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by Doc, DeansPlanet.Com staff writer |
| Can I Have Your Autograph... / Christie |
| Christie
02-19-02
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 Who
should I try to get? Of course you will want Howard and the
crew in your collection but what about some of the guests?
I will discuss in my next article about the crew (who are
good signers and how to get them), but today I wanted to showcase
one of the recent, lesser known guests, Christie Wood. Who
is  Christie
Wood you ask? Christie was on the show not too long ago to
help plug her husband's band
Loaded Poets. The cost for this plug? Make out with the
one and the only, Beetlejuice. Like 20,000+ other listeners
I visited their site after her appearance and discovered a
photo of a pretty hot chick. I wrote an email and asked for
an autographed photo from Christie. Within a day Christie
got back to me and said, "No problem." I offered
to send her a self-addressed-stamped envelope (SASE) but she
wouldn't hear of it. No SASE, no charge, no hassle. An autograph
collectors dream. Things would only get better. Thinking that
I would receive a copy of the photo from the website (which
would have been COOL) instead in my mail box, less than one
week later, was a signed picture of Christie AND Howard at
the studio. VERY COOL!! I have corresponded with Christie
since, told her about DeansPlanet.Com, and she was kind enough
to grant us a tell-all, behind the scenes interview. |
| Doc:
Have you been a fan of Howard for a long time? |
| Christie:
Yes, since 1985 when I was first out of college and had
time to find fun things on the radio. |
| Doc:
How did you manage to get on the show? |
| Christie:
I went out to a local bar to see The Fred Norris Band in the
Fall of 1998. I felt like a scumbag when I approached Fred
after the show to ask him to give a letter to Gary DellAbate
which contained a hot, lingerie-clad photo of myself and a
short note saying I would be a good sport with any stunt they
had in mind. Instead of the eye-rolling response I expected,
Fred took the letter, held it to his chest with closed eyes
and said "I hope that whatever is in this envelope comes
to fruition for you." He's the best!!!!!! |
| Doc:
So, obviously they called you at some point. |
Christie:
That's the most ironic part of the story! After forgetting
totally about the note,  K.C.
called me 3 YEARS LATER and said they file away all the letters
that they receive and peruse the files when they need fresh
blood. I was 5 months pregnant when they called, and not in
the same wild and crazy mode that I'd been in when I wrote
the letter. I told them that I was having my Amnio that very
week and hadn't told a soul that I was pregnant. Both Benjy
and K.C. said "can't help ya" when I requested that
my pregnancy be kept under wraps; they said it added a nice
sleazy element to making out with Beetlejuice. It was either
tell or not be on the show! So, I decided to call all my friends
and family the night before and tell them that the show's
producers threw in the pregnant story to spice things up and
luckily, it worked. One week later: baby fine, everybody told!
Doc: What's the drill when you get to the show?
Christie: They have you
arrive at 5:45 and don't tell you what time your segment will
be, so you get out of bed sometime around 3 am! As a girl,
I had to attempt to do my hair and make-up at that hour which
was a challenge! When you get there, they search your bags
with a metal detector, and I don't consider that they do a
very thorough job. It was done too cursorily, and it made
me afraid for Howard's safety if a maniac should ever make
his way into the studio. Then you get ushered into a boring
little waiting room with audio only of the show.
Doc: Were you beginning to get nervous? |
| Christie:
Funny, 3 years ago, I definitely would have been, but now
I have a bunch of acting classes and experience under my belt
( much needed when kissing the likes of Beetle!!) so I just
left a fun feeling. |
| Doc:
How much of a pre-interview do they give you? |
| Christie:
A few minutes on the phone the day before then a few minutes
when you are in the waiting room. I was taken aback by the
fact that they asked me 3 times if I would be a good sport
if I lost. Guests who act up and get rowdy are much more interesting.
I began to suspect that they planned to have me lose. This
suspicion was added to by the fact that some producer person
came in and deemed my totally see-through body suit unworkable,
despite the fact that I had a blazer over it. He said I couldn't
be trusted to keep the blazer closed and they couldn't have
my nipples show for long periods. He made me put on a bathing
suit top under the blazer, which didn't bother me too much
until I witnessed my competition strip to the waist. Hmmmmmmm. |
| Doc:
How was it to see Howard in the flesh? |
| Christie:
Very thrilling, naturally! He's built like a yardstick!! He
seems sweet and intellectual. They have you sit SOOO far from
him. The studio is huge. I wanted to be on his lap or something,
but that was not the nature of the set-up. |
| Doc:
Was Beetlejuice repulsive to you? |
Christie:
He always has been when I see him on TV, but in person, he's
like a child. Kissing him was like child molestation or kissing
a blow-up doll! My acting experience was INVALUABLE at this
point! (Shameless plug: look at www.timewarpfilms.com
for my movie STAKES due out this summer). I was sorry to see
that they edited out all the crotch fondling for the E! channel.
It was like a cocktail frank under a comforter. heehee
I think I followed the directions precisely- make out with
Beetlejuice and let it look like you're into it. The other
girl just did a lap dance and let her disgust show totally
. When the judging was going on, there were subtle eye signals
between everyone that let me know they were setting up 2 ties.
The cameras did not show this. |
| Doc:
All in all, how was the experience for you? |
Christie:
Despite my conclusion that the whole  segment
was a paid advertisement for Sal Calabro's cosmetic surgery
practice, I had an absolute blast! Who else can look back
from their rocking chair and say they went on the Howard Stern
Show on a whim? The content of the stunt that they presented
to me was never the focus. I just wanted to have the thrill
of being on and I did it! Also, you have seen what short shrift
Howard gives to playing band's music. If I had won, he would
have trashed the song like he is known to do. Instead, we
got 20,000 web hits as a result of my appearance, and 200
of them had lovely, positive emails. It SO rocked to get requests
for autographed photos from all over! 15 minutes of fame!
One guy wants photos of my big belly.......hmmmmm. Shameless
plug #2: www.loadedpoets.com.
That's my husband's band's site, and think about it- I could
have chosen an expensive prize in the competition, but simply
being on the show was what it was all about for me, so I decided
to sort of share the experience by letting a few more people
hear the brilliance that is produced by my husband and his
bandmates. P.S. Robin really does scurry out of the room without
making eye contact just like the rumors go! |
| Doc:
Thank you Christie for that very informative, no-holds barred
interview. Your honesty would make even Howard proud. |
| Christie:
You are quite welcome Doc. It was my pleasure!! |
 Christie was a good sport and guest for the show, a very hot kisser (she was robbed. Best two out of three anyone??), and definitely a great addition to any Stern Show autograph collection. Christie Wood=SHRINE-WORTHY. Thanks Christie!! If you would be interested in receiving your own personalized autograph picture from Christie or would just like to drop her a note, email her at WOODBRAZIL@aol.com.
Next article: The Crew |
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