenger. She sent me a message (thinking I was him), and when I told her he wasn't there... well, let's just say things got interesting. Not more than half an hour later, she was attempting to seduce me. I started playing along with it, just to see how far she'd go. The next thing I knew, she was talking dirty to me and flashing her boobs on her webcam. I was laughing my ass off, thinking, "Oh great, here we go again..."

Yeah, that's right, I said "again." This is the second time in a row where a roommate's "girlfriend" has attempted to seduce me. My last roommate was seeing this girl (who he's NOT seeing anymore) and she called me up one night, made small talk for about two minutes and then came right out and said, "So... do you wanna fuck?" I about choked on a mouthful of liquor when that happened, because I was NOT expecting it. But I did the right thing by not fucking her... plus, I told him all about it. He wasn't too surprised, as that was pretty much "par for the course" for her. But I don't fuck around with a friend's woman. That's a good way to turn a friend into an enemy--and while I don't really care if people hate me, I'd much prefer apathy.

Anyway, this other girl has been trying to get into my bed for WEEKS now. So, of course I told my current roommate all about it. It's been fun watching her try to juggle two of us at the same time. She has no idea that we've both been in on this scam she's been trying to pull since day one... and sometimes, one of us will have an online conversation with her while the other one looks on and laughs. The funniest part is this... I've seen her in person only twice, and both times were VERY brief. And I didn't say one word to her either time. Now, she's making it sound like she wants to start a whole new life with me. I can't believe some of these damn women...

Don't get me wrong, I'm definitley not against being seduced. But it would be nice if the woman wasn't banging a roommate of mine. It would be even nicer if she wasn't fucking nuts...

Oh, Great. Now I'm Sick.

Well, I woke up with a raging sore throat this morning, courtesy of my idiot roommate, who spent the better part of a week hacking all over the apartment. This was in spite of my frequent urgings to, "Cover your damn mouth, you fucking moron." That stupid asshole. Whenever he finally drags his lazy ass out of bed, he's gonna hear it from me. I plan on pounding on his empty skull until it cracks open, or until I knock some sense into it. Knowing him, I'm guessing it will crack open first.

You have no idea how much this pisses me off. As if I didn't have enough to worry about over the next few days without throwing this into the mix. I fucking told him, "Look, if you insist on sneezing and coughing with your slack-jawed mouth hanging wide open, the least you can do is go into your room, close the door and do it there." He can do whatever the hell he wants in the privacy of his own room. I NEVER go in there. Hell, I'd be afraid to, lest I get buried in an avalanche of his fucking Star Wars toys. Seriously, this is a guy who doesn't have a pot to piss in, yet he has thousands of dollars worth of stupid toys. Bloody hell.

Now, I have the added joy of being treated like a leper for the next several days. You know how people get when they know you're sick. They start holding up crosses in front of themselves and bellowing, "Back! BA-A-A-ACK!!!" Oh, and I'm sure rehearsals for the show will be an absolute wingding, too. Try projecting your lines when your fucking throat feels like it's on fire. At least I'm nice enough to take precautions so that I don't infect anyone else. I'll make sure not to do things like, oh, I don't know, kiss my stage wife or hack all over people's faces, like that troglodyte roommate of mine.

So, how is YOUR morning going???

The Loner Versus Tom Green

So, I was puttering around online the other night, bored out of my skull and drinking an obscene amount of cheap, cheap vodka. I was completely demolished. You should know, in the past year or so I had pretty much stopped drinking hard liquor, preferring instead to stick to my cheap beer. And lately, I hadn't been drinking enough beer to get smashed... just enough to take the edge off, you know?


Anyway, I saw Tom Green had posted a bulletin on MySpace about a live show he was doing that night from his house. Apparently, since every single one of his MTV type talk shows has failed miserably, he now has to do his show strictly on the Internet. It's not hard to see why. I was actually one of the people that liked the original Tom Green Show and found parts of it pretty funny. His talk shows, on the other hand, really suck. Green is NOT a good interviewer and he's boring as all hell. Besides, I felt I had a bit of a bone to pick with him after that whole DeansPlanet.com failed interview fiasco. (See the October 6th entry for more about that.)


I noticed from the bulletin that Tom's show was broadcasting live at 11:00pm and that his guest was Ross the Intern from The Tonight Show... you know, that pudgy, flamboyantly gay guy that Leno randomly discovered on the street one day and now does shit for the show? Now, I have nothing against Ross the Intern and wasn't all that interested in talking to him. But then I noticed that it just happened to be 10:57pm and Tom's site had a phone number posted where you could call into the show live. Plus, my phone just happened to be sitting there. In my drunken state, it was just too much to resist. So, before you could say, "Why are you calling L.A. at eleven o'clock at night?" I was dialing the number...

To my surprise, I got right through and immediately found myself talking to a screener. As my clouded recollection goes, the call went something like this;

SCREENER: "Tom Green Show."

JEREMY THE LONER: "Uh, hi. I, uh, have a question for... uh, Ross."

SCREENER: "And what is your question?"

JEREMY THE LONER: "Uh... well... you know..."

SCREENER: "Aw, come on, man." *click*

Well, dammit. I'm usually quick on my feet in situations like that, but not after consuming a gallon or so of vodka. Besides, how was I to know they were going to ask me what I wanted to talk about? I hadn't thought that far ahead. And I couldn't very well say, "Oh, I'm just calling to fuck with Tom," could I?

So I picked up the phone and dialed again. This time when the screener answered, I assumed a "flamboyant gay man" voice of my own and started going on about much I just LOVED Ross the Intern. This time, I got right on the air;

TOM GREEN: "Hi, you're on live."

JEREMY THE LONER: (suddenly back to my normal voice) "Hey, guys."

ROSS THE INTERN: "Hi!"

JEREMY THE LONER: "Look, I just want to say... we're having a party over here, the booze is flowing..."

TOM GREEN: (Said SOMETHING at this point, but I have no idea what the fuck it was.)

JEREMY THE LONER: "Well, what I REALLY want to know is..."

TOM GREEN: (Hangs up on me.)

Dammit again! Now it was getting personal. I should have just given up at this point, but you know, vodka and all... So what did I do? I dialed AGAIN. All in all, I ended up getting on the air a total of at least three times. One time I started talking about Britney and K-Fed's impending divorce and I think I even defended Federline's new CD just to see what the reaction would be. (Notice I said "think." I really only vaguely remember the conversations from that night.) Then, after Green kept hanging up on me, no doubt sensing I was a drunken asshole that was about to single-handedly ruin his show, the screener started getting wise to me. "Didn't you already call tonight?" he asked me. Of course, I lied and said I didn't, but he hung up on me anyway. Also, my ability to do many different sounding voices was hampered by my extreme inebriation. So then I had my roommate call from his cell phone, and as soon as they put him through I got back on the phone AGAIN. The thing is, I never really did anything to fuck up his show. I was just spreading drunken cheer. Although there was one point where I yelled, "Hey, Tom, why did you blow off the Dean's Planet interview??" but I think Tom had hung up on me (again) by that point.

I'll definitely call back again at some point... sober this time... and we'll really have some fun. Then, after I get my own show on the net sometime in the future, Tom can call in and fuck with ME.

It's only fair.

No Alcohol+Nothing To Do=Pointless Survey

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?

No, but one of my ex-girlfriends THOUGHT I was going to give her a ring during dinner one night. The look on her face didn't exactly look joyful, though... it was more along the lines of SHEER PANIC. I'm not sure what she was worried about. Number one, I have no desire to get married. Number two, even I'm not tacky enough to propose at the Red Fucking Lobster.

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?

It was about a year. The reason it lasted that long was because we were both so busy that we only got together a few times a month. See that? That's the secret to making a relationship last... NEVER SPEND TIME TOGETHER.

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?

Well, I received the gift of life when I woke up this morning. But that wasn't a gift, exactly... that's just God's way of prolonging the 30+ years of punishment that is known as my stupid life.

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?

I don't own one and I doubt I ever will, so no. I'd LOVE to drop kick yours, though, especially if you're one of those assholes who chat on them while swerving all over the road.

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?

Ha ha.

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?

Funny, but after you get done paying bills, there never seems to be "a lot of money" left, does there? I do spend quite a bit on cheap beer...

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?

A Pop Tart, washed down with a mouthful of vodka. Nahhh, I'm just kidding... I never eat Pop Tarts this early in the day. That's just not right.

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?

My eyes tend to dance all over the opposite sex, probably in a none-too-subtle manner. Not enough time spent with a warm female body will do that to you.

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?

There's too many songs that I USED to love, but now they make me think of people I shouldn't be thinking about. So I rarely listen to anything anymore, save my own singing in the shower.

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

A fucking dump. In a shithole city, in a boring state.

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:

I'd rather not say. Some of my readers are fucking loons, and I'd rather they didn't know EXACTLY where I live.

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:

Aw, blow me.

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:

Gee! If I were a 15-year-old girl, this would be a PERFECT question! Since I'm not, let me say this; Fuck malls. And fuck the mindless dolts who shop at them.

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:

I wasted five years playing Al Bundy at a shoe store. I think that's when I discovered the joys of drinking too much alcohol.

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?

No, just a set of cajones. Unused ones.

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:

Oh yeah, and I'm fucking great at it. I especially love when people dial my number by mistake, because they're in for an experience they'll never forget. Go ahead, try it... I dare you.

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:

Ord and Andrea's, but only because I was best man. I have an aversion to weddings and don't feel comfortable at them... except for the open bar, of course.

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:

A travel agent. Oh wait, you said "friend." I wouldn't call anybody. I'd just get the hell out of town and never return.

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:

I don't have a best friend, hence the name "Jeremy the Loner."

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:

It used to be Burger King, but then they stopped the .99 cent Whoppers promotion. Fuckers.

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:

Uh, I guess that would be, "You're my soulmate, Jeremy."

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?

I don't know... I'm starting to get annoyed by this survey.

24. CAN YOU COOK?

I make a pretty mean Mac n' Cheese. Other than that, my microwave is like an overworked mule.

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:

Ha ha, don't ask.

26. BEST KISSER:

Jennifer. She made my fillings rattle. Damn, THAT was a kiss.

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:

When I looked in the mirror this morning.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:

Anything good for me, of course.

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:

I like nothing about myself, and can't see what anybody else could possibly like about me, either.

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:

Hmmm, should I do this in alphabetic order?

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:

Only about 13 hours. Selling furniture really, really sucked.

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?

"GoodFellas" and "Boogie Nights."

34. CAN YOU SING?

You've heard better. But you've certainly heard worse.

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?

I think it was the Ringo Starr show I saw with Dave. I rarely go out for shit like that anymore...

36. LAST KISS?

Just over a week ago...

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:

I don't rent movies. That's what friends and roommates are for.

38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:

Hopefully my keys, otherwise I'm gonna be REALLY pissed when I get home.

39. FAVORITE vacation spot

The fucking couch. Boo-YEAH!

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:

This is a desktop computer, placed on a very unstable, shoddily built computer stand that wobbles like hell....

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?
George Carlin, 'Lil Jimmy Norton, anybody raunchy and funny.

45. DO YOU SMOKE?

Um... no. Of course not.

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?

That really depends on the amount of alcohol consumed. Usually I pass out in a t-shirt and cutoff sweats, but then sometimes...

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:

Monte the Loner Cat.

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:

No. Relationships are ALL doomed to fail. Especially yours.

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?

A few times. And would you believe it? I wasn't under the influence even ONE time!

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?

Grandma's french toast. Too bad she's dead.

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:

NO. No. No.

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?

Unfertilized. (Rim shot.)

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:

No, I'm not a moron.

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:

Marc. My mom hasn't called to yell at me for weeks.

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:

Jennifer. Oh, and I think my work called, but I missed THAT call on purpose.

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:

The word is spelled "received," you fucking idiot.

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:

Four. The more pillows you have, the less hangover you have the next day. Words to live by.

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:

Black pants, no shirt and a black bow tie. Oh, and tassles.

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:

"I tell the others 'don't bother me,' 'cause when they look at you they don't see what I see..."

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:

Strawberry jam, motherfuckers!

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:

I can, but much like everything I else, I suck at it.

63. CAN YOU SWIM?

I can float pretty good... then I let the fish nibble on me...

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:

Cookies n' Cream, even though I can't stand Oreos plain. There's something wrong with me.

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?

No, I'm more into atlases... maps don't turn me on, you know? (What the hell kind of question is that???)

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:

I'm a prick. And since we're on the subject of "random facts," here's a random fact about this survey... it skips certain numbers, but I don't feel like correcting it.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:

Only ones that I used to host every October the 9th. I think it's safe to say those days are done.

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?

The Season of the Witch, of course.

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?

Can't remember the last time I laughed. Usually, I'm scowling.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?

Well, I never REALLY slept. I think I got up around 10:00am, but that's only because the cat was on my ass to feed him. Fucking cat wants to eat, like, every day.

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:

When it's over?

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:

Almost ten years ago. I'm a sneaky bastard and I rarely get caught doing bad things.

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:

I had a cat named Kitty Boy Floyd when I was a toddler. I used to carry him around like a toy and never got a scratch from him. He'd shred anybody else who tried to touch him into ribbons.

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:

I think pirates blow cock. Those fucking Johnny Depp movies suddenly made pirates "cool" again. I hate people.

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??:

I don't know, but hopefully it will put me at risk for a STD. Actually, I'll be working and going to rehearsal. Just like last weekend. And the one before.

78. BIRTHDATE:

April 10. The exact same day the Titanic left port in 1912, as it turns out. April 10 has PLENTY of disasters throughout history.

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:

Somebody else.

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:

Great, now we're repeating questions? And I thought I had a short attention span...

87. ARE YOU SMILING?:

No. I think I forgot how.

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?:

Oh God, yes. But does anyone miss me? Not likely...

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?

Some place where the natives look upon Jeremy the Loner as a God. In other words, a place that doesn't actually exist.

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:

Mentally and emotionally, yes. Physically, no.

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:

Why, of course. I'm not dead... not just yet. Getting there, though.

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?

Peter Gozinya.

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:

Holy shit, the last time I went swimming I used a pair of Bugs Bunny boxer shorts as my suit. Consider yourself lucky that you weren't there to witness it.

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:

The School of Hard Knocks has classes all year long. I'm going for my Masters next year...

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:

Vacation? In October? A nice thought, but no. Besides, being out of work in late '04 and early '05 was more than enough "vacation" for me...

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:

No. I don't like the idea of being stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Not even WITH a bar inside.

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?:

No. Just a brother who never calls.

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:

On the third floor. I'm so glad that I don't have to live underneath me, what with the way I stumble around heavy-footed in the middle of the night.

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?:

No. I don't think that concept exists for someone like me.

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?:

Only to visit people who were dying. Lucky them, their problems are now over.

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?:

Yes and no.

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?

I own no jewelry whatsoever, other than what other people inexplicably bought for me. I think I still have a necklace and a bracelet that what's-her-face got me, but it's been in a drawer forever, never worn.

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?

Hopefully, something more interesting than filling out dumb surveys written by 15-year-old imbeciles.

Forever Afternoon (Tuesday?)

Don't worry, no lyrics today. The Moody Blues reference in the title is strictly a red herring. Besides, you know, it's Tuesday...

Okay. I'm thinking seriously of moving this damn blog some place else, preferably a site where I can, oh I don't know, update the blog whenever the fuck I feel like it and not have to ask myself, "I wonder how Blogger is feeling today?" Maybe I could move it over to my MySpace account. Sure, MySpace has PLENTY of bugs of its own, but at least the blog over there (which I almost never update) isn't a problem. Hell, even Xanga or Live Journal aren't sounding too bad at this point. I'm sure I'd lose a LOT of readers in the moving process, but I really don't give a shit...

Halloween was (yet again) a major disappointment this year. I had to work for one thing, and the only redeeming thing about that was I got to make a nighttime visit to what I have now deemed "the haunted dumpster." By the time I got home, the streets were already deserted... and it was barely 8:00pm! In my day, we used to stay out a hell of a lot later than that. We'd be out trick or treating until ALL of the porch lights went out. What's wrong with these kids today??? It seems like every new generation is going out of their way to ruin Halloween. Fucking kids ruin everything.

I miss my "Sounds of the Season" on Music Choice, too. Me and the Rev got into that cable channel a couple of years back, and I dig it. From October 18th to the 31st, they play nothing but Halloween-related music on the channel. Why not play it the entire month of October, you ask? I have no idea... but I think it's part of the vast "let's ruin Halloween" conspiracy that seems to be going on these days. Blame it on the Republicans.

Anyway, I ALWAYS have Sounds of the Season turned on once they start in with Halloween music. I don't watch much TV, but I like having it on in the background while I'm vainly trying to update my blog. It was on when I went to bed Halloween night, and when I woke up November 1st and turned the TV back on, it was playing a Gloria Estefan Christmas song. That's right, a fucking Christmas song. On the first of November. You never saw a person change a channel as fast as I did. Get ready for two solid months of Christmas cheer getting crammed down your throat. Again, blame it on the fucking republicans. And no, I'm not a democrat, in case you were wondering. Fuck BOTH of the major parties. Ultra left and ultra right wing people are fucking idiots, for completely different reasons. So make sure you get out and vote today.... um, for somebody else.

Well, I'm gonna cross my fingers and hit "publish post" now.