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| Columns / Mark My Words |
Carmen
Electra
A Illustrated History Of Her Scary Taste
In Men |
| Tara
Patrick, AKA Carmen Electra (a name given to her by Prince
) has some of the oddest taste in men which has gone unparalleled
in the entertainment industry. Lets take a look at the history
of the guys she has banged. In doing this, I will attempt
to rationalize and understand just what is going on in her
big brown empty head. |
Prince
legendary artist, songwriter, singer, composer
What could she have seen in this 95 pound freak? Maybe
it was that she saw that he could help her early lame
female white rapper career. Wait, he wrote songs,
has his own studio and record label... I guess she
isn't as dumb as she looks! |
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B-Real
R ap star in multi-platinum selling hip hop group
Cypress Hill,
marijuana legalization advocate
I first learned of their relationship on the Howard
Stern Show. They talked candidly about how they were
in love and their sex life. All this talk made me
quite ill. B-Real seems like a cool guy and I have
enjoyed much of the music that he has created with
the genius rap group Cypress Hill, but this dude is
absolutely fugly. At this point in her life she must
have been a pothead and B is the perfect one to be
with if this was the case. He probably has good shit |
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Dennis
Rodman
former NBA basketball player, bisexual
It just kept getting worse for Carmen as she married
a freak fuglier than B-Real, The Worm. The marriage
was later annulled but not after Rodman left his mark
(and dent) far inside Carmen's vagina. I guess it's
not really true about what they say about 'once you
go black...' |
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Fred
Durst
singer/rapper
Limp Bizkit
Carmen hopped on the Limp Bizkit bandwagon in the
late 90s as Fred and his crew were rock rap's flavor
of the month. No doubt they met at the Playboy mansion
where both frequented Hef's parties. It was later
rumored that Fred's hit, "Nookie" was written
about Carmen. |
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Dave
Navarro
guitarist Jane's Addiction, Deconstruction, Red Hot
Chili Peppers, failed solo artist
You would think Carmen would learn from her mistakes.
The marriage she shared with this freak is a serious
mismatch, don't let the TV show fool you. On one hand
you have a free loving hip hop chic who loves to dance.
On the other you have a heroin addict who allegedly
sucked Marilyn Manson's dick and is basically a rock
and roll has been. Sure he is a great guitarist but
his nipple ring is scary. Their wedding invitation was
a photo of the two dead, in a morgue. Now does that
sound like something that Carmen, a beautiful angel,
a Baywatch babe and Playboy model, is into? Dave turned
Carmen to the dark side and I am truly sorry to say
that this ruse they call a marriage will end soon. |
My
conclusion: Carmen is very confused about the male figures
in her life due to early childhood trama she suffered from
her father figure. The only thing that will save her now
is if she dumps Dave and seeks out a small town entertainment
news writer who pens a wacky column for a semi-successful
and popular website. Email me
Carmen... |
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