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by Doc, DeansPlanet.Com staff writer
Can I Have Your Autograph... / Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice:
You Just Never Know What Will Come
Out Of His Mouth Next
04-28-02
 
No Howard Stern autograph collection would be complete without members of the infamous Wack Pack. Luckily, many of the Wack Packers offer their autographs for sale at appearances and their websites, ranging as little as $5 to $20 for an autographed 8x10. Not a bad deal really considering other frequent show guests ask much, much more. Chuck Norris, for example, sells his signature on his website for a cool $100, too steep for me. To be honest, he is a good guest but Shrineworthy? Sorry Chuck. Today's featured artist, however, most definitely is Shrineworthy and worth any price in my opinion. No one stands taller in the Stern world today than the black man with the small head, the one and only Beetlejuice. What can I say about Beetlejuice that hasn't already been said? He is the best!! No one comes even close. Besides an amazing amount of raw talent and ability to make people laugh, Beetlejuice is fortunate to have something that the other Wack Packers could use a little more of: Excellent management.

The Wack Packers come in all shapes and sizes and how they conduct business is just as diverse. No offense to Nicole Bass but when I sent my check to her for an autographed photo offered on her site, it took over 7 months to receive the merchandise. Countless emails, two lost checks, certified mail. Nightmare is not a strong enough word. Still love ya Nicole, more on her in a future article. Beetlejuice has perhaps the best management of the gang with the best person in his corner, manager Sean AKA Boo. When you are dealing with Sean, you have no worries and in my opinion is no doubt the single biggest reason for Beetlejuice's unprecedented success. I received my autographed 8x10 promptly with no hassle and it even included what we call in the hobby a COA or certificate of authenticity, something very, very rare in the Stern autograph world. Beetlejuice and company raising the bar once again.

Recently, Sean and Beetlejuice went even beyond my expectations and loaned the Howard Shrine a tooth of Beets' that he lost back in July of 2001. I have it proudly on display and is one of my most prized possessions, even if it is only temporary. Make those travel arrangements today before it's too late!! Thank you Sean. Thank you Beetlejuice. It is quite an honor. Along with Sean there are many supportive people surrounding Beetlejuice that makes it all work. I recently caught up with some of "Team Beetlejuice" and they were cool enough to give me the following interview. Team? Management? You could call their unique relationship all of these things, but I get the feeling one word might describe things best......FAMILY.
Doc: Thanks guys for granting me this interview. A question on the minds of a lot of Beetlejuice's fans is when can we expect the release of the much anticipated Beetlejuice doll? Cost?

Sean: In late May the dolls will be ready to sell. They will retail in stores for $17. On our site we will be selling them for $25. However, Beetlejuice will be signing the box of the doll. Plus, it will come with a certificate of authenticity. This offer will only be available at our online store at www.jollydwarf.com.

Doc: You offer Beetlejuice fans many great products at your website. What seems to be the most requested item? Any new items in the works besides the doll?
Sean: The most requested item is the "Me?" T-shirts that we sell and the personal Polaroid pictures, where Beet holds up a sign of whatever the customer wants it to say. We just got back into doing personalized videos of Beet saying what the customer wants him to say.
Doc: Beet, you never seem to disappoint when you are on the show. Come clean with your fans once and for all, what percentage would you say is just an act?
Beetlejuice: Never disappoint dude, never. I do this shit all my life, it's my job. Percentage is like a act. It's like something you do.
Doc: It could be my imagination but Robin seems to be in love with you. I can see it in her eyes whenever you two are in the studio together. Have you two ever had sex? What was she like? Who is the better lay, Robin or Sean's wife?

Beetlejuice: Robin loves me dude. She knows I tear that up like oranges bro. I gots eyes, I sees straight buddy. Yeah, I had sex with her like 2 times like 6 times a week. Oh she was great. I banged her and Sean's wife at the same time he wasn't even looking.

Doc: What projects are you guys working on now? Can we expect any more movie or TV show appearances in the near future?
Sean: We have a few deals in the works. Our latest appearance was on the Judge Mathis show. We sued Drunken Jamie. That will air May 13th. I don't wanna spoil it for the fans.
Doc: How much of the Stern show do you catch in the morning Sean?

Sean: I really only get to watch the show because I am a night person and usually don't get to sleep until 3 am and wake when the morning show is just about over.

Doc: Thank you for all the great stuff Beetlejuice. Do you collect anything? Is there anyone famous whose autograph you would like to get?
Beetlejuice: I collect all types of different things. I would get Michael Jackson's signature if he wanted me to.
Doc: If you had to use just ONE word to describe these people what would it be?
1) Howard Stern 2) Boo 3)Robin 4)Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice: Howard Stern is my best friend. Boo is a real asshole. Oh, you mean Sean? He's my brother. Robin she got beautiful tits. Beetlejuice? That's me!
Doc: Anything about Sean we should know about?
Drunken Jamie: Sean is just about as fair of a man that I've ever met..So to all the jealous people in the world, "It's too bad, you can't have Beetlejuice, he's already spoken for..And fuck you, I'm gonna have a beer on you...to all the cool fans..keep chillin and have a beer on me!"
Doc: A beer right now sounds great. Thanks guys.Great job. Sometimes these interviews can be like "pulling teeth" and sometimes they are a real pleasure like this one was. Good luck to you all. Nothing but continued success.
Sean: Myself, Jamie and Beet would just like to thank the fans for being so cool with us and supporting what we do. We'd also like to mention that without Howard Stern, none of this would be possible. Not for one minute do we take for granted what we have. We want the fans to know that if
they ever have a question or comment to ask about Beet, not to hesitate to e-mail us.
Next article:
America's favorite fruit......??