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by Doc, DeansPlanet.Com staff writer
Can I Have Your Autograph... / Tabitha Stevens
Tabitha Stevens
04-15-06
 

If you are a regular listener of the Howard Stern radio show on Sirius satellite radio, you know that Artie Lange likes to recite lines from the Godfather movies, particularly from the first two. But it is a line from the Godfather movie that no one cares about, Godfather 3, that best describes how I feel writing this article:  "Just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in.”  If you are a regular reader of my column, you also know that I have been talking about quitting for quite some time. After 6 years of interviewing Howard Stern celebrities, with Howard's move to Sirius I decided the time was right to finally call it quits. I put all of the interviews I did, together with all of the autographs and memorabilia I have collected, into a book, and called it a day. It took a year to “finish” the book, and I think it came out pretty decent. I am almost 100% done with it. Almost. Looking through it the other day, I found two more errors. I'm sure there are others. One thing I found out this past year is that it is incredibly hard to make a perfect book. Yes, it looks like I will have to do yet another revision someday. When, I‘m not sure. I'm still waiting to receive a book contract from Judith Regan in the mail. I'm also waiting for the cease and desist letter to come from Howard's lawyers. So far, I haven't heard from either party. It doesn't really matter which way it goes on the book. I had a really great time doing it, and that's what is most important to me. I would love for the fans to see it someday though, but that day is not here yet. I did recently, however, put the first 69 pages online. Please take a look, and  let me know what you think by leaving a comment. If you do take the time to download the preview, you will read in the introduction where I say that with the completion of the book, I was stopping all the interviews, and the collecting, and heading back into the shadows, just a regular listener once again. You will also find where I wrote: “I set my sights on that elusive Benjy Bronk autograph, and that hard to come by Tabitha Stevens autograph, as well as the autographs of just about everyone else associated with the Howard Stern show.” Quite a few things have happened since I wrote that line. Thanks to the help of a frequent caller to the Stern show, Eddie Sacks aka Eddie the Produce Guy, I was finally able to get that elusive Benjy autograph. And this past week, thanks to the efforts of another friend, Greenlantern, I was not only able to get an autograph from the beautiful Tabitha Stevens, I was also given the opportunity to interview her. How could I pass that up?  The answer is I couldn't. I think I am as addicted to doing this stuff as much as Tabitha is to plastic surgery. Well, since the book is technically still not complete, it looks like this crazy journey is not done yet either. I hope you enjoy this first edition of “Can I have your autograph please? The Sirius years!!!”

Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to present to you the newest inductee to the Howard Shrine, the lovely and talented, Tabitha Stevens. INTERVIEW AUDIO

Doc: You have been on Howard several times, but only a few times on Sirius, right?

Tabitha Stevens: Yes, I have been on Howard a total of four years. I have been on his show about 26 times, that's including with the move to Sirius. I physically have been on the show that many times. That is without phoners, and things like that. So, I've been on quite a few times.

Doc: How would compare the Sirius experience to old fashion radio?

Tabitha Stevens: Old fashion radio, it was a lot different, because you're not swearing. I still did crazy things on his show, which were kind of like, you had to be careful, but that was kind of fun in a sense, because you wanted to  mess with everybody. The swearing, you couldn't do it, so for years I got used to not swearing, and then when I did go on the Sirius show, I didn't know if I should swear, because I was so use to NOT doing it. Finally, it came out. But it is much different. It is a lot more open, let's say, than it was before on regular radio.

Doc: When you were on there, you rode the Sybian. How was that experience for you?

 
Tabitha Stevens: I did the Sybian with the intent of being nutty, because that's just me, I like to do crazy stuff. I went with the inserted tip, not the one that a lot of the other girls were taking, the one with the little bump on it. I decided, Nope, if we are going to do it, we are going to do it the right way, and we are going to insert it in there. I have them put it up to 100% ,with it rotating. I thought of it as being, exciting. Yeah, it was different, but did I get off?  No. I just wanted to see if I could handle the full vibration at full speed. And I don't know if Howard was disappointed about that, I hope he wasn't, but I just wanted to check it out and he was like, “Did you get off? Did you get off?” And I'm like, No. I walked funny for awhile, but that was about it. I wanted to see if I could do it. I know a lot of the girls are getting credit for, “Oh well, she had the best Sybian moment.” It was just more fun to try it the other way. I wasn't looking at it as getting off. And I was honest about it. I did tell Howard, No, I didn't do it, I just wanted to feel what it was like.
Doc: Would you ever like to go back and maybe try one of the fucking machines? Did you hear about the fucking machines?
Tabitha Stevens: I've heard about the machines, yes. And actually, yeah, I would try it. I'm pretty cool, as far as all that stuff goes. Even with some of the fans that Howard has on his show where they will do contests. I actually really do have sex with these people. Jeff the Drunk, Hello? <laughs> Screaming his head off, “I wasn't hard.” Yes, Jeff the Drunk got his dick hard, but when the condom went on, it went smaller and I couldn't do the anal. I would have done it. I'm true to my word. But that's just what happened. But, yes, he did get excited, I will give him that.
Doc: I did interview him, and he was pretty upset about that. He said you didn't use any lube, and what not.
Tabitha Stevens: Oh, he is such a whiner. <laughs>
Doc: There are some lines that Howard hasn't crossed yet, and I was wondering if you would be interested in doing any sex on the air?
Tabitha Stevens: Oh, absolutely. I am totally 110% up for having that. 
Doc: Is there anybody on the crew, or anybody there you would like to have sex with on the air? Is there anybody you wouldn't like to, like Benjy, for example, I hear he smells.
Tabitha Stevens: <laughs> I have become such good friends with them, so it's hard for me to pick someone from the show like that. I don't want to have weird feelings, so I would rather it be a fan.
Doc: A fan, someone like me, for example.
Tabitha Stevens: Yeah, let's do it. I don't have a problem with that.
Doc: Speaking of fans, I understand that you hang around with a lot of the wack pack when you are in New York City, like Irish John, and Eric. You had sex with Irish John's brother, is that true?
Tabitha Stevens: Yes, I was dating his brother for a little while. He's a great guy. He was actually on the show with me the last time I was on with Howard. I am friends with Eric, I am friends with John. I am friends with most of the guys from the wack pack actually. I am there for any events that they have. We did the Beetlejuice thing for Sean, where we had the  benefit. I was there for that. I flew in from L.A. to be there for that benefit. Even though it totally bombed, we were all together, with the comedians, with some of the wack pack. It's like a family, and it really upsets me when people give me crap for hanging out with, let's say High Pitch Erik, or anybody else. And it's funny because Eric IS a celebrity. And people come up to him, Oh My God, It's High Pitch Erik, and they take pictures of him, and the second he turns around, “He's a fucking fat faggot.” That's not cool. These people have feelings, they are human beings. It pisses me off. People give me a lot of shit, why you hanging around them, you are too good for them, you are a celebrity. No, I just consider myself a good person, and if I am a celebrity in some peoples eyes, cool, I did my job, but you know what, I am still human, and I like to have my friends.
Doc: I agree with you there Tabitha. Speaking of High Pitch Erik, you actually had him in one of your recent films. Did you have sex with him on camera, or off camera?
Tabitha Stevens: No, I've never have sex with Erik. Again, Erik is a friend of mine. I did have him in my film, The Shaman, and he played a troll. This isn't a porn movie, it's a mainstream film. And Howard did trash the hell out of it. <laughs> It is more artsy than anything else. It's kind of like, if you look at The Doors, that Oliver Stone did--excellent movie. A lot of people you either loved it or you didn't, you either got it or you didn‘t. Same thing with my film, and I don't think Howard understood it because it was that way. It is a confusing movie, and you really have to watch it, and pay close attention to it. He said it was the worst movie he has ever seen. It hurt my feelings, but in a way, you know what, more people want to see now because they are like, why did Howard hate it?
Doc: I didn't see the movie, Tabitha, but I saw some stills. I saw a picture with hooks in your back, and you were suspended in the air. How was that for you?
Tabitha Stevens: It is something that I have been wanting to do for a long time, and I used that in my movie as an outlet, because in the Indian culture, in order to become a Shaman that is what they have to endure-do their vision quest. So, they do hang. Although I didn't do it the way they do traditionally with bone, out hanging from a tree. I did it in a studio with hooks, and it is me doing it. It wasn't bad. It was actually excellent. I loved the feeling. You have to breath a lot. It's very mental. And when you are up there, you totally disconnect from everything around you. Your body goes through a weird thing, and then all of a sudden the endorphins kick in, and you are just left, WHOA!! You are moving around, your arms and legs, you are out of control, you can't help yourself but move around. And then I came down off of it, and I'm glad I did it. And I cried uncontrollably that night, when I got home, for no reason. That's normal.
Doc: Is this something that you are going to try and do again?
Tabitha Stevens: I will do it again. For my own personal…I did if for the film because it was an outlet. I wasn't doing it because, I'm going to show everybody, I‘m going to do it on film...My family is totally cool with what I do and who I am. But I didn't want them to be freaked out by.. why is she privately going and hanging herself. That's weird. I wanted to show them that it's ok. I am just going to do it on film, and do it that way. I didn't want to disturb them too much. I think a lot of people got disturbed by it. I guess I am ready to do it again.
Doc: You had some sex with Jeff the Drunk. Is there any other wack packers you had sex with it. I understand you had sex with wack packer Reverend Bob Levy.
Tabitha Stevens: Rev Bob…It's funny, I separate wack pack from comedians. It's almost like everybody has their own little group. It's weird. Like I am not even... People say well you hang around the wack pack. Some people say I am part of the wack pack, but I'm not. I'm in my own little group, the porn people, or whatever we are. And there is the comedians, then there is the wack pack. I didn't have sex with Bob. We got together, and had a good time.
Doc: He described that you gave him some oral sex, and it was unbelievable. He had to smack you in the head to get you off…..ah…get you off his penis, I mean. Could you go into more detail on that? I understand that he is really small.
Tabitha Stevens: No, he's not. He is giant. I'm not going to lie. I have no reason to lie about anything.
Doc: He has a giant penis, a very big penis?
Tabitha Stevens: Yes, he does, very large.
Doc: Could you go into more detail? He said you used a lot of saliva. You made it very wet.
Tabitha Stevens: I spit on it. That is the way you are suppose to do it. I am a professional at it. Who knows it better than somebody who did hardcore porn for seven years? That was my forte in the business.
Doc: Oh, it was? That was your forte?
Tabitha Stevens: Yes.
Doc: Oh, ok. That's a personal favorite thing of mine, the oral.
Tabitha Stevens: My thing is that I would rather do that than anything else. If that makes any sense. I'm a giver. <laughs>  I think everybody from the show knows that. You know, the fans that I had sex with on the show. Steve, the guy in the wheelchair, who came on, and I had sex with Steve. And they had a contest, the guy who ate the dog crap who came on. I really did that. Amanda, the girl who came on, who won the lesbian date. I let her husband stay in the room while we did it. I wasn't going to do him, it wasn't about that. I didn't want to make him feel left out, she felt comfortable with him there, and he wanted him to be there…that's fine. I'm totally cool, and open about that.
Doc: There is another rumor circulating on the internet that there was another wack pack member you had sex with, and I didn't know if you wanted to talk about that or not, but…
Tabitha Stevens: Well, bring it up. I'd like to know who it was. <laughs>
Doc: People are saying you had a wonderful night with Eddie Sacks, Eddie the Produce Guy. Is there any truth to that?
Tabitha Stevens: I stayed over Eddie's house. I did stay over at Eddie's one night, We were all out. I didn't want to go back to John's house, his girlfriend was with him. I didn't feel like being there that night. So, Eddie stayed with me. I actually stayed at Eddie's house. I didn't have sex with Eddie.
Doc: So there was no sex there?
Tabitha Stevens: No, actually I think Eddie is one of the most respectful guys I know.
Doc: Did you happen to see his penis? I understand that's really small too.
Tabitha Stevens: No, I didn't see it.
Doc: hahaha I'm just kidding. You know he was in a porno recently, did you know that?
Tabitha Stevens: Yes, I did know that.
Doc: The Mexican anal gangbang.
Tabitha Stevens: Actually, I did see a picture of it though. As far as it being…I couldn't tell, because it was inserted into somebody. <laughs>
Doc: Eddie is great guy. I chat with him on the Internet now and then. He's a really nice guy.
Tabitha Stevens: You know what? He is one of the nicest guys. He's genuine. He's not full of crap, and he's, again, very respectful..
Doc: I agree. He's a super guy. What new projects? You told me you were doing something for MTV?
Tabitha Stevens: I was doing a video shoot the other day. And what happened was, my best friend and I went to do this video, and, we were asked to do it, and you know, we were there for awhile, and it took too long, sitting on the set waiting around, so I said, you know we have to go, so I left. I did it professionally, and everything, but somehow somebody got my number off of the call sheet, not the call sheet, the release forms. Some kid got my thing, and he's been calling me and leaving messages, telling me he is one of my biggest fans, and left his phone number. So, I am thinking, ok, this is really professional guys. Come on, do the right thing. So, I don't really appreciate when my phone number is given out to a bunch of fans. But I'm cool. I'm cool with my fans, that's the thing. I am on myspace, and what pisses me off the most is that, I tell everybody on my blurb, this is really me and it IS. I get questioned every time. I think people maybe are testing me to see if I will write them back, It takes a while. Is this really you? Well, guess what? The next time you ask me if this is me, I'm not going to respond back to you. Read my blurb. If you don't believe it then don't write to me. Come on guys. I mean, Dave Narravo is really Dave Narravo. I know Dave. It's Dave. When they say it, they mean it.  Some people should say this is a fan site, but this is really me when they go on there. It's hysterical. People just don't understand that.
Doc: Do you have any new movies coming out soon?
Tabitha Stevens: I'm just doing the website thing, and I'm thinking of starting my own porn company up again. I think that the fans, they have been asking me for years to do something, and I am going to start a company. Am I going to perform in it?  I'm not sure, but I do want to start my own. I'm going to do it back the way it was done when I did it years ago. Everybody loved my stuff, and I want to keep the same momentum on that. Now, it's getting pretty nasty, pretty out of control. It's almost unbelievable what stuff people are doing. I understand people like that thing, and that's cool. I never diss anybody for what they are doing, but I like what I shot, and that's what I want it to be about, the kind of stuff I shot back then.
Doc: How is your asshole?
Tabitha Stevens: Oh, it's pretty good. I haven't been bleaching it. Somebody did say something to me that was kinda funny. They said, I have a question, and I don't want to sound weird, and I'm like, Oh god, it's not like I haven't heard anything weird before. When you poop, does it come out white? <laugh> I thought that was kinda funny.
Doc: Oh my. You know I was told that the discoloration around the anus is darker if someone is a meat eater. Do you eat a lot of meat? Is that why your anus got discolored?
Tabitha Stevens: I eat meat. I eat a lot of chicken and fish. I'm very, very healthy. That explains my weight being 95 pounds. I work out. I'm 36 years old. And I look pretty good, my body, for being my age. I take care of myself. But I do like meat. I don't know if that's true, or not.
Doc: I don't know if its true, or not. We have to look at some vegetarian assholes and see. Do you have any other plastic surgeries in mind, anything coming up?
Tabitha Stevens: There is a couple of things that I want to do. Everyone thinks I am nuts, but that is ok. I do want lipo on my pinky toes, that is true. My pinky toes are a little chubby. They can stick in a needle, and suck that out. I want the back of my legs. And they aren't bad. Again, I am little, but I notice that can be a little bit tighter. I work out, but you can't spot reduce, so the only way to do that is to suck it out, and that is what I am going to have to do, and I‘m ok with that. But just botox, a little maintence stuff. Nothing major. That's about it. What else can I really do? When I get older, maybe a facelift. But I will do some things. I will never stop doing plastic surgery. But am I addicted? Yeah, I guess I am. I was on Tyra Banks and she said to me, “An addict is like somebody on drugs, and you don't want to be left on the street.” I was laughing, because obviously people who do plastic surgery have the money to do it. What? I am going to be left on the street because of plastic surgery? I hope not. I hope I know what I am doing to take care of myself.
Doc: Things could be worse. You could be afraid of dolphins.
Tabitha Stevens: Exactly, and, you know, I love dolphins. She was really cool to me, I must give her that. I was actually afraid. I heard some stories, and she was very cool. I went on twice, actually. I went on a second one where we talked  about the hooks, the second episode I did for her. That's not out yet. I am thinking probably next week, or the week after it will be out, and she was very cool. I must say, she was very nice. Some things I don't agree with that she says, but then again, you are talking about daytime TV, they got a lot of rules, about a lot of things. They won't even show the hooks on TV. They won't show the clip. They let the audience see the clip, they let me see the clip, but they won't let the people on TV see the clip, because its daytime TV. They are very strict.
Doc: Maybe we can get your movie, or parts of it on Howard TV, so the fans can see that. Have you ever talked to anybody about having that on there? Put some clips on Howard TV, so we can see what you went through, and what you did in your movie.
Tabitha Stevens: My website has a clip on it. When you click into The Shaman section. I'm not sure if it's in the members section, or not, but there is a way to see a clip of it. It's pretty crazy looking. It looks a lot worse than what it felt like. I really enjoyed it, but a lot of people get really disturbed by it. Howard got disturbed by it. He shut it off once I got on the hooks.
Doc: How did you like the “Meet the Shrink” show? Did you get anything out of that, and do you plan on meeting with her again?
Tabitha Stevens: There are a couple different ones they are going through right now. I liked going on the show.
Doc: Did you benefit from it at all? Jeff the Drunk, they talked about giving him some prescription medication, and Joey Boots, they put him in rehab. What were their recommendations for you, and did you get anything out of that appearance?
Tabitha Stevens: They feel I am disconnected from society, as far as my attitude toward things. I am open, and honest, and a little bit rough around the edges on certain parts of my life because, not that I've gone through things in my family life, but being in the business, you have to be conscious of what is going on around you, and sometimes you have to be a little tougher, because you don't want to get your feelings hurt, you don't want to go through crap. So, they feel that I need to plug my emotions back in. And that is what I need to work on. They are not happy with the plastic surgery, and they think I need to chill out on it. But you know what, it's my life and my body. People can tell me things, but I am going to do what I feel is right for me.
Doc: Is there anything you would like to say to the Howard Stern fans, or to your fans, or to Howard himself. This will be on deansplanet and there will be people listening to this.
Tabitha Stevens: I just want to say thank you for everybody's support and I appreciate my fans, Howard's fans, and Howard. He has done so much for me, and my career, and I really appreciate that, and the fans who have been there. There are some who like me, and some who don't, but for the most part they are really, really cool. They like me and I am glad. I am happy to be part of the show.
Doc: That's wonderful Tabitha. Thank you for the interview. Is there anything else you wanted to add?
Tabitha Stevens: Thank you Doc, and if you want to go on the show I'll bang you. <laughs>
Doc: WHOA!! Hahaha WOW…hmmm.
Tabitha Stevens: See, I‘m cool huh?
Doc: Yeah…Let me think about that.

Thanks again Tabitha for the great interview and autograph, and for the inspiration to keep on doing my thing. Be sure and check out Tabitha on her website  www.tabithastevens.com and on her myspace account. It's really her. Honest!!

If you'd like to chat with me and the TRUE FANS OF STERN, stop by the shrine message board sometime at www.howardshrine.net .

The Howard 100 News story featuring me & The Howard Shrine.