|  On
Sunday April 25, 2004, brick list inductee Billy Joel crashed
a car into a house in Bayville, NY. It was the Long Island
singer’s third car accident in 2 years. Police concluded
there was no criminality & no charges were filed. Nassau
County police state that a field sobriety test was not conducted
at the scene.
In
June 2002, the Piano Man crashed his car into a fire well
& post while trying to make a turn. A week later he
checked into rehab & his publicist claimed the 2 events
were "unrelated".
In
January 2003, Joel drove his car into a tree & had to
be pried from the vehicle after suffering head injuries.
At both the June 2002 & January 2003 accidents, no field
sobriety tests were given.
I’m
laughing because I know of so many people who adore Billy
Joel. These people are Long Islanders with bad musical taste.
They feel Joel is a hometown boy who has done well, which
is certainly true. He’s also a fucking threat behind
the wheel. Will Billy Joel have to smear some people all
over the roads before these Long Island housewives take
notice?
I’m
also angry with the Nassau County Police Department. Slackers
with badges, I call them. When you crash into another car,
you or the other driver fucked up. When you crash into a
house or a tree, you fucked up! The tree didn’t swerve.
The house didn’t dart out in front of you. You fucked
up!
But
people on Long Island worship Billy Joel. They love him.
In their eyes he can do no wrong. They buy his records.
They buy tickets to see him at the Nassau Coliseum everytime
he plays there. It’s his fame that got him out of
a sobriety test. If you or I crashed into a house, we’d
be made to walk straight lines & told to say the alphabet
backwards. I never drink alcohol & I can’t even
say the alphabet backwards. But since Mr. Long Island didn’t
hurt anyone & can pay for all the damages, he gets cut
loose.
But
this is typical of Nassau County cops. I’ve worked
in Nassau County for a long time. Most of my friends live
there. I’ve seen these cops, who when I worked at
Tower Records, tried to talk security out of having shoplifters
arrested because Nassau’s finest don’t want
to fill out paper work for what will end up as a slap on
the wrist. I’ve seen these same busy cops sitting
in their cars in empty parking lots, possible giving each
other blowjobs (Why do you think they’re called partners?).
They’ll let Billy Joel walk away without a breathalyzer
but will pull over anybody in a ritzy neighborhood on a
DWB (Driving While Black). They’ll allow speeding
drivers to cut people off without signaling so they can
ticket someone on a cell phone. They have pulled over &
punched out friends of mine for wearing Goth clothes &
makeup. Their tactics were called into question in the documentary
Capturing The Friedman's. I even know of an incident where
a bunch of Nassau County cops tried to get out of paying
a big restaurant bill by saying "You shouldn’t
be charging us anything after September 11th."
I
can laugh at Billy Joel wrecking another car, but small
men with shiny badges are no laughing matter
R
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