I was skimming the Stern message boards looking for contact information, like I do on most mornings, when I spotted a message made by someone calling himself greenlantern1973. He was promoting someone that I have been wanting to talk to for a very long time: the beautiful and very talented porn star and shrine inductee Leeanna Heart. Oh my God!!! I just had to contact him and see if I could get an interview with Leeanna. Besides being a super guest on the show and one of my favorite adult film stars, she is responsible for providing some of my most prized shrine possessions. But, perhaps more importantly, she also held the key to a mystery that has been talked and talked about on the Stern boards for close to 3 years now.
Although the sexy Leeanna has been on the Stern show a few times her most memorable appearance was the Pornoween contest. On Halloween morning 2000 Leeanna was hidden somewhere in New York City and Howard gave out clues on the air to her whereabouts. The first person to find her and put his hand on her shoulder and say, "hoochie, hoochie give me the choochie" would be declared the winner and awarded the prize, a "date" with Leeanna. The first clue: "You will find a lot of implants there." Within minutes a listener, Seth, was the first person to show up at the secret location, Scores, and claim his prize. Wearing an unflattering bologna bra and a bikini bottom made out of a Cornish hen, Leeanna was a good sport about it all and was prepared to give up the coochie. Only one problem, Seth wasn’t. A few days later Seth announced that due to pressure from his family he had to turn down his prize. Howard and the Stern fans were very disappointed to say the least. Seth backing out, however, opened the door for someone who was just dying to get on the show. Someone else was in the hunt that morning. That someone was someone that I had been talking to on the web almost everyday: fellow superfan Joey Boots. Getting to Scores just minutes behind Seth, Joey offered to take his place when Seth backed out and Howard and Leeanna agreed. HAHAHAHA!!! An  outstanding shrine opportunity was at hand. Joey agreed to get me a signed photo from her and maybe a few pubes for the shrine.
A few days before the big event, there was discussion on the show about girls wiping their vaginas with panties and selling them to horny guys on the web. The caller referred to this practice as Wiping the Veal. Hmmm..That gave me an idea…."Hey Joey if I send you this t-shirt to wear on your "date" would you please wipe Leeanna’s veal and return it so I can include it in the shrine?" "Sure thing brother, send it up." HAHAHA!! And that is what we did. The day of the big event Joey called and left the message I was anxiously awaiting-- mission complete--and shortly after I not only received in the mail from Joey the t-shirt with the Leeanna veal smear but also a signed photo from her, notes from her and him on the hotel stationary and the actual condom used on the "date." Oh my God!!!! Simply incredible. It was by dumb luck that Leeanna’s photo was an odd size. It fit perfectly over a hidden compartment in the shrine I had made out of the old x-ray window space in the wall. And the condom would go perfect there hidden behind her picture. Almost like a tabernacle. It was a happy time at shrine headquarters.
What followed next has been fodder for the Stern message boards ever since. Not long after receiving the memorabilia, my troubles with some of the Stern fans on the web began and Joey was forced to take sides. He took theirs. Over a year after receiving the t-shirt, the prankster posted something that shocked and delighted the Stern internet community. Although he originally claimed that he wiped her veal as I asked him to, he now reported that he didn’t do it afterall He explained that he thought my request was so odd that he never even approached Leeanna with the idea but instead, as a prank, masturbated in the shirt a few times before returning it to me. To embellish the story even further, he added that I told him that I, myself, had  masturbated while holding the shirt and sniffing the sweet aromas of Leeanna. HAHAHA!!! Never happened. But, despite the truth, all of the jizz-sniffer comments and pics began. My buddy had lied… But the big question was when? Then or now?? To be honest, I always knew that he wiped the veal as he originally said because he confided in a mutual friend of ours that that was exactly what he did. Besides I had the shirt. I knew the truth of what was on it all along. The big lie that followed was just that a big lie by one of the best pranksters on the web but how to prove it? Leeanna herself knew the truth and when the "green lantern" gave me her cell phone number it was another very happy day at Shrine headquarters. Finally, the truth would be known. Without further ado my recent phone interview with one of the sweetest ladies I have ever spoken to with the most contagious laugh going.
The Interview ---> |
