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by Doc, DeansPlanet.Com staff writer
Can I Have Your Autograph... / Kidd Chris
Kidd Chris
11-24-03
 

"I made a mess....Ernie." That one line from a phoney phone call to Gary the Retard did it for me. HAHA!! This guy's got potential I thought and sure enough Kidd Chris, our featured artist and shrine inductee, has been providing great bits to the Stern show ever since. The phone prankster is perhaps best known on the show for an old call of his to Star Trek legend, George Takei. That call has not only provided the show with endless fodder, it has also brought out one of Artie's best impressions and BELIEVE IT OR NOT has even helped beam up Mr.Takei's career.... not to mention Kidd's. Launching him into the Stern stratosphere Kidd's Takei call even got him a nomination for the prestigious Howard Stern FEMMY award this year in the category of Best Phoney Phone Call. Losing to Benjy and his black girlfriend Hazel, expect Kidd to be in the hunt next year.

No phoney phone caller, at the present time, has been more creative with the art of the phoney phone call than Kidd. Using soundboards to prank Gary the Retard but this time as Gary the Retard and to call unsuspecting lovers with Gary Dellabatte's Hello Hello? soundclips, Kidd has been boldly going where no man has gone before..and I suspect that we ain't seen nothing yet. In lieu of his recent nomination I thought it would be fun to catch up with Kidd and see if he would do an interview for the planet. "No problem."I also thought it would be fun to ask some of his fellow phoney phone callers and friends to submit some questions...... and that is exactly what we did. I think it came out decent. I hope you agree.

Zolar: How long have you listened to the Howard Stern show ?
Kidd Chris: When I was in High School I would watch him on WOR TV. It was funny seeing people that looked like stoners doing a TV show! ha ha Howard wasn't on in Syracuse till 1995 I think?? I was working for Ed Levine in Syracuse radio so I didn't listen to Howard cause I was
brought up to HATE Howard!! I was fired in 1998 and I listened a lot after that, but I was a 24 year old DJ punk, and I HATED everyone with success!! And who had the most success?? Howard! I was such a young punk that I wouldn't give him credit for what he's done. This is why I understand EVERYTHING that is said about DJs being the scum of the earth!! It took me FOREVER to break the BS and come to reality! I'm hoping that I made up for it when the first thing I ever said to Howard was "Thanks for what you've done in radio." It's funny how Dave Letterman can give Johnny Carson credit and respect but radio people can't do that for Howard. It's ashame and I'm ashamed that I was a dickhead like the rest.
Zolar: What was the first thing you did that got the show's attention?
Kidd: I would say the OJ calls got their attention, but the Sulu bits are what got me the "staying power" I guess. Everyday I hear a "Sulu tirade" of some kind! ha ha
Zolar: What do you think was the funniest thing you have ever done on the show?
Kidd: Man, I dunno. I like my remake of Staind. I did "I'm a pedophile." I laugh at slow meaningful songs destroyed with creepy lyrics about banging infants. But people seem to like the Sulu Dance.
Zolar: How do you feel about Robin's weight loss ?
Kidd: I ALWAYS thought Robin was a babe and the way she looks now is
a bonus.WORD!
Zolar: Would you do the nasty with Robin?
Kidd: Straight up!
 
Zolar: I hear you had some kind of ties with Opie & Anthony. Can you tell
us what that is all about ?
Kidd: I was on after O&A and Howard in Sacramento.. They played some of my bits. They were trashing Howard and like I said before, it seemed like that was the way to be successful. But after awhile I did come to realize that he's referred to as "The King" for a reason. I did a newspaper interview and said Howard is the reason this format is here, and that's 100 percent true.
Jim Florentine: I understand you are a big Michael Mcdonald fan?
Kidd: My Dad used to listen to the Doobie Brothers and Michael McDonald when I was growing up. So I have a fondness for that awful music.
Doc: How big is your penis?
Kidd: I'll just say I've had to make up for it with my tongue.
Doc: Any good behind the scenes stories of the Stern show you can share with us fans.
Kidd: Just that all the negativity behind the show is ALL BS! Howard deserves all the credit in radio.
Doc: Who is your favorite phoney phone caller?
Kidd: I LOVE everything Florentine, Sal, Levy, and Benji have done! ALWAYS funny!! I laugh out loud cause they're all fucked up like me.
Doc: Any new projects coming up?
Kidd: I was thinking of putting out a CD of the most popular calls, but now I'm thinking of putting out a CD of calls that never aired, you know ones to people who wouldn't let the call air and what not. I have a GREAT one I did to Jeff the Drunk as Ray Romano that he didn't let them air. Whatta grump!
Doc: What is the deal with you and Norm MacDonald?
Kidd: Norm MacDonald is a comedic genuis!! I've seen Norm a couple time live and he's real and he's great!! I LOVED "Dirty Work" and meeting Artie was a fucking dream of mine! Artie and Norm, Kings of Comedy!
RevBob: What prank call do you wish you could have gotten permission to play on the air that the person wouldn't give the ok to?
Kidd: The one you and I did to Yucko, but Yucko didn't want it aired. ha ha Another grump! Also, I called Emanual Lewis as a Fox TV Executive asking him to be on a show called "Who wants to Marry a Lil' Black Muther Fucker." ha ha He didn't want it aired... bitch!
Craig Gass: Do you ever feel guilty after a prank call?
Kidd:I don't feel guilty! FUCK THEM! No kidding. I don't do calls where I would make fun of a family member dying or anything like that. It's all ball breaking.
Doc: Thanks guys. I think we covered it all. And thank you Kidd. Is there anything in closing you would like to say?
Kidd: I've never smoked pot AND I had a 16 year old dwarf neighbor tried to get me to touch his cock when I was like 7 years old. True story.
Doc: Wha Wha What??? OH MY!!! I think I will leave the rest of that story for Howard.