NAME: Heather Locklear

CLAIM TO FAME: Television actress, mostly. She's generally remembered best as the conniving bitch vixen Amanda from "Melrose Place," which is a television show she single-handedly revived and brought forth from the dead, but I go back further with her. I remember spanking it while watching her in short shorts on "Dynasty" as Sammy Jo and then pulling double duty looking all hot in a police uniform in the *cough* classic *cough* William Shatner television show "T.J. Hooker" while "Dynasty" was still in production. Heather still hasn't given up on TV. She had a role on "Spin City" during its last couple of years while it was wheezing and gasping for air before it mercifully died in 2002, and this year she's back on a new show about an airport called "LAX."

THOUGHTS: Heather was probably The hottest TV babe of the 1980s, and she is one of those rare souls who was able to carry my lust for her in to the 1990s and her 30s, which is an age-group cutoff my tastes normally use to start looking for some new hot early 20-something to ogle. But the thing about Heather that was just as hot as her looks was who she hung out with and what that meant to me. When Heather was at the height of her double duty on both "T.J. Hooker" and "Dynasty" in 1986 she got married. And she didn't marry just anyone. She married the drummer of one of the biggest rock bands of the time when she married Tommy Lee of Motley Crue. This was before all the Tommy and Pam Anderson hi-jinx, when the world got familiar with his massive schlong and how he used it.

So at the time all you knew was that Heather was hot enough to make crappy TV shows worth watching. That she was into partying, as evidenced by her association with a rock star living every last nuance of the rock 'n roll lifestyle, and that if there was some chance in some way, in some universe that you would be at the same party she was attending. She just might be drunk or drugged enough to forget she was married and go off into an empty bedroom with you where if nothing else you might get a little Heather stinky on your pinky. Of course, once Tommy found out you'd be dead because he's crazy as hell, but it'd probably be worth it to die with a little Heather on you. Anyway, Heather's marriage to Tommy didn't last, but she still proved her love for men who are (or were) at least a little bit wild and living the rock life when she married Bon Jovi's guitarist Richie Sambora. That marriage has stuck to this day, and you know Richie's happy because even though everyone knows that Heather was hot, only he (and Tommy Lee and probably a few others) really knows how wild she is. The rest of us are still just left to imagine.