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Sal The Stockbroker

From the Howard Stern Show
 
Dean S. Planet: When did you first start harassing Gary (Ba Ba Booey)?
Sal The Stockbroker: I started back in '96 when I first started as a stockbroker. I actually taped the calls for my own gratification and with no intention of ever getting on the Stern show. After 2 weeks of harassing Gary, Stuttering John would take my calls. When it got out of hand and John threatened to call the cops, I told him I had all of Gary's pranks on tape. I played the tape for John, and I thought he had hung up on me. He actually was gasping for air from laughing so hard and told me I was to immediately come down to the studio the following day.
Dean S. Planet: What has been your favorite Gary related stunt or phony phone call that you pulled off?
Sal The Stockbroker:: I really liked the latest stunt which was the "Lighting of The Teeth" I'll be the first one to say it's ridiculous but that's what makes it so great. Many have accused me of being a one trick pony, but I don't know many ponies that can stretch one trick into a 5 year stint. My favorite phony phone call to "mother tooth" was the very first one when I pretended to be a journalist from the NY Post.
Dean S. Planet: Why in the hell does Howard keep Robin around?
Sal The Stockbroker: Because when she stands next to him he looks a lot thinner. Actually she provides the focus he needs. When Stern is on the air he speaks to Robin and that makes it easier for him to get his point across rather than staring at a microphone (or Babas lips). I think the problem now is that the observer is becoming a bit too vocal and it disrupts Sterns flow.
Dean S. Planet: How much time have you spent on your efforts to goof on Fa Fa Fooey?
Sal The Stockbroker: Good question. Not as much time as you might think. I have a knack for being quick on my feet so idea's pop in my head pretty quickly and I just go with them. The only bit where I actually had to spend some quality time on was the "Lighting of The Teeth" because it required more than just myself.
Dean S. Planet: Are you going to set your sights on harassing any other Stern show regulars, like Robin?

Sal The Stockbroker: I've been thinking about it. I've had a blast breaking Gary's balls, but maybe it's time to move from big lips to big hips. Stern would actually be a fun target but it seems his "click finger" is quicker than his wit these days.

Dean S. Planet: Are you really a stockbroker?

Sal The Stockbroker: Yes, I am. Buy low, sell high.

Dean S. Planet: What gave you the inspiration to write the song "With Mouth Wide Open"?

Sal The Stockbroker: That was another case of something popping in my head without effort. One day Stern was playing a spoof called "Legs Wide Open" and he found it funny. I thought to myself..legs?? Is Jackie hung over or something? Mouth Wide Open would have been a dunk shot for him and Fred to write. I did it myself and it's one of Stern's all time favorite parody songs.

Dean S. Planet: Do you hang out with any members of the Wack Pack?
Sal The Stockbroker:No. I've had Hank, Beetle, Eric, Elephant Boy all open up for my band Facial. Great guys. Especially Hank, that poor bastard is so fucked up I really hope the best for him. If you knew the real Hank it would make you cry.
Dean S. Planet: Do you think Howard has gotten soft since his divorce?
Sal The Stockbroker: There must be something very hard edged in money, because since half of it went to his wife.....
Dean S. Planet: What is your favorite Howard Stern moment of all time?
Sal The Stockbroker: Good question. Probably Howard just sincerely being Howard. There is nothing better than hearing him rant and rave from the bottom of his heart. That beats all the bits, whack packers, strippers and HTJ jokes by far. It's a Howard I really miss.
Dean S. Planet: What's the latest on your band Facial?
Sal The Stockbroker: Facial is doing great. We've been very fortunate to have many great things come our way, one being opening up at the OZZFEST last year in NJ. That was incredible. We also opened for Methods of Mayhem last year and we will be appearing on TROMA MOVIES soundtrack for the TOXIC AVENGER PART 4. Our CD release party is Sat Jan 27th at cbgb's BeetleJuice is opening up for us and Fred Norris will be performing too. For more check us at www.facialband.com
Dean S. Planet: Do you think that Howard saying that he might retire was a hoax and that he knew he was going to sign a new deal?
Sal The Stockbroker:I do. Mainly to keep his audience interested. It's all showbiz. I could be wrong but that's how I feel about the whole thing.
Dean S. Planet: Do you think that Chuck Zito is going to kick Howard's ass?
Sal The Stockbroker: I don't know about that one. I do know that ya don't fuck with the Chuck!