NAME: Farrah Fawcett

CLAIM TO FAME: Portraying the character of Jill Munroe, who is arguably the hottest of all the "Charlie's Angels" broads, including those lame-ass movies. (So screw you, Lucy Liu, and the ugly tree that you fell out of.) And let's not forget about Farrah's hair... dear God, the hair! The hair!

THOUGHTS: As with Lynda Carter, I'm a little too young to truly understand how popular this woman was once upon a time. To tell you the truth, I don't even know all that much about Farrah Fawcett--but apparently, a lot of you readers do. She has more "classic broad" reader nominations than anyone else, by far. I can only assume that quite a few of you liked to watch "Charlie's Angels" with your right hand "occupied", if you catch my drift...

Plus, Farrah is among that elite hierarchy of superstars that can be recognized simply by their first name. That's pretty impressive. I mean, it puts her right up there with such celebrities as Cher and Madonna. Or Justin and Beyonce. Wacko and Jacko.

Of course, being a celebrity today isn't quite like it was in 1976, when Farrah first exploded on the scene. Back then, you could sunbathe in the nude without worrying about incriminating naked pics of yourself ending up on the internet within 24 hours. But in a lot of ways, stardom was exactly the same--like with the tabloids, for example. My first memories of Farrah are of seeing her face plastered on every tabloid magazine known to man. She was definitely the breakout star of "Charlie's Angels", and she had no problems acting like it. All the men wanted to bang her and all the broads wanted to look like her. There was a time when her ridiculous, 70's hairdo was coveted by women the same way Jennifer Aniston's was back in the mid-90's. And I'm guessing all that adulation went straight to her big, blonde head, because after one measly season she decided she was "too big" for "Charlie's Angels" and went on to persue a film career. Yep, Farrah is to "Charlie's Angels" what Suzanne Somers was to "Three's Company".... two greedy blondes that almost ruined their respective shows. And incidentally, both Suzanne and Farrah had the same manager...

But it's funny that most people today remember Farrah's fucked up personal life more than her work as an actress. Way back when, she was married to Lee Majors of "The Six Million Dollar Man" fame. I'm not sure whatever happened to that guy, but I'd be willing to bet that it's been a LONG time since he's seen six dollars, let alone six million. He probably peruses old TV Guides with his face on the cover and sobs uncontrollably...

Anyway, Majors was leaving town to shoot a movie so he asked his good friend Ryan O' Neal (male slut extraordinare) to keep an eye on Farrah while he was away. (Note to self: If, by some inexplicable act of God I ever get married to a gorgeous young starlet, do not, I repeat DO NOT
have a hunky best friend "keep an eye on her" while I'm gone.) Needless to say, by the time Majors got back Farrah was shacking up with Ryan and that was the end of THAT marriage. You gotta love Hollywood romances.

But if I were to sum up Farrah's appeal in a nutshell, I could do it with three words... "the swimsuit poster". That's right, THE poster. And there's not a single heterosexual man reading this column that doesn't know exactly what I'm talking about. It's that famous photograph of Farrah in a one-piece swimsuit, flashing her million watt smile with her tousled, feathered blonde hair cascading carelessly onto her shoulders, her nipples proudly standing tall and erect. It was one of the first posters to ever sell more than a million copies, and it adorned many a wall back in the 70's and 80's. And rest assured, that poster launched many, many masturbation sessions.

But Farrah wasn't content to be just a sex symbol. In the mid-80's, she made a name for herself by playing abused women in very non-glamorous roles where she went out of her way to NOT be sexy. Remember "Extremities", where she imprisons and tortures the guy who raped her?
Or how about "The Burning Bed", in which she plays a battered wife who takes her husband and... well, the title kind of gives this one away. These were attempts to showcase her "serious" work as an actress and show us all that she's not just some piece of ass. But when that didn't lead to a stellar acting career, she broke down and gave us all exactly what we wanted... a spread in Playboy. Personally, I thought the pictorial was, oh, 20 years overdue. But a lot of you guys must have fond memories of "the poster", because that particular issue went on to be the best-selling Playboy of the 90's.

STILL HOT?: You know, Dean ran a photograph of Farrah recently for "Pic of the Day" which showed her at age 57. Her makeup (or lack thereof) was a mess and her hair was showing plenty of grey--but I'm not sure if she's just trying to age gracefully, or she's just going nuts. We all
remember her appearance on Letterman a few years back when she was raving like a loon. Or when she was dating that guy James Orr and he allegedly smacked her around in a very public altercation which the cops eventually had to break up. (I guess Orr hasn't seen "The Burning Bed",
eh?)

So obviously, I'd bang her in a second. (Especially if I could get her to call me "Charlie".) She might be into it, too. For some reason, I tend to do really well with women who have severe mental and psychological problems.... they always seem to dig me.

Huh, go figure.

-JTL

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