Let me see...Howard, the crew, wack packers, hot chicks, porno stars... Hmmm, who else would you want in your Stern autograph collection? I GOT IT!! You got to have some phony call callers in your collection!! Today we feature one of the best in the business, telemarketers' nightmare and shrine-worthy comedian, Jim Florentine. Jim and his calls have been heard on the Stern show several times and he/they never seem to disappoint.

Jim didn't disappoint on the autograph front either. I visited his website at www.jimflorentine.com and emailed him my request for an autographed photo. He replied, "No problem, give me your address". Two weeks later, (no SASE, no hassle, no fuss) I received not just a personalized 8x10 but also a signed CD cover and sample cassette of his work with three hilarious calls. WOW!! As is my standard practice I emailed Jim a thank you when I receive his photo, just to let him know that everything arrived safely, and took the opportunity to ask him for an interview. "No problem." HOME RUN!!

Jim Florentine equals one cool guy but in the few back and forth emails while conducting the interview, something else came to mind about Jim Florentine: PROFESSIONAL, oh, and FUNNY.

Jim Floretine : I've been doing calls for years. I just started to tape them a couple of years back. I like to fuck with people; I've been doing it since I was a kid. If a telemarketer called, instead of going out to play with my friends, I would stay on the phone for a half hour and torture the person. I'm actually glad that I stayed in instead of going out and playing. I found out a few years back that two of the kids that I hung with were homos. Just think, if I didn't pick up the phone, I would be sucking a cock right now instead of doing this interview.

Doc: Who would you say was your biggest influence? Do you have a favorite phony phone caller or one call in particular (besides your own)?

Jim Floretine : It's weird, but I was never a big fan of phony phone calls. Not that I didn't think other people's stuff was funny, I just never listened to it. I'm a metal head so I would just crank Motorhead and Black Sabbath all day. But anyone that does fuck with people with phone calls, I respect. It takes a certain kind of person to be a prick on the other line and ruin someone's day. That makes me happy.

Doc: Just today, I read on the internet that the Touch-Tone Terrorists have some legal issues as a result of their phone calls. Are you familiar with the situation? What is your take on things so far? Have you run into any legal problems yourself?

Jim Floretine: My question to you is how did you score an interview with Jeff Levy? You must be a very respected journalist in the business for him to grant you an interview. Did you have to go through his agent? Just joking. I love that guy. I'm a big fan of anyone that likes to get thrown up on. Puking on somebody is always funny, even at a funeral.

Doc: How did I get an interview with Jeff? That was easy. I just had to send him a copy of a porno I had that had a puke scene in it. It's all about the puke. Puking on somebody is indeed always funny. And so are you.

Thank you Jim. Please keep us posted on any penile size change and any new developments in the Benjy Bronk mystery.

I also would like to thank Shy Fox of the TRUE FANS OF STERN for assisting me in this article and of course Dean once again for the opportunity.

For more info on Jim's Terrorizing Telemarketer CDs, free downloads, tshirts and club dates, visit:
www.Jim Florentine.com!!