|
by Doc, DeansPlanet.Com staff writer |
| Can I Have Your Autograph... / Dick Delicious |
| Dick
Delicious
03-03-03
|
|
|  "DIARRHEA!!
DIARRHEA!!" We heard that song on The Stern Show for
weeks with Howard slipping it into the Top 5 pop song countdown
every chance he could. But it was not until the band responsible
for the song was invited to the studio that serious Shrine
consideration became apparent. Dick Delicious and the Tasty
Testicles made show history by being the first band ever
to receive the Howard Stern Award honoring excellence in
original music. Shortly after their  historic
appearance I spotted an account of the day posted by Dick
himself at one of the Stern message boards (The
Underground). Knowing that their story would quickly
slip back into the board's archives never to see the light
of day again I contacted Dick AKA
 Jay
to see if he would like a better forum
for his story and also to see if I
could get an autograph from this
Shrine-worthy band. "No problem, just e-mail me your
address." Very cool. A few weeks later I receive not
only a great autographed 10X8 but all 3 of their music CDs
and one CD
full of Jay's prank phone calls. Here
is their account of that day although a few things have
changed since it was first posted, namely the band's relationship
with  their
former booking agent. (more on this later).
Along with the generous package in
the mail
Dick also agreed to grant an interview for the article.
In my opinion, Woots, a good friend and longtime True Fan
of Stern, being a musician himself and a big fan of Dick
and his testicles, was the logical choice to conduct this
interview. The Head of TFOS covert operations gladly accepted
the job and did a great job as always. Thanks bro !!
|
| Woots:
How did you guys hook up with each other? |
| Dick
Delicious: We met at a satanic virgin sacrifice
in 1492. I met Hugh 1992, in the dying days of death and hair
metal, we wanted to start a band that played decent music
that had funny lyrics.. |
|
| Woots:
How long have you been together as a band? |
| Dick
Delicious: Since 1493, when we decided not to sacrifice
Hughs sister and just fucked her! |
| Woots:
Who are some of your musical influences? |
| Dick
Delicious: Mostly the first album by Spice Girls,
the 2nd album by Spice Girls, the 3rd album by Spice Girls
and the new one that will be out soon. I am very much exited
about this. |
| Woots:
Did you guys start out as a commercial band that got sick
of the bullshit that goes along with being a commercial band?
Did you say fuck it and become what you are today just to
rub it in the faces of all the bullshit club owners, managers,
and agents who would not give you a break? |
| Dick
Delicious: Actually you encounter more problems
going off in the direction that we decided to go, aside from
a nice plug from Howard. Originality does not seem to be appreciated
in this business. We would have done better just being the
cookie cutter band of the week - that's what these labels
want. They just want to duplicate the flavor of the week as
many times as possible, before the idiots that are buying
it realize that it sucks. I'd like to do more than "rub
it in the faces" of all these industry types. The music
business is ruled by a bunch of dickless bonesmokers that
deserve to be killed, brought back to life, killed again,
and then I will join them in hell to torture their asses some
more! |
|
|
|
|
| Woots:
Now that Howard has given you major national exposure, how
has this affected the band? |
| Dick
Delicious: It's been great for us. We don't expect
that we will get signed all of a sudden, but we moved a shitload
of CDs and broke a lot of new ground thanks to Howard. The
loyalty of Howard fans is also a great thing - it's a whole
new audience from the metal/punk types we'd played for in
the past. |
| Woots:
Some people have thought your ground
zero picture was in bad taste, what are your views on
what people think of this picture? What influenced you to
take that picture in the first place? |
| Dick
Delicious:
What ground zero picture? |
| Woots:
Since your national exposure on the Stern show, are you getting
better gig offers? Any offers to tour in support of other
national acts? |
|
| Dick
Delicious: No - they are worried we might blow
them away live too bad, so they don't want to have us. |
| Woots:
Give us some behind the scenes info about what went on in
the green room, how were you treated by the Stern show staff?
Did you hook up with any of Howard's hot interns after your
appearance? |
| Dick
Delicious: The Stern Staff was great - they were
very professional and cool. We ate a bunch of acid and got
drunk as 16 year old Irishmen on St. Patricks day. As for
the interns.they were all guys that I saw. Maybe you'd think
they were hot - lol. |
|
|
| Woots:
Is Scores really as great a place as Howard says it is?
|
| Dick
Delicious: Na - I really didn't like it. I hate
tit bars where they are trying to hustle you nonstop the whole
time you are in there. |
 Woots:
Back in my road days, I used to play in Atlanta a lot and
there are some great tittie bars there, in your opinion,
how does Scores compare to them?
Dick Delicious: Atlanta
Titty bars pretty much blow away all titty bars in all other
cities. Vegas and Miami have one or 2 select bars that can
keep up, but (as a hole) - the ATL has is locked down! Woots: Since your Stern show appearance, has sales of your music and merchandise increased?
|
| Dick
Delicious: Yeah, sales have gone through the roof!
(seriously) |
| Woots:
What are your favorite adult recreational party favors? In
other words, what are your favorite drugs and drinks? What
are your views on Hunter S. Thompson? ( I saw your remarks
about Hunter in your reply to someone at SternFanNetwork.com,
that's why I asked this, being as how I am a big, big, big
Hunter fan myself -hahaha!) |
| Dick
Delicious: LSD is my favorite drug. Pot, beer,
Jaugermiester, blow, and Xanax are steady staples of my drug
diet. I love HST. I write a lot for our site and I find it
hard not to imbitate him. I write a lot for our website and
I find his style hard not to try and emulate. He's a genius.
|
| Woots:
Who would you like to thank or tell to get fucked for helping
or not >helping you guys as a band get to where you are
today? |
|
|
| Dick
Delicious: I would like to tell Atlantic
Pacific Entertainment to get fucked - they fucked us hard.
All the cops that have made our lives miserable can get fucked.
We'd like to thank our hardcore fans, they are the reason
that we keep doing this. |
| Woots:
Your names are very clever, who came up with these and do
they help you get some stank on your hang low, in other words,
do these names get you lots of pussy? |
| Dick
Delicious: Ahh, we've got a shitload of them we
wrote down a long time ago. The way we go through drummer
that list will run short soon. I do get a decent amount of
pussy, but I wouldn't credit most of it to being in the band.
I'm a mutha' fuckin' mac! |
Woots:
What do you see in the future for Dick Delicious and
the Tasty Testicles?
Dick Delicious: Who
know man.we've been at this shit for 10 years. We just go
a nice break from Howard, which really makes us bigger than
we ever have been now. We wanna try and follow up and play
a lot of the cities that air the Stern Show, while people
still remember, and we've got a new CD already written that
we need to figure some way to get the fucker out.
Doc: Thanks guys. I have had the chance to listen to Dick's music for the last few weeks and I have to say I have really enjoyed it. Sounding like a cross between the Beastie Boys and Pantera on many songs it's the subject matter for me that makes Dick stand tall. How could you not enjoy songs like, Waking up in a Pool of Vomit and Dirty Needles, Safe Sex Don't stop Crabs, Crusty Panties, Masturbating for a Brighter Tomorrow, My Back Always Hurts Cause My Dicks so Heavy, Hit me with your Wet Twat, and other songs full of great lyrics like: "I wish I was a tampon up inside a stripper
Cause then I'd get the pussy and I wouldn't have to tip her",
"Sounds a great idea and the only thing to spoil it is when she pulled me out and flushed me down the toilet". |
|
...and I just simply LOVE their look. You know, I seriously think I should be named honorary member of this band. I mean, come on, this is my kind of music and I already got the mask. Ladies and gentlemen: Dick Delicious, the Tasty Testicles and an Asshole. Has a nice ring to it don't you think? April 16th, 31st Street Pub, Pittsburgh. SEX,DRUGS, ROCK AND ROLL AND MASKS!!!! Just try and keep me off that stage!!! Like I mentioned the band and their booking agent had a bit of a falling out since their Stern appearance and Dick released a statement on the matter. Until next time, remember as always, " I love you for your pussy." |
|
|
