Are you an uncircumcised, non tattooed Adam? If you are, there is a very interesting chick by the name of J.C. Nouveaux looking for you.  J.C., who founded a very unique church in the state of Montana, and who is better known to Howard Stern fans as Misty the Prostitute, recently made the long car ride from her home to the big apple to visit Howard by visiting truck-stops all along the way, “spreading“ her gospel.  I visited her website after her appearance, and emailed my request for an interview and autograph. I was delighted when she wrote me back, and gave me her phone number. I was even more delighted when I spoke with JC on the phone. Call me crazy, but JC might be my favorite new guest of the Stern show.  I think she is funny, has a good sense of humor, likes sex, seems to be a caring and loving person, and is a bit on the crazy side. Everything you want in a prostitute, in a Stern show guest, and, most importantly, in your Messiah. Yes, JC, thinks she is the new Messiah, with a new bible, and she is ready to change religion in America forever….and make a few bucks getting laid in the process. Before our interview, JC sent me a newspaper from her hometown that featured her on the cover, and I have to give a hand to the guy who wrote it, Jason Weiner. Yes, Weiner. Haha Maybe JC gave this guy a “hand” too because I think he did an amazing job with this “piece.” Check out Mr. Weiner's article and then come on back for my interview with JC., transcribed as best I could. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Doc: Tell us about your religion.

Misty: My religion is based on the fact that God is flawed, because he is not married. He doesn't have a wife, so I am operating under that assumption.

Doc: One of the commandments in your religion is that people that have premarital sex have to pay $200.

Doc: Anyone besides Howard that you would like to have sex with? You want to have sex with Howard right? You have a crush on him.

Misty: I have a crush on him. That doesn't mean I want to have sex with him.  I just want to chat with him.

Doc: Is there anybody you would just like to get down and dirty with, like Gary, or have you seen Richard Christy's penis? It's  pretty big.

Misty: Will is sexy. I give Will an A on the sexy scale. Artie's voice has always been sexy to me. Artie could get me just by his voice. I'd do all of them. Haha except for Robin. She wouldn't want me anyways.

Doc: Robin? Oh, you don't like girls?

Misty: No, I don't like girls either.

Doc: Is their a minister that takes care of the women in your congregation at your church?

Misty: The women in my church are prostitutes.

Doc: Oh that's right. The women don't pay. It's just the men that pay for premarital sex.

Doc: Thank God for that JC, and thank you for an awesome interview. Good luck with everything.
I hope to see you many, many times on the Stern show in the future.  JC is also sending me a pair of panties, and a few other goodies for her shrine display. I hope she wore them first, and blessed them with her holy waters. I will take some pics and add them to this article when they arrive.  And be sure and visit her website, when it's back up.  Let's go JC and Dean, let's get busy kids…and take lots of pictures.

Audio link to interview: http://www.howardshrine.com/media/JC.mp3

----Sure. Send me a fax number. What name should I sign? My birth name, my married name, or my legal name? Can I also write a physical threat to that old, ugly, fake, plastic, skin  cancerous, mildly retarded coke-snorting bitch janice dick~in~son? I think we should face each other on the Sybian with our hands tied behind our back and see who can knock the other one off first. The vibration will merely be a distraction. Montana is the land of cowboys and mechanical bulls. I'd probably win that match. Has anyone tried that yet? I think those guys would think that was hot. I could wear a skimpy outfit. I could autograph a copy of last week's Missoula Independant, just for the intimidation factor. There's a rather scary picture of me in it. Maybe you should send me a post office box.

----Ok, I'll send something out today. go ahead and blog my challenge to ms. dick~in~son, and set up an interview. I don't know how you do those, over email or over the phone? Anyway, let me know what you need from me, I'll send something out. I can't think of  anything in particular to talk about, but I'll come up with something. I guess I am more entertaining when someone challenges me with their own questions about what's in their  minds would qualify me as the messiah, one thing I need to do to fulfill messianic prophecies is to have lots cast (gambling) for my undergarments. I could send you a pair of panties if you have any ideas for that. I got the same thing on my site, but I have lots of panties. I mainly want people to take me sirius~ly about being the messiah. I've put a lot of thought into it, no other girl is stepping up to the job, and I am quite sure the next messiah is supposed to be a girl. Didn't anyone watch the DaVinci code? But once I stepped up, all people want to do is fuck me, or send me to a shrink. but fuck 'em. If my church doesn't get popular until 60 years after I die, at least then we can start the anarchy. We are raising a nation of pussies, I'll send you some documents, Church terminology, and such things if any of that interests you. Howard seems completely uninterested in the written material I have sent him, so, I'll just have to deal with what he throws at me while I develop my radio personality on the show. I guess that's the smartest move. Feel free to post whatever statements I have made to you on your site, and let me know whatever else you might need from me. Thanks for your help!

----I sent off a copy of the cover story of the local paper today. If you want to do a phone interview my number is (XXX)XXX-XXXX. I don't know if I have a "fan base" at the Stern show, and I don't know what people want to know about me, so you'll have to come up with the questions. I would like to be back on Stern by October, but I haven't spoken with the producers. I have johns all across the country that I could access to fund the trip, so hopefully it won't be as hard as last time. I think the stern show should pay the guests he abuses severely --like myself for example, but I guess that's how the Jews roll! Also that young boy you heard about who helped me take care of brie, and drive my car is not gonna work for a travel companion next time. I'm gonna have to bring the nanny with me. Her schedule is more flexible now that I finally talked her into being a stripper, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with her physically-- she blows Paris Hilton away. I'll bring her with me next time, and you'll be asking for her autograph next! It will be a good show! I just gotta work out the details.

----Dude, I'm going to admit to having a sirius crush on Howard Stern. I have had for a long time. If you read the Independent article (available online) you will see I gravitate towards men who treat me like shit, and the shittier they treat me, the more I want them. I think it's because I see them as a project--a challenge to try to make him be nice. I think that is one of the things women are for, ‘cause god knows men don't really know how to do that on their own. at least from what I can ss. And he didn't exactly treat me like shit, either. He defended me at the right times. Sort of came to my rescue when I was dying on national radio air. In the first interview, I was asking why I couldn't be listened to. then he said "nice shoes" as if to allow me the opportunity to confirm or deny the fact that the reason that I am not listened to is because I don't listen, and I responded with an appropriate, "thank-you" in order to pass that test, and then continued with my statement. when Janice made the ridiculous statement, (mildly retarded hag) that she wasn't judging me, he came to my rescue and pointed out the obvious, thereby putting her in her place. I liked many of the things that he said to me. I was genuinely hurt very deeply when he insulted me during the first show. When I cried, he felt bad for me. He made me stop crying and made me laugh.