Howard Stern sidekick, Artie Lange, is a fat racist motherfucker. That is according to 19 year old porn newcomer, Crystal Clear, and her director Rob Spallone, in a recent appearance on the Howard Stern show. Actually, it really wasn't Mr. Spallone who said that about Artie Lange. It was said by Artie Lange himself, on the phone pretending to be Rob, in one of the funniest Howard TV episodes so far. Artie as “Rob” was just kidding. Crystal Clear was not. Crystal visited Studio 69 at Sirius Satellite Radio to promote her new project, the world's largest oldest gangbang. In Rob Spallone's latest record breaking movie, Crystal will attempt to have sex with at least 50 men and women that are over 60 years of age. Rob Spallone's last record breaking movie, the 300 pound gangbang with Kat Kleavage, was also promoted on the Stern show, and even featured wack packer, High Pitch Erik. The interview with Crystal seemed to be going well, until show producer Gary Dellabate pointed out that Crystal had a boyfriend, who was 41 years old and BLACK!! It didn't take long for Artie to pull out his stereotypical black man imitation. Visibly irritated by Artie's comments immediately, the funnyman finally crossed the point of no return for Crystal when he offered her a chocolate twinkie and said, “You want one? You are used to black things with white stuff coming out of it.” Was that a racist joke, or more of a sexual one? That was the debate around the room, but Crystal didn't want to hear any of it, even after Artie apologized repeatedly for upsetting her. With Crystal on the verge of tears, Howard ordered Artie to leave the studio for the rest of the interview. Outside the studio, Artie decided to call in as Crystal's black boyfriend. Crystal, however, thought it was Rob on the phone, and followed her director's instructions, including taking a ride on the female masturbation machine known as the Sybian. Do you think Artie's comment was racist? Is the Stern show racist?  I have to say I watched the episode a few times, and I can see why Crystal got upset. But it was a joke delivered by Howard, not Artie, that might have been the most “racist.” Gary Dellabate, who started the whole thing, tried enticing Crystal to stay on the Sybian and achieve an orgasm by offering her the prize of Carson's mouth watering ribs…he said with a glee in his eyes. “Your boyfriend will love it.” quipped Howard. Hahaha  Later, when Crystal's boyfriend, Daryl, called in and told everyone to eat a bowel of dicks, Artie and Kidd Chris looked at each other, and giggled like two school girls over I imagine how close Artie's impression was to yo yo yo Daryl on de phone. Holy mackeral Andy. Damn, I be doing it now. Just for the record Crystal, I'm not racist either….I don't think so anyway.

Racist or not, to me it was a shrine-worthy appearance by Crystal Clear, and I just had to contact her. I got Rob Spallone's email address from the webmaster of his website, www.oldestgangbang.com  and emailed him my request for an autograph and interview. He emailed me back a phone number, and asked me to call. I called without hesitation. After identifying myself to Rob I was surprised when he handed the phone over to Crystal. Caught with my pants down and unprepared to do any interview, I decided on the spot that I couldn't pass up the opportunity, and asked her a few questions about the appearance. She told me that she didn't know it wasn't Rob on the phone until she watched the Howard TV episode. That is when she found out it was “That idiot.” Here is that short chat with Crystal Clear, our featured shrine inductee who Artie Lange called the “Best Guest of all time.” I might have to agree with you, you spaghetti bending dago wop guinea. (interview and audio) Thanks Crystal, and good luck with the gangbang, and with your porno career. I hope to see lots more of you on the Howard Stern show in the future. 

Listen to the interview