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by Doc, DeansPlanet.Com staff writer
Can I Have Your Autograph... / Miss Amputee
Jennifer Krum Miss Amputee 2004
12-25-04
 

The Howard Stern show has had many beauty pageants over the years, for example the recent annual Intern Beauty Pageant and the last few years, the MissButtaface pageant from Las Vegas--as well as many others. But when Howard announced this past October the newest pageant idea I just knew it was going to be shrine-worthy radio. And I was not disappointed. Stern fans were treated to the first ever Howard Stern Miss Amputee Beauty pageant, sponsored by the movie Saw…you know, this year’s smash-hit horror flick where the serial killer forces his victims to saw off their own limbs. Who the hell thought of this idea? Jesus Christ, what a sick mind!!! Haha The winner? Today’s featured shrine-inductee, Jennifer Krum, a beautiful young lady who had lost her left arm due to an automobile accident at the age of 5. Wowing the judges with her beauty, her stump, and her talents (queefing and barking like a dog) Jennifer walked away with the $10,000 prize, winning by a mere point. Adding to the insanity of the day was fellow celebrity journalist, Chaunce Hayden, who was on the panel of judges because of his reported absolute love for amputee women. He said that he thought Jennifer was perfect and that he wanted to stick her stump in a bad place. Haha This didn’t surprise me, considering this is the same guy who did an entire internet radio show with a dildo where the sun don’t shine. Anything is possible with Chaunce. But I did have to agree with him when I saw the photos of Jennifer posted on Howard’s website….she was a beauty. I had to have her. Haha Her autograph that is.

A few weeks later I contacted her through the email that I got from her brand new website, www.missamputee.com. I was happy to hear back from her later that day. She told me that she had gotten my request and that she would send me an autograph as soon as things settled down some. Apparently people from Playboy and newspapers and television stations were taking up her time. Cool. I waited. Just last week Jennifer contacted me again to get my address so she knew where to send the autograph. Outstanding!! She had kept her word. It was then that I asked if she would like to do an interview for the planet. She agreed. I offered to call her thinking that a phone interview might be easiest, she only has one arm you see. But I was amazed when I took a closer look at her website. She does a wonderful journal there. Typing is obviously not a problem for her but I so am glad that we did the phone interview. Talking to her you can tell that her beauty is not just skin deep. A very nice and sweet young lady with a very contagious laugh. I give her a 9.5. She only has one flaw as far as I can tell. She actually thinks Chaunce is normal.

Doc: Hi Jennifer. You have been on the show three times now. The first thing I would like to know is, do you any good behind the scenes stories that you can share with us fans?
Jennifer: I have to say that Ronnie is always yelling when you’re there. *Laughs* He is always yelling at somebody or somebody is always yelling at him. You can always just hear him screaming in the hallway from the green room. I think that’s funny because they say that on the air all the time but he truly is. You never know what he is mad at or what the problem is but there always seems to be something going on with Ronnie and he seems to be yelling for some reason. I also have to say that the green room there is probably the funnest place to be during the show. Everybody comes in there and kind of hang out. People walk in and you are like, "Ooh, who is that?" Famous people come in. Comedian Jim Florentine came in when I was in there and I didn’t quite know who he was but it’s fun just kind of hanging out with people there in the green room. Other that than it’s just a really fun place to be. Behind the scenes is pretty much like it is on the air though. It’s kind of crazy.
Doc: Who from the show was your favorite to meet? Howard or someone else on the show?
Jennifer: Absolutely Howard. As soon as they go to commercial break there, Howard takes off his headphones off right away and he becomes like a different person. Really, really friendly…soft spoken, nice guy. A lot different than what he is like on the air. It was really most thrilling to have met Howard.
Doc: Was there anyone you just didn’t like?
Jennifer: The first time I went I didn’t think Artie was all that nice. *Laughs*
For really no specific reason. He didn’t do or say anything that was mean or rude but he didn’t say hi or didn’t make any sort of effort to be nice. He kind of redeemed himself after that. Ronnie was kind of mean the first time we went too but the more we went the more we realized that he kind of had to warm up to people. So I wouldn’t say that there was anyone that I really didn’t like.
 
Doc: So you won $10 thousand winning the contest. Did you spend the money yet?
Jennifer: The money has already been spent on a credit card bill. My finacee and I just bought a house back in August so it kind of came in handy for that, appliances and furniture and all that stuff. We got to pay all that stuff off which is good but the money is gone. *Laughs*
Doc: Do you have a date set?
Jennifer: No, not at all. Things have been kind of crazy.
Doc: Yes, a lot has been going on. Has it affected your relationship at all?
Jennifer: No, not at all. It’s been the same as it always has. I wouldn’t say there has been any sort of difference. He has been very supportive and not bothered by all that has been going on.
Doc: What did you think when they asked you for the sash back?
Jennifer: *Laughs* Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have cared but it was Halloween and I decided that day that if I won I would use the sash and wear it to a Halloween party we were going to the following day. And when I won I was like, "YES!! I can wear this to the Halloween party and that is so cool." and then when they said, "We are going to have to take that back" I honestly thought they were kidding at first……they weren’t. I was mad because…. it really was a cheap sash that probably cost like $3 to make….but they took it back and I wanted to wear it at that party. So I was mad not because I really wanted the sash but because I wanted to wear it. But we made one anyway so it ended up ok. No biggy. *Laughs*
Doc: I read your journal and you say that you actually came up with the idea to spank yourself with your own arm. Is that right?
Jennifer: Well, not really. I called in and said I would get in the Robospanker and that I’d be the first one there but then Howard was like, "You know what we can do? We can tape her arm to the paddle. Would you mind that?" I was like no, I didn‘t care. So technically he came up with the idea but I was the one who volunteered. They had been talking that day and the day previous about who they were going to have in the Robospanker and they were awaiting its arrival and they were like would be first because nobody would and I thought for fun I would call and volunteer.
Doc: Just one other question from that appearance Jennifer. This is a tough one though. What is Howard’s middle name?
Jennifer: Oh gosh, I know that one by heart now. It’s Allen *Laughs*
Doc: So you were contacted shortly after by Playboy?
Jennifer: It was the next day. I happened to go out to dinner, me and my friend, Chaunce took us out to dinner the night before. We happened to be talking and he said, "Well, just out of curiosity, would you ever pose nude for Playboy?" And I said, "Well, for like a lot of money, a $100,000." And he was like, "Oh really?" And I said, "Who am I kidding? I would probably do it for a grand." Just joking…being funny. The next day Gary came in and said "Hey Howard, just so you know Jen said she would pose in Playboy for $1,000." And I was like oh my God I didn’t say it like that but I didn’t want to say because I went out to dinner with Chaunce and that’s what he asked me. So I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and that’s how that came up. Normally I don’t obviously think it would have. So that is kind of started that whole thing. It was ok how it all turned out but I didn’t necessarily come right out and say, "Hey, I would pose for playboy for $1,000."
Doc: I know you can’t talk about how much they did pay but it was more than that, right?
Jennifer: YES…YES!!!
Doc: How did you feel when you posed nude for the first time?
Jennifer: It’s obviously a little nerve-racking. Playboy paid me a decent amount but they didn’t pay me enough to get completely nude, so doing topless wasn’t all that bad. *Laughs*
Doc: Do you ever think about getting breast implants?
Jennifer: I am quite stingy with my money and I would never spend $5,000 to have something done like that. And just the thought of having a bag of saline solution shoved in your chest just doesn’t sound appealing to me…so, no.
Doc: What made you more nervous , the Playboy shoot, the Robospanker or the pageant?
Jennifer: It was definitely doing the Playboy shoot because of the media attention that it was getting At that point in time it was in the New York Daily news and all that kind of made it more nerve-racking. Not necessarily the shoot itself, but the whole situation. It was two days that were pretty crazy.
Doc: Talking about Chaunce, Howard thought that maybe he was a little bit too over-involved with this. Do you think that he is what they call a DEV, a devotee of the amputee?
Jennifer: No, he’s not. Chaunce is a normal guy who lives in a normal house and has this quiet life but he likes to be shocking and crazy and get people all riled up.
Doc: You stayed at his house, huh? How did that go? What was his house like? Dirty socks on the floor? Does he have a place as bad as High pitch Eric‘s apartment maybe?
Jennifer: Chaunce has a beautiful , beautiful house in the suburbs of New York City!!! It’s awesome and like I said he lives a really quiet life. Kind of like surprising knowing him. It all started with Chaunce because Hustler had contacted Chaunce to do an interview with me after I won the pageant. So that’s how him and I started talking. So we went and stayed at his house and it was alarmingly normal. And I got to ask him about all the ridiculous things he does and says and really he is not even a devotee. He just kind of played that role.
Doc: So you think he played that role just to get on as a judge?
Jennifer: Totally, Totally !!! That is what I think is so funny about him.
Doc: Yeah, he said on the air that he wanted to lick your stump. He didn’t try anything like that when you stayed at his house?
Jennifer: *Laughs* He explained it in a good way. I wouldn’t call myself one of those but I see people for who they are and something like that doesn’t bother me. He’s like, call me what you want. He is an alarmingly normal person. It’s so difficult on the air to hear him talk like he does and actually know how he is. He really is a good guy.
Doc: So are you still in contact with him?
Jennifer: Not everyday, but I talk to him over email frequently.
Doc: I read that you have a degree in speech pathology. Is there anyone on show you think you could help like John the stutterer, elephant boy…. there are so many that have problems?
Jennifer: You are so right. I was going to call up last week when John the stutterer was on. I always thought about him when I was in college. They probably don’t know this but I was going tell them that if you put headphones on somebody that stutters and play real loud music to the point that they can’t hear themselves, some sort of noise in the earphones, they won’t stutter. That is something I learned in college. I thought it they wanted to hear him talk normally and not have any problems, they should do that.
Doc: That might be fun for an experiment. They actually had a speech therapist that had him talking normal. Did you see that?
Jennifer: I don’t remember that.
Doc: She was able to put him in a very relaxed hypnotic state and had him speak. When he was totally relaxed she had him speaking clearly
Jennifer: Stuttering is not an easy thing to get rid of . It is in a child but if someone continues to stutter it is almost impossible to get rid of it. People don’t even necessarily know why people stutter. But the other people it would be just a matter of having therapy sessions with them
Doc: Even with the physical problems like, cliff palette has a, you know, cleft palette haha and elephant boy has some form of cp, you could still work with people like that?
Jennifer: Yes, it’s interesting. It’s funny because I laugh so much at them making fun of it and that’s so horrible because that is what I went to school for. *Laughs*
Doc: Someone seemed to have solved Stuttering John’s problem because he doesn’t stutter at all on the Leno Show.
Jennifer: I know, it’s so funny
Doc: I guess it’s true what John use to say that being in the studio with Howard made him nervous so that is why he stuttered more. He must have a more relaxed position now.
Jennifer: That’s true.
Doc: I understand you quit your job since winning the contest. What are your plans now? Get married and continue to pursue your career in modeling? In your field?
Jennifer: That is what I am doing now, modeling. I wanted to take a break from human services for a bit because it was quite stressful doing that. But I want to do something, if not human services, something where I can help people. There are a lot of different things going on. I want to make my website a bigger, better type of thing. Maybe make some money through that and, in the meantime, pursue other jobs, whether they are in human services or elsewhere. A lot of different things going on. We’ll see.
Doc: With all this notoriety, how has it been living in your small town?
Are you getting a lot of autograph requests? Are many people coming up to you?
Jennifer: Yes, I have been getting a lot of autograph requests but when it comes to my everyday life I don’t necessarily think that people even recognize me. Maybe they do but I just don’t know or they aren’t coming up to me and saying anything. I live in a really small town in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania. Some people probably know who I am .
Doc: So you aren’t doing any appearances there?
Jennifer: No, but that is also something I am thinking about doing here in the near future possibly.
Doc: Anything else you want to talk about? I think I tried to cover as much as ….Who is the better interviewer, me or Chaunce? haha And will you stay at my house when you are in Pittsburgh?
Jennifer: *Laughs* You know what? I am not going to make any sort of judgement calls as far as that goes because I’ve only had one interview with Chaunce once and that was a long time ago …and it was under totally different circumstances because people at that point in time didn’t really know who I was or anything about me and I hadn’t done any interviews yet. He asked all the questions that pretty much set the tone for all the other questions I was asked in the future… but you have done a GOOD job of picking out questions that I have not been necessarily asked so far…um…so….
Doc: So, I am in the top two between me and Chaunce? haha
Jennifer: You have definitely done a very good job. *Laughs*
Doc: In closing, is there anything you would like to say to Howard or his fans?
Jennifer: I think I said everything to Howard I wanted to. *Laughs* I feel really lucky to have gotten this chance. For like a good 10 years I wanted to be on the Howard Stern show and show him my talents and wanted to meet him because I have watched him for so long, been a fan for so long. I am thankful for the opportunity. When I heard about the amputee pageant I knew that was my chance to actually get on and to kind of be a part of the show. Now it’s crazy to me because I have been such a big fan. That’s all. I am really thankful for all that has happened and the chance to have met him in the first place.
Doc: Thank you Jennifer. Ok, well I am going to call you tomorrow and then the day after that and then the day after that and we can just sit and chat
Jennifer: *Laughs* I hear ya. Have a great holiday. It was good talking to you.
Doc: You too Jennifer and good luck with everything
Jennifer: Thanks and hope to hear from you soon
To learn more about the beautiful Jennifer Krum, this year’s Howard Stern MissAmputee beauty pageant winner, visit her website at www.missamputee.com