Just when you thought bad acting and talent less fools have not taken enough of our precious time (Tommy Lasorda for Shitfast, Martha "fertilizer" Raye for Polident, or OJ Simpson for butcher knives), and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, in comes Gene Simmons.

The CO-creator of the band KISS, tongue swaggering Simmons, and the lead marketing agent in "Rape The Fans 101", has reached a new all time low with his latest bottle of KISS Hair Tonic, The KISS KASKET. Are you kidding me? This pile of shit which can house the corpse of one cadaver and is lastered with KISS photo's of Gene, Paul, Peter, Ace, arena fan shots and the KISS logo followed by "Forever". Forever ripped off. What saddens me even more so is that some sorry ass fool just might buy this manure crate.

I just find it so insulting that Gene can actually stoop to such a low level and exploit his fans with such garbage. What's next? A Timothy McVeigh special edition KISS syringe? A KISS Columbine Gun that plays Rock N Roll All Night when you waste high school kids? Or maybe a KISS bedpan that plays the notes to "God OF Thunder" for every drop of piss that hits it. Give me a break, GENE SIMMONS,

YOU ARE THE JACKASS OF THE MONTH!!

-Sal The Stockbroker