"You guys are fucking assholes!"
-A Random Victim of The Creeps 

Your enjoyment of the Meet The Creeps: Volume 2 DVD will greatly depend on your own personal level of maturity; people that actually "act their age" (so to speak) will find it juvenile, offensive and vulgar. On the other hand, if you're like me and caught in a rut of perpetual adolescence, you'll find plenty of shit to laugh at. Now, if you're wondering which category you fall under, ask yourself this question--do you still find the things you did when you were seventeen (i.e. throwing firecrackers at cars and lighting things on fire) hilarious even to this day? If so, you'll have a blast watching this DVD. If not... and if you feel you've outgrown such blatant tomfoolery... you might want to steer clear of The Creeps, otherwise, you may well end up as one of their many hapless victims. Just ask those poor assholes at the candy shop. Don't ask. Trust me.

Thanks to Dean, I was already well aware of the Meet The Creeps  style. He sent me a copy of their first DVD, so I was wondering how the humor on Volume 2 was going to evolve... or regress, depending on how you look at it. How were they going to top the "upper decker" routine that was found on Volume 1? (Again, please don't ask for details. Much like Dean, I almost lost my lunch on THAT one.)

The Creeps are led by comedians Jim Florentine and Don Jamieson, and they've assembled a rather eclectic group of immature assholes to help in their mission of fucking with people. Stern show regular Reverend Bob Levy makes some appearances, as well as Club Soda Kenny and comedic genius 'Lil  Jimmy Norton, Opie & Anthony regular and probably the sickest, funniest bastard working the comedy circuit today. If the DVD has one failing, it's the fact that there wasn't enough Jim Norton. I fucking love that guy, if for no other reason than he makes me feel better about my flabby gut and bitch tits. Including the special features, the DVD is close to two hours long and has such highlights as;

-The Creeps taking over a Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet, using giant buckets to hold their food as opposed to plates. When this practice is frowned upon by the employees and the unfortunate customers, they place chairs  right at the buffet and eat directly out of the trays. This socially questionable behavior continues until the cops are en route.

-The Creeps harass various band members at OzzFest, trying to get them to pose for homoerotic photos. ("Hey man, can you bend over in front of me and act like I'm getting you up the ass? Oh, and he can stand behind me and tweak my nipples.") To their credit, a lot of the band members were good sports about it, although some balked at the idea of personalizing autographs by writing things like, "I love sucking your dick!"

-The Creeps visit a dry cleaning shop with a live gerbil that was supposedly up one of their asses, asking if they can steam clean the shit off the little critter. When they're told that animals aren't fit for dry cleaning, they protest, exclaiming, "This gerbil is a gift for a friend of ours!" I mean, what gay man wants a used gerbil anyway?

-A shirtless, flabby Jim Norton takes Club Soda Kenny (posing as a "mentally disabled" person) to a vitamin shop, a candy store and to some place where you can get passport photos taken, berating him with vulgar language the entire time. ( "Look, shut the fuck up. These people are trying to fucking shop, motherfucker.") For some reason, the women and children at these places seem to be uncomfortable with a man cussing out a seemingly retarded person. Fucking uptight pricks. Get a sense of humor.

-Don Jamieson stakes out a Pot-A-Potty at a construction site, where he stands inside the tiny cubicle and acts as a "bathroom attendant," complete with white shirt, bow tie and a wicker basket for tips. For some reason, some of the Mexican workers seem uncomfortable with a man standing behind them in the cramped space as they take a leak, trying to comb their hair. Jamieson responds to complaints by exclaiming, "Hey, I'm just trying to make a living."

-The Creeps hang around outside an adult "peep booth" shop, offering would-be patrons hand lotion and tissues to assist them in "rubbing one out." Needless to say, some customers are better sports about this than others.

-Jim Florentine dresses up some chick to look like she's pregnant, then takes her to an abortion clinic which is swarming with "right to life" protesters and cops. When Jim's supposedly pregnant girlfriend exclaims that she doesn't want to get an abortion, he threatens her with a coat hanger and vows to do the job himself--because, as he explains to her, "I told you I didn't want kids!" Not surprisingly, this gets a rather interesting reaction from one of the conservative protesters.

Well, I think you get the point. If what I described above disgusts you, allow me to congratulate you on your elevated sense of morality. But if you're a tasteless asshole like me, you might want to check out the DVD and the official Creeps site at www.meetthecreeps.com . 

Meet The Creeps: Volume 2
Starring Jim Florentine and Don Jamieson
Featuring Jim Norton, Rev. Bob Levy, Club Soda Kenny and more!

-JTL

Got something to say? E-mail me HERE
JTL's Blog
AIM: "JeremyTLoner"