“For humanity on the planet Earth there is but one simple truth: Life is unfair. Some members of the species thrive, while others deteriorate, without adequate food or shelter. Who will help these unfortunate wretches make it through the meaningless day to day existence?” If you answered Howard Stern show celebrity and Shrine Inductee, Yaqi the Tickler, you would be correct. The last we heard from Yaqi, he was on the Howard Stern show talking about his retirement from the tickling world due to illness. Well, Yaqi is back, alive and well, and involved in a new project: helping poor unfortunate souls by...well...by buying their souls.  According to Yaqi, his new company,  Wholesale Soul Appropriation & Brokers, has risen to the challenge of helping the unfortunate wretches make it through the meaningless day to day existence by providing them with at least the temporary means to temporarily improve their situation.

Yaqi says, "We provide a lump sum of cash to these grave unfortunates so they may fill their stomachs with tacos or perhaps enough liquor to help them maintain their helpless oblivion. We provide a valuable service, but we expect something for our investment. What can these depraved creatures give us in return? Perhaps the only thing that is really, truly theirs to give, their eternal souls.“ Yup, you heard right folks. Yaqi has given up tickling hot chicks until they pee from laughter, for giving bums on the street money for their souls. Hmmm.... I thought maybe we should try and learn more about Yaqi's new excellent adventure, and I asked the True Fans of Stern from the howardshrine.net message board for their help.

Yaqi: That's kind of a sore subject for me. Before my bitch whore ex girlfriend decided to outright steal from me, she

thought, incorrectly, that she could make some fast money by starring in hardcore masturbation videos. I'm the one who filmed them and the image of her close up rotten crotch got firmly ingrained into my brain.

TerryGale: The tickling enterprise involved mostly interaction between Yaqi and women. The souls venture seems to deal mostly with men. Is this Yaqi trying for some 'balance' or experiencing some sort of sexuality shift?

Yaqi: None of the female derelicts we approached would sell their souls. I guess it is easier for them to procure
the crack and alcohol they need than the men.

TerryGale: Considering some horrid video footage about harassment and beatings of homeless persons surfacing
recently, the Wholesale Soul Appropriation and Brokers seems fairly benign, despite not being entirely 'PC.'

Yaqi: We are constantly compared to the bum fight site, but while we don't exploit these derelicts by making them
perform we do humiliate them in an extreme psychological and spiritual sense. What could be more degrading than being so low that you'll sell your soul?

Doc: Those people are really fucked then. Thank you True Fans. I had a few more questions for Yaqi at this point and he was nice enough to answer them for me.

How much tickling are you doing these days? Do you still sell videos?