The Howard Stern Bulletin Board has been an awesome addition to the web and my Stern obsession. From Silent Bob himself, Kevin Smith to John Stamos, you just never know who you might run in to there from day to day. But what is even more exciting about the board for me is that the place is crawling with the "celebrities" that I am really interested in-- the shrine-worthy ones. I joined the board the first day it was open and almost 9,000 posts later I have managed to add a few new people to my tribute to Howard and the Show. People like Jason Kaplan, Will Murray, Johnny McCarthy and the beautiful Selena Valentine have all sent me their autographs as well as today’s featured artist, Scott the Engineer. I have tried for the last few years to get Scott’s autograph through the mail, to no avail. Even Joey Boots, who worked a few gigs for Scott, could only manage one of his business cards for me. Scott even resisted when I first asked him on Howard’s board. It wasn’t until I suggested that maybe he could send me a signed cd of his son’s band, Vertigo Blue, that he agreed. I then offered to write a review of the music and he seemed to really like that idea. Very cool. And it was also very cool when I got the cd in the mail, signed as promised.

It was very cool as I popped it in the cd player anxious to hear Vertigo Blue for the very first time. And I listened and listened again. Not so cool. WTF? After the first listen I decided that this band may have listened to Staind’s Break the Cycle cd once too many times. After a few more listens I decided that they didn’t listen to that cd enough. Haha I played the cd for my teenager boy and his comment was, "This band makes me mad." We both got a chuckle out of the keyboard roll at the beginning of Charlamaine and got another good laugh out of not being able to understand one word the singer sang in FALL. OMG!!! Was it us? I decided in fairness to Vertigo Blue and Scott that I would see if I could find a musician, someone with a lot more knowledge of music to have a listen. I found that person in someone who I have known for quite a long time on the web, a fellow old school sternfannetwork member, (back before that message board jumped the shark 10 times) a very skilled musician, the leader of his own band, a moderator on my own message board and an all around good dude named Slash. Thank you Slash for your help.

Here is his review:

First off, most of this album sounds like the drummer is in a different building. When you are recording this type of music, the drums and bass should be prominent if not audible. That being said, the singer is weak but could be better….he has some talent, but I don’t think that they’re playing to his strengths. It sounds like they recorded this in a jam session while he should have laid the vocals down over the mix after the fact.

Track one – In My Head
Holy Harmonics Batman!! This one is like Bush meets Nirvana. It works though. It’s surprisingly good! I can clearly hear the guitars and the bass but I would still raise the drums in the mix, its kind of hollow. Anyway, this guy apparently wants some room…..whatever……..

Track two – Drama Queen
Not horrible, kinda punkish…..Sex Pistols meets Oasis…(eeewwwww). The voice matches the music. Not my cup of tea, but well put together.

Track three- Happy Depression
Did they have a sale on Casio keyboards? What year is this? A Pink Floyd rip off drum intro leads into tough as nails guitar riffs. Not bad, but what was that keyboard intro all about???? The bassist finally gets to show his stuff in this song, he accents the singer perfectly. I’d listen to this one again.

Track four – Charlamaine
C’mon. Take some nice 80’s hair metal and throw some extra cheese in. Again, they have some decent rhythms but NO BALLS! Its possible that these guys rock, but we’d never know. The fills are nice as are the changes, however its almost as if the solo is from another song entirely, it doesn’t seem to have to do with anything here……

Track five – Sympathy
Now this is interesting. Not the same old safe songwriting, it is a little reminiscent of Green Day meets Alice in Chains. I like this track as well. His voice seems to work better in this song too.

Track six – Fall
Did I mention that this guys voice grates on my nerves sometimes? Everyone needs ballad (NOT!) but this one lacks substance and overflows with emotional drivel. There’s just nothing here……

Track seven – Best of me
It has some good guitar work, Notably the solo. But I can barely understand what the hell this guy is whining about.

Track eight – Demons Creeping
I like the title so I went into this one expecting a lot….. I got it. From the get go it’s almost as if puberty hit. They found their balls!! Good driving drum beats, sizzling guitar and pounding bass. Hey we finally found a song that this guys voice works in too!! A++++ Good job guys! (Metallica would either be proud or in court suing you LOL)

To sum up they are much better when they stop whining and get angry. They’re good at that sort of thing and should stick with it. I would listen to a few of these songs on a semi-regular basis. But when they’re bad, they suck……..

This morning I printed out Slash’s review and decided to read it while listening to the cd with my family during our Sunday drive just to see if we agreed with his comments. As soon as I put the cd in and track one began playing my younger son shouted out, " Not this shit again." After a few more songs played my wife lowered her window and said, "Give me that thing." Tough car. Honestly, In my Head, with a little work, could be a minor hit for this band but the rest of the cd is almost un listenable Does this band find its balls in this cd like Slash suggests ? I couldn’t find them on this cd. My suggestion is maybe they take a look for them in the singer’s mouth. Sorry Scott, sorry Matthew, sorry Vertigo Blue but I respectfully disagree with Slash on this one…. even when this band is GOOD, they suck….

If you would like to comment on his review you can reach slash at slash9814@yahoo.com.

You can also visit his band’s website, still under construction at http://www.geocities.com/blood_gin/Bloodgin.htm

For more information on Vertigo Blue visit their website at

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/1/vertigoblue.htm

You can also sample their music at

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/1/vertigobluemusic.htm

and you decide...