The story that just won't die: Who grabbed whose nutsack first? It was the first day of the Howard Stern Vegas Shows and, like in past events, whenever wack packers and the like assemble, something crazy is bound to happen. This time was no exception with Melrose Larry Green and Joey Boots toe to toe and Nicole Bass sandwiched inbetween. No, not in some strange menage a trios from bizarro world. But Nicole was getting double penetration alright with Joey Boots on one side screaming, "Melrose grabbed my nutsack. Melrose grabbed by nutsack." and Melrose on the other vehemently denying the charges. When brought to his attention, Howard, however, didn't seem too concerned about the whole display and quickly moved on. Days later and back on the air in New York even then he said that he just didn't care---a non-story. But it has been several months since the incident and both ball grabbers are still talking about it on the web. First Melrose commented about it on his website:

Melrose Update May 7th
" Joey Boots is a total liar and I have the proof! In some ways, I feel sorry for Joey Boots. He suffers from a severe mental disability, and he is not all there. When I was in Las Vegas last week, he started everything. I never grabbed his privates. I never even touched him at first. Joey Boots knocked off my Laker cap, Joey Boots tore up one of my signs, and then he hit me twice. ALL OF THIS WAS HIS DOING! Naturally, I defended myself from this attack and I did manage to get in a few blows of self-defense, before Nicole Bass intervened. And K.C. and Ronnie the Limo Driver had ME thrown out of the casino! Why didn't I get an opportunity to state my side of what happened? How dare I get thrown out when it was Joey Boots who started the whole thing. I demand an apology from Ronnie Mund. Video of the entire incident exists, and it will prove that Joey Boots started the whole thing .Folks, Joey Boots weighs about 350 lbs; Nicole Bass is stronger than Mike Tyson. I am 165 pounds of lean Jewish muscle! This guy Boots was desperate for airtime. If I ever touches me again, I will again exercise my rights of self-defense When Howard sees the videotape, Melrose Larry Green will be totally vindicated. That is all I have to say about the matter."

This prompted a response from Joey Boots on his home board The SternFanNetwork:
My response to Larry's sexual assault on me. It was the first day of taping for The Show in Vegas and I was in the crowd with an assortment of Wack Packer's and others. Standing to my left was Nicole Bass and Larry Greenblatt aka Melrose Larry Green, douchebag. During The Show he was yelling at everyone in the crowd to shut up and stop yelling and trying to direct the crowd as if he worked for E!. When I told him to shut the fuck up he protested saying that I didn't know how hard it was to run a radio show and that we were fucking it up. I told him he didn't know either and that his radio show in LA, that he pays $500 dollars an hour to be on, doesn't count. He seemed really upset and started shouting profanities in my ear such as, "you stupid nigger, you don't know shit". Next thing I know is that he is grabbing my crotch, getting a handful of my balls and schlong and laughing hysterically like a madman. I turned and smacked him in the head causing him to look like one of those bobble head dolls you get at the ballpark. Nicole Bass sprang in to action and stepped in between the both of us and kept me from inflicting further damage on the guy. Before anyone could do anything further, Ronnie, who I assume saw the whole incident, grabbed Melrose and had the psycho molester thrown out. The next couple of days I see Larry walking all over the hotel and casino with signs about me having sars and needing a tampon and I got a chuckle from it. I even saw him by the pool and so as to not cause an incident I even shook his hand that grabbed my balls when he apologized for doing it, saying to me, "I couldn't resist....I don't know what came over me but it will never happen again." I took this as being sincere but obviously I was wrong as I guess he saw this as an opportunity to do some schtick.

Cut to- Stuttering John And Friends Comedy Show. I was a guest of some of the comics and so was sitting up in the VIP area on the balcony and outside the hallway from the dressing room. Melrose came over and spotted myself and Zolar enjoying the show. He started ragging on Zolar something about not paying strippers for lap dances the night before and then turned to me and like a schizo changed the apologetic attitude he had earlier at the pool and started yelling about how I need to tell Howard and everyone that he didn't grab my balls. I told him to get lost as he was ruining the show. The next thing I know is that this fucker comes back with 6 huge black security guys and says to them that Stuttering John does not want us at the show or the hotel. These security guys only know that Larry is on the comedy show and don't know Zolar and me from shit so they take his word for it. Zolar and I get escorted out of the hotel and I start fuming and cursing. I call Doug Goodstein's cell and tell him what happened and he is getting the head of security to meet Zolar and I in front of the hotel to let us back in. Before this guy comes out I see John who is exiting the hotel and going across the street for his appearance at Club Paradise. I tell him quick what happened and told him that Larry invoked his name to have us thrown out. John sincerely apologized, even though he had nothing to do with it and told us to meet him at Paradise so he could take care of us.....John's a righteous dude. I knew John never said that shit and I was really pissed at Melrose now, so when I saw him two minutes later walking out of the hotel I turned my back to him as he walked in my direction. Zolar did the countdown and right when he was next to me, my twenty two ounce beer slipped and spilled all over Melrose's red smoking jacket. The guy freaked out and called over security and then he saw two Las Vegas cops and called them over. He tried getting me arrested for spilling a beer on him and the cop explained that it wasn't illegal to spill a beer on someone and then Melrose started dropping names and he pulled the comedy flyer out from his bag with his name on it to supposedly give him some sort of credibility with the police all the while yelling that he was a headliner at the hotel and that I assaulted him with a beer. The cop was getting pissed at Melrose's attitude and finally told him to get lost or he would arrest him. It was the funniest goddamn thing I saw all week. Dan The Song Parody Man took a picture of the cop yelling at Melrose and then Zolar and I posed with the cops for a pic. The security guy from The Hard Rock came over and apologized and let us back in to the hotel after getting word that Melrose scammed them. Seeing Larry later at the strip club I said to him as soon as I saw him to let it go and the club owner even had to tell him to cut his shit out or he would throw him out. The owner came up to me and told me to relax and have a great time, enjoy the food trays and free drinks and then John came up and gave me a few hundred in funny money. Melrose couldn't let it go though and just kept telling anyone that would listen about his side of the story and passing me and saying shit like, "I hope your plane crashes", "you're a fucking nigger" and "you ruined my whole week". I couldn't even get a lap dance in peace.......btw, I never saw Larry get one lap dance.....he just kept talking to guys and ignoring the naked women walking around. I feel sorry for this pathetic little man and I feel a need to respond to his inaccurate remarks concerning the incident.

Melrose in a later update on his site added: I will be thoroughly vindicated. Do you all remember the fiasco in Las Vegas, when this goon Joey Boots accused me of grabbing his nutsack? Did you ever hear my side of the story on the air? Did you know that Joey Boots made the whole story up? Gary Dell'Abate viewed the video tape and saw that Joey Boots attacked me; I was just standing there minding my business. There is nothing worse than being accused of something you didn't do.

Last week I spoke to Gary Dell'Abate, and he agreed that Joey Boots is a total liar. He saw the video from Las Vegas, which proves what I have been saying all along. Joey Boots hit me first and I never grabbed his nutsack. Ronnie the Limo driver owes me an apology for throwing me out of the Hard Rock!

And the controversy continues..


Most Stern fans are familiar with the legendary Wack Packer and sign maker, Melrose Larry

image from THSMB.com

Melrose Larry Green was also a early contributor to the shrine. No shrine to Howard would be complete without him included. He has brought many, many laughs to the show with his hardwork taping shows, his on the street interviews, and his quirky personality all the while spreading the word, hey this Howard Stern guy is pretty good. Melrose’s autographs is one of the few autographs that I have actually paid for but, to me, it was money well spent. I contacted Larry via his email and ordered one his books with the request that he sign the cover for me, the classic picture of Larry being arrested during his OJ "MURDERER, MURDERER" outbust. No problem. I think it was $12.00. An autograph from a Stern Legend and a fun, if not, interesting book to read. Good deal. When this who grabbed whose nutsack first broke I must say I became a bit more intrigued than Howard. The incident brought up a more important question for me: Who is lying? Doing interviews with many Stern celebrities, I have had several reports of Joey Boots telling "stories" about them on the air and on the web. I know he is known as a prankster and bending the truth as they say is all part of the game but when does the pranking end and the lying begin? And does it matter? Does anyone else really care? I didn’t have the answers for such questions but I thought this would be a good opportunity to contact Melrose again, this time for an interview, and maybe get to the bottom of things, if possible. To be honest, I was shocked when Melrose emailed me back and said to send him the questions and even more surprised when he actually sent me the answers back. Many things have changed since this interview a few months ago. His relationship with the show, his relationship with Stuttering John, and the significance of the Vegas nutsack grabbing not to mention his newest projects like writing for newsmax.com and working on a new book about the Clintons, coming soon. Speaking of writing article I just started putting this one together when out of the blue another update was reported on Melrose’s website. (joner1 aka winst aka self-proclaimed Stern show insider aka faeg has been keeping everyone abreast of the developments on the message boards). The story that just won’t die took another turn. Melrose in his latest update on 9-3 accused Joey Boots and his alleged lies in Vegas as the start of his banning from the show. Wha..Wha…What??? And after hinting around who were the bad guys on the show in previous updates Melrose finally named Stuttering John and Gary Dell’Abatte as the culprits.

Melrose Update Sept 3rd
I don't want to get into a long discussion why I am not on the Stern show anymore. I will say that I regret ever getting involved with Stuttering John. He is a no good SOB, who doesn't deserve to be where he is. I honestly feel he poisoned me in Howard's eyes. I hope Howard wakes up one day and realizes what a user he is. Howard has always been good to me. Stuttering John sabotaged my comedy act. He would be nothing without Howard Stern. I am sorry that I am no longer on the show, but in reality I have lost very little. The big losers are the Stern show and the listeners. I was working for free, providing all sorts of great clips and stories for the show. I promoted the show- for free- for 10 years- all over LA and the country I am hard at work on my second book- this one deals with the crimes of Bill and Hillary Clinton. I have to promote the book. To Howard Stern, I say thank you for 10 great years. I am sorry that your staff- primarily Stuttering John and Gary Dell'Abate have been such dicks to me. But believe me, neither of those guys ever liked me. Howard, you should really clean house. A lot of guys around you use you to make a fortune of money. If those guys worked 1% as hard for your show as they do for their own careers, your show would reflect it. I refuse to be on the show for 3 seconds every 4 months. If the Stern show doesn't want to use my talents, I will go where I am wanted. The sad thing is I know my biggest fan on the show was Howard, but I refuse to put up with the assholes on his staff anymore. Melrose Larry Green P.S. Joey Boots- you started it all with your lies in Las Vegas. I will be fine- remember John and the others- what goes around, comes around. I was thrilled to hear that Stuttering John was fired from his show. Perhaps Howard will finish what Chuck Roast started.

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