|
|
|
|
| Columns / Mark My Words |
Top
10 Wiggers Of All Time |
  William
Upski Wimsatt
A lover of cities and civic life, Wimsatt became one of Chicago's
most infamous graffiti writers as a young teenager. After
deciding that writing his name on things wasn't the best way
to honor his community, he began publishing a broad sheet
newspaper which was posted on Chicago's bus and train lines.
At age 16, he became a columnist for the Source magazine.
A reporter and essayist, he has written for dozens of publications
including: The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Reader, Vibe, XXL,
and Utne Reader. He was named a Younger Scholar by the National
Endowment for the Humanities, and received an Individual Artist
Award from the Illinois Arts Council. |
  Michael
Rapaport
His best wigger role to date was in Spike Lee's "Bamboozled",
where he played Damon Wayans' boss. He demands an end to safe,
middle-class black comedies. He wants edge. He wants street.
He's all about keepin' it real. Rapaport's character points
out to Wayans that he, though a white man, is more in touch
with the black community than him. He even says, "I have
a black wife and two biracial kids. Brother man--I'm blacker
than you." You may argue that he is just playing a character,.
If only that were true. Rapaport once answered Howard Stern’s
question of whether or not he was a wigger by saying, “I’m
not a wigger. I’m THE wigger.” Funny how life
imitates art or vice versa... |
|
  Nick
Carter
Check out the hand gesture. What up homie? Yo yo, last time
I saw Nick he was in a Hummer on Punk'd kickin it gangsta
with wigger recruit Tommy Lee. And yo check it out dawg, he
totally pulled one over on his homie. To make an analogy,
when Carter was with the Backdoor Boys, he followed the same
formula as Donnie Walhberg of the New Kids On The Block. The
lone wigger, a rebel. He also has his little brother has following
in his footsteps and has even recorded several "rap"
songs for little kiddies. Good luck Nick, your future seems
as bright as JC Chasez!! |
  David
Faustino (Bud Bundy)
Bud's from Married With Children's wigger antics coincided
with the rise and of West Coast gansta rap, lead by Dr. Dre,
Easy E, MC Ren, Ice Cube & DJ Yella, aka NWA. He shedded
his mullet and brought the wigger mentality to the primarily
white trash audience of his show. Check out this
pic of him in a "B-boy stance". David where
you at dawg! Holla if ya hear me! |
  Justin
Timberlake
The number one wigger from the mean suburbs of Memphis, Tennessee.
He went from tugging on Mickey Mouse's tail to aiding Janet
Jackson with her wardrobe malfunction. His feud with Usher
gives him street cred, too bad Usher is from an upper class
family or it would put him over the top. His career achievements
and groundbreaking work as a wigger will fo sho be a major
inspiration to many future generations of wiggers. "Every
relationship I've been in, I've overwhelmed the girl. They
just can't handle all the love". Way to keep it real
dawg! |
|
|
  Brian
Austin Green
Wiggers everywhere credit BAG with bringing the streets to
a new zip code, hence the term "hos in different area
codes". If i weren't for this dude laying down the ground
work, fellow wigger Justin Timberlake would still be singing
country music on Star Search and saying y'all as a gas station
attendee. You can see the early influences, the haircut, the
wigger shoestring beard, the blonde girlfriend, the 5 syllable
name... |
  Stacy
Ferguson
From child star on the 80's show Kid's Incorporated to borderline
wigger in an all girl wannabe group Wild Orchid (also included
2 other hot wigger chics), to becoming the fourth member of
the hip-hop group The Black Eyed Peas. What a long strange
trip it has been for Fergie. The joining of the latest group
was the climax to a strange transformation, one which nobody
could have predicted. Many fear that we have lost her forever.
She may only be number 4 on this list but she is definitely
#1 on my hottest wigger broad of all time list. |
  MC
Serch(Michael Berrin)
With
Pete Nice, Serch made up one half of the greatest white rap
group off all time took his rapping seriously. At one point,
he even shaved the name of his group, 3RD BASS into the back
of his head. Fortunately that trend which was big in the mid
to late 80s, has since faded (no pun intended). He also took
his wiggerism seriously. This included bashing other wiggers
on several occasions including some of his lyrics. In their
hit "The Gas Face", he blames white people
for a seemingly innocent proverbs, Bad cat is bad luck,
bad guys wear black, must have been a white guy who started
all that." Then he attacked Vanilla Ice, who failed
to make this list, in the hit, "Pop Goes The Weasel".
He criticized Ice for using a sample of Bowie's Under Pressure
in "Ice Ice Baby". I guess he didn't realize that
in that very song he samples Peter Gabriel's "Sledgehammer",
hmmm. After the 3rd Bass split Serch released an excellent
solo CD called Return of the Product but anyone who bought
it "returned" it. Oh well, I enjoyed it. |
  Everlast
(Eric Shrody)
Everlast first gained notoriety as a part of the chart topping,
Irish rap group the House Of Pain but he was a wigger way
before that. Not many people know that he was a solo artist
way before HOP and even caught some MTV airplay with the single
"I Got The Knack", from his debut album entitled
Forever Everlasting. His last two albums were good but didn't
do too well in the stores. But, due to the fact that he has
been rapping this long and has collaborated with some rap
legends such as Pete Rock & CL Smooth, Ice-T and Cypress
Hill, he still gets the number two spot as the second greatest
wigger of all time. |
  Eminem
(Marshall Mathers)
Marshall learned from the mistakes of Vanilla Ice and took
notes on the career choices of the Beastie Boys and 3rd Bass.
For example, to show credibility, Vanilla Ice brought out
Flava Flav on Arsenio Hall. Well it didn't quite work out
as Hall made an ass out of him and asked him if he brought
him out to show that he was down with the blacks. Eminem came
into rap with an already established crew like the Beasties,
who had the support of Def Jam and even toured with RUN DMC.
Eminem initially had the support of Dre, Xibit, then 50 Cent,
three hip hop heavyweights. Bring D12 into the mix and he
has instant credibility with all shades of rap fans, white
trash, urban, rich girls, middle class, etc...He has even
perfected his urban speech. If you notice in the early clips
from MTV of Slim, he speaks like a total reject white boy
and his voice is high pitched. Then I notice in recent interviews
he speaks slower and lower (see I can rhyme too!!). This was
truly evident in the Tupac: Resurection special which aired
on MTV where he spoke of how Tupac influenced him. He also
adopts this strange speech pattern during his acceptance speeches
for all the meaningless awards he has amassed. This complete
masterminded hip hop career and the unlimited future potential
makes Slim Shady AKA Marshall Mathers AKA Eminem, the #1 Wigger
Of All Time. |
|
 |
