It's hard to believe that it has been six years since I first came in contact with today's featured Shrine inductee, but that is exactly how long it has been. Six years ago I ordered a manuscript that he promoted on the Howard Stern show. I ordered a copy and asked if he would sign it for me for the Shrine, my tribute to Howard and the Show.  I was pleased when the package arrived  to find the manuscript, a couple of really cool pics of him in his running outfit (women's clothing, stockings, and high heels)……but no autograph. Damn, he must have forgotten. A  few short weeks later, however,  I received something else in the mail. I still don't know if it was planned, or if it happened by chance, but I received a letter from the author of the manuscript apologizing for all the errors in it.….and at the bottom of this letter he signed:  Sincerely yours, Elegant Elliott Offen. Hahaha  Success! Nice!

     A lot has happened with my hobby since then. This year alone movies about the Shrine were made and submitted to the Howard Stern film festival.  Howard Shrine: The Book was reported to have found a spot on Howard Stern's personal coffee table. Howard Shrine: The message board is considered to be one of the top Stern boards,  not by the fans only any longer, but by the Stern show staff as well. Listen to this clip from the Stern show a few weeks ago. We added some great members this year, one by the name of IHeartNY. You may know IHeartNY from her appearances on the Bubba the Love Sponge show on Sirius Radio, Howard 101. Here is a clip of her last appearance. IHeartNY has been a great addition to the Shrine family of broadcasters. Someone else very special also joined recently. Yup, the gangster himself, Elegant Elliott Offen. How cool is that?  IHeartNY and Elliott have become friends at the Shrine and he sent her a copy of his newest project, his DVD entitled, 'Violet Dehumanizes Elegant Elliott Offen'. I thought maybe it would to cool to see if she would write a review for this column and she was happy to oblige. IHeartNY also managed to get a short phone interview with the elegant one.

Enjoy!!

Review of  “Violet dehumanizes Elegant Elliott Offen” by IHeartNY
          The title of this DVD really DOES say it all. The Elegant one certainly endures suffering at the hands of 2 of his favorite ladies, and surrenders himself totally to their methods of discipline. Although some of the scenes are disturbing, I was spellbound by the slapping, spanking and total humiliation torture of Elegant Elliot Offen. I was fascinated by his criminal background, including kidnapping allegations, and the story told about it. Elliot managed to elude the law for years and one still wonders what prior activities are still benefiting him today. The video is worth watching for this information alone. Elliot graciously allowed cameras into one of his residences. He has a gorgeous collection of crystal and glass objects, tastefully displayed. His collection of gold and diamonds are also beautifully displayed on his fingers, and around his neck. Elliot has mastered everything from fitness, to racketeering, to intricate dance movements. Watching him running through the streets of Manhattan, and Las Vegas showed his infatigable energy. I found myself envious at the ease in which he performed his dancing technique, as I imagine many women would. He has long hard muscular legs that are the result of his workout routines. The intimate sex scenes with Elliot and his lady friends did not leave much to the imagination. It also did not disappoint. He took all punishment like a man, and came back for more, which he got. And Elliot certainly knows how to please a woman, and to dole out some light punishment of his own. He does indeed have heart shaped testicles, and is VERY well endowed. And he loves pretty ladies. On a personal note, I would have liked to see Elliot engaged in actual sex with these beautiful ladies. That, unfortunately, is left to my imagination. Perhaps the next DVD will fulfill that wish. IHeart the Elegant one

IHeartNY: In the video, you don't say what happened to the child you kidnapped. What did happen to her?

Elliot: Good question...we were pinched. She went to a shelter, and then eventually went back to her mother. (Elliot's first wife)

IHeartNY: I felt the only thing missing in your DVD was you having ACTUAL sex with Apryl. Why didn't you have sex with her on camera?

Elliot: Apryl is a square. She was afraid of losing her job. She is prudish, and conservative, and has only had a few partners. I had to get on my knees, and beg her to let me put my tongue in her anus. She did it for her love of Elliot. Apryl, my love.

(We were discussing his fabulous collection of crystal and Murano glass, and I told him it was beautifully displayed, and that I loved how he brought pieces out for the camera. He told me a story about Apryl taking him to Barbados for 3 days in 2002. The trip cost between $5 and $8 thousand dollars. As they were shopping in the downtown area, he saw a crystal dolphin, weighing approximately 80 pounds. He advised Apryl that he didn't have much scratch on him, and could she purchase the dolphin and he would repay her upon their return to the US. The dolphin cost $10,900. Apryl bought it for Elliot as a gift. )

Elliott then turned the tables on me, and asked me a few questions.

Elliot: Was the DVD everything you expected? Was there a part that was more or less than you expected?

IHeartNY: I was actually impressed with the story about your criminal past. That was more than I expected to see. On the next DVD, can we get a close-up on the beautiful diamond and gold jewelry you were wearing?

Elliot: If you had to choose between my dick, my heart shaped testicles, or my crystal collection, which would you choose?

IHeartNY: I would choose your dick, because then I could look at your crystal collection whenever I wanted. If I chose your crystal, I could only look at your dick.

Doc: I  also asked Elliott to talk about his other new project, his new T-Shirts on sale now, and here is what he had to say...

Elliot: LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE GOODS-THAT IS GANGSTER TALK FOR PRODUCTS!!! WE GOT T-SHIRTS WITH ME IN THE JOINT-GANGSTER TALK FOR JAIL!!! AND ON THE BACK WE GOT MY PATENTED GANGSTER LINGO!!! WE GOT THE DVD "VIOLET DEHUMANIZES ELEGANT ELLIOT OFFEN AVAILABLE FOR THE FIRST TIME TO NOT ONLY THE WHOLE COUNTRY BUT THE ENTIRE WORLD-THEN WE GOT THE FAN CLUB WITH MANY VIP PERKS THE MOST FUN BEING ONCE A YEAR I WILL MAKE A PHONE CALL TO YOU OR ANYONE YOU WANT!!! YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOUR EX-WIFE AND CALL HER A FUCKING CUNTFACE-YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOUR STERLILE AND FRIDGID MOTHER IN LAW AND TELL HER I'LL CRACK HER FALLOPIAN TUBES WIDE OPEN THAN YOU GOT IT BABE!!!

Doc: Thanks IHeartNY and Elliott! Great job.  Be sure and visit Elliott's website and check out the goods. If you would like to check out IHeartNY's goods visit her at her myspace, or stop by the Shrine and say hello to them both. Howardshrine.net, Home of the True Fans of Stern and best Stern fan message board in the whole wide world.

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