NAME: Catherine Bach

CLAIM TO FAME: Playing the luscious, cut-offs wearing, woody inducing Daisy Duke on "The Dukes of Hazzard".

THOUGHTS: I used to love watching "The Dukes of Hazzard" when I was a kid. It was like a ritual--every Friday night at 8:00pm, I'd be glued to the TV screen for all the car chasing mayhem. Hazzard County seemed like a pretty cool place to live. Sure, the cops were always hassling you and trying to pull you over, but it was perfectly okay to lead them on high speed chases. Bo and Luke Duke had a bad ass car, one that rivalled KITT on "Knight Rider". It was a Dodge Charger called the General Lee, with a cool, very non P.C. Confederate flag painted on the roof.

My parents didn't share my love for this masterpiece, but they tolerated the weekly dose they were forced to endure. My dad would constantly make scornful remarks about the "puke boys" and their faggoty car. "Dodge Chargers are awesome!", I would declare, having no idea of what I was talking about. "No, Dodges are PIECES OF SHIT", my dad would explain. Then he'd leave the room and roll up a fattie.

Being the innocent children that we were, we would get together with some of the neighborhood kids and play "The Dukes of Hazzard". One of the neighbors had a decrepit snowmobile in their backyard which quickly became a makeshift General Lee. One kid (usually my brother) would hop
on the snowmobile and announce "I'm Bo!" Another kid would climb up behind him and say "I'm Luke!" As for me, I was the youngest--so the best I could hope for was playing Cooter. Nobody ever wanted to be Cooter or Boss Hogg. Sometimes, they'd even try to make me play the part
of Daisy Duke. But when they pulled that shit, I'd just dejectedly walk home. I may have been the youngest, but I had SOME pride.

The Dukes have been off the air for close to twenty years now, so I hadn't seen it in a long time. When TNN started airing reruns a few years back, I eagerly turned it on one night, hoping to bask in all the nostalgic glory. Unfortunately, the show wasn't quite as good as I remembered it. In fact, it downright sucked.

"How did I ever watch this shit?" I found myself wondering during the 15th car chase scene of the episode. I was a dumb kid just like everybody else, but I found it hard to believe I could be THAT easily entertained. But then, Daisy Duke made her first appearance of the episode--and the appeal came rushing back to me in one, brief, hormonal moment.

Christ almighty, that woman was hot. I'd never even realized just how hot she was until that very second. As a child, I was aware of her being "pretty". But that was about the extent of it. (Give me a break, I was only nine years old.) But I had a slightly different take twenty years after the fact. What a hot body this broad had. Fantastic legs. Great ass, nice hips.... and she had a pretty damn good rack, too. Suddenly, it wasn't so hard to understand why this show got such great ratings in the early 80's. That bit in the opening credits with Daisy in a bikini--that alone was worth tuning in for! And nobody looked hotter in a part of cut-off shorts than Catherine Bach. Hell, she even inspired her own fashion trend when women took to calling ultra tiny cut-off shorts "Daisy Dukes". Bach definitely had a hand in jump starting puberty for me. Thankfully, I was too young to have discovered masturbation--there was only one TV in the house, which might have made for some awkward situations... ("Oh my GOD, Jer! What are you DOING, you... you... sick little
bastard???")

STILL HOT?: This is open for debate, believe it or not. During the recent "Dukes of Hazzard" reunion movies, there was a lot of bitching about Daisy packing a little too much junk in her Daisy Dukes.... and about whether or not she'd be able to squeeze her sizable ass through the windows of the General Lee.

Come on, are you guys SERIOUS? The woman could weigh 250 pounds for all I care. I'd still hit that in a heartbeat. If I could go to my grave knowing I banged Daisy Duke, all would be right with the world. I'd put on one of Roscoe's sheriff hats, grab a handful of her flowing brown hair and and boff the hell right out of her.

Yee-haw, motherfuckers!

-JTL

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