Siobhan: Most Memorable Appearance for me was the 1986/87 Howard Stern New Year's Show and Beauty Pageant at Madison Square Garden. The show sold out a half hour before tickets went on sale (this was before internet ticket sales too!!). I spent weeks preparing for the show. I bought a used wedding gown for $20.00, had it tailored to fit me, had a veil and tiara made (I guess I really, really had a crush on Howard back then), I made a bouquet out of sanitary napkins and tampons, borrowed a designer bathing suit from a girlfriend and wore my hunting knife with it like Ursula Undress in the Bond movie except I had a giant Sheepshead Bay Pepperoni Snausage stuffed in the crotch of it which I pulled out and started hacking pieces off of it to throw to the audience like I threw my tampon bouquet to them as well.

The Talent portion consisted of me playing "Tequila" on my saxophone in my wedding gown whilst doing the "Pee-Wee" Herman dance in my high heels! Needless to say I won the beauty pageant and became the First Miss Howard Stern 1987 complete with sash and tiara. I also got a $500.00 check for my troubles as well and got to take one of the runners up home with me. She cried when I tried to fuck her, though, so nothing happened. I just consoled her all night.

Siobhan: NO!

Catties and Bast will Bless You All with Good, Happy Lives!!!

Siobhan: When I first signed onto SFN mutt was all friendly and nice to me and gave me VIP status and all that so when I went to the Ladies Forum to log on I couldn't get in without an "invite" so I started asking around to see if I could be invited in. One of the women  private messaged (PM) me that she'd ask for me.  So a bunchof time goes by and no invitation so I'm thinking "Oh boy, it smells like bigotry!" so I PM this woman again and she swears up and down that "NO, it's NOT bigots, it's just that the other women want to get to know you better." So I think, "that sounds reasonable enough."  So even more time elapses so I finally PM mutt and ask him what's up with the Ladies Forum and he says it must be a fuck up cause I should have access to it so he clicks me on. So I log on and spend some time in there reading threads to catch up and familiarize myself with everyone and "Lo and Behold!" I find out that I was being kept out of the forum by a group of fat, slovenly, bigoted sows who were bashing not only me but any other woman on the site who was better looking than or more sexually free than the sows were. So I notified mutt of the douchebaggery and blatant disregard of the rules of his site, No Bashing Women or VIP's and he totally insults me for bringing it up. It turns out that pumpkin head's just as big a bigot as the human shit on the "Sow's Sty"! Plus he can't or won't enforce the rules of his site fairly across the board.  So I got really sick to my stomach about having my name and presence associated with a bunch of douchebag bigots and had to bail so I could sleep at night.  I remembered that Doc had called me about coming on his site and he had seemed very nice and respectful so here I yam!

Doc: Have you had any encounters with the opposite sex since KDK?

Siobhan: I've been on a few dates, but no sex yet.

Doc: Tell us about your experience on craigslist.

Siobhan: I went to college and studied Fine Art, Painting and Drawing. In spite of the fact that I am quite skilled and talented as a painter in all mediums and styles, I have had no success in finding my way to the money trough of the Fine Art Market. I found, much to my dismay, that being skilled and talented in one's craft is not as important as having a trust fund or relatives in the business to open doors for you. Very few people of means are willing to invest money in an unknown artist regardless of how gifted that individual may be (especially since the Bush family destroyed America's economy and standing as an international cultural center!).  As a result, I discovered that I get paid more money to do menial labor jobs than I do to produce artwork. As I have no trust-fund or Patron to support my manufacture of paintings, I have spent my life scrabbling for any off the books jobs I could get. I've worked as a veterinary assistant, artist's assistant, studio manager, artist's model, construction laborer, scenic carpenter, census taker, Cat sitter, substitute teacher, graphic artist, moving woman, stripper/dancer, short order cook, session musician, ghostwriter, illustrator, house painter, etc., etc.

With every job, however, I would become quite miserable after a while because they led nowhere and had no effect on helping my career as an artist. All I really want to do now is paint, but without money and in bad health, it is practically impossible to put enough time together to get any serious work done.

Siobhan: I recently talked to Mike about that. He said he's waiting until he moves to a bigger place before he sets it up, because he doesn't want to go through all of the trouble of unpacking it, setting it up and hooking it up only to have to take it all down and repack it again when he moves. I agree with him. I'd do the same thing.

Oranjuicejones: What is a typical day in your life?

Siobhan: I wake up from very interesting, blissful and bizarrely realistic dreams surrounded by Warm, Furry, Beautiful, Purring Catties who are all snuggling up against me and on top of me, hugging and touching me with their adorable little hands and feet, their beautiful, fuzzy, snoring faces pushed warmly against my cheek.  As I enter consciousness, though, the pain kicks in. My spine feels like it's been broken in two at my waist line and it feels like a chinchilla is gnawing on my spinal cord. I literally scream out loud in pain as I stretch my back out while lying prone on the bed. The Sweet Catties scamper off of me. I grab onto a piece of furniture by the bed and begin pulling my limp body up into a sitting position using my arms because I can't use my abs or back muscles without nails of pain shooting through them. Still, every movement makes me scream again and again. I reach over to my purse, hanging by my bed, and fish out the bottle of 30mg Oxycodones from it. I crack open the lid and extract two of the tiny bitter pills (three if it's raining outside), pop them in my mouth and chew them up, ignoring the bitter taste. I wash them down with water from a bottle I keep in bed with me. I scream again as I lay back down on my bed again, this time in a tight fetal position to stretch out my lower back muscles. I have to pee but I must wait until the oxys kick in before I attempt standing up and walking. The Catties pile back on top of me Purrring loudly and cuddling softly to help make their Mommie feel better. It's tempting to just say fuck it and drift back into blissful unconsciousness again, but today it's not raining and I have a lot of shit I've got to do. Fifteen minutes elapse as I lie there in the fetal position, isotonically working my muscles against each other and the bones they are attached to, so that I can attempt the task of getting out of the bed.

The drugs have found their receptors in my nervous system and I pull myself up into a full sitting position, raise my arms up into the air and scream again as I stretch all my muscles from the waist up skyward as if to spew the pain out of my system like an erupting volcano.

I lurch forward, off the bed, into a bent and twisted standing position, tottering about, not from the effect of the oxycodone, but from spastic muscles in my legs and torso which haven't yet perceived the neurological messages from my brain requesting them to coordinate themselves and act in unison with each other. Screaming one more time, I stretch my entire being now in the direction of the ceiling, arms high, reaching, reaching, until I'm perfectly straight and upright on the tips of my toes stretching all the spasms and kinks out and letting the oxycondone do its work of dissolving the pain signals before they reach my brain.

I stumble over hungry Catties who form a mewling herd at my feet as I make my way to the toilet, sit down with a grunt and express the contents of my bladder. Mikey Bagels, King of the Bathroom, strolls over to me while I'm sitting on the throne and purrringly, lovingly, rubs his luxuriously furred body up and down against my bare legs.
To be continued.....

 KDK: Ask her if she regrets getting the surgery?

Siobhan: Not At ALL!! It's the best thing that ever happened in my life!!! I was BORN to PEE through HAIR!!! I absolutely LOVE having sex as a woman!! I love thinking about guys and getting all weak in the knees and wet when I see a delicious HUNK of guy on the street and I imagine his fat, hard cock sliding inside of me and his strong arms holding me!!! Shit, I'm getting wet right now just thinking about it!

KDK: Ask her if knowing what she knows now, would she do it all over again?

Siobhan: No, if it WAS possible to do it all over again, I would see to it that I was born in a perfect female body, free of all birth defects. This birth defect I was born with completely devastated my life.  But if you mean if I was born the same way again with deformed genitalia, of course I would have to do it all over again only this time I would try to get it all done in my late teens or early twenties so as not to waste my whole life in the misery of living in a deformed body.

Siobhan: Howard, I realize now that even though you broke my heart and skwunched it into the dirt and tricked me into making a porno film for you, I don't care anymore and I'm not even mad about it. You're the one who's gonna have to live with yourself about it.

Fans, Don't believe everything you hear on the radio, see on TV or read on the internet! Also remember that the only reason Howard is a Gazillionaire is because YOU ALL made him one!!
My Fans, Thank You All for Being There!! I Love You All like My Own

I can be emailed at siobhanmeow@yahoo.com and I have a web page under construction at www.katfarm.com. If anyone wants to adopt any of my cats, they should go to www.petfinder.com and search The Furry Love Kitten Kat Farm at zip code 10009. My CD's are available for $20.00 (postage & handling included) checks & money orders payable to PepG!rlz, P.O. Box 20801, NY, NY 10009. Original Artwork prices are available on request.
Siobhan