I have always watched the VMAs with weeks of built up anticipation, as if skipping it would mean I would miss something really big. That moment never seems to come and the award show leaves me feeling empty inside. This year was no exception. Although I thought with that wacky character Jack Black as the host, that maybe this year would be different. With that said, here are some thoughts on the festivities.

• Jack Black was absolutely the worst host in recent memory. He seemed unprepared, uninterested and his humor really didn't go over well with the crowd. I think he is a funny guy but he really did a poor job.
• Where are all the hotties? Shit, even Beyonce was on the stage wearing a trench coat. About halfway through the lip synched performance, my girlfriend said, 'why does she still have clothes on?" My thoughts exactly. She eventually took it off near the end but by that time I lost interest.
• One thing I 'll never understand about the various MTV award shows is that the presenters never actually say who the nominees are. This leaves these idiots to ad-lib and opens the window for them to be unfunny. The presenters get introduced by the host, then get on stage and say, "check out the nominees". We then sit through a montage of the nominees. If you are going to invite Snoop Dog to the award show, at least make him work a little bit and besides, it would be funny to hear him pronounce some of the names while under the influence of weed & booze.
• I'm no fan of Christina Aguilera but her performance near the end of the show was a breath of fresh air. Finally we got to see some real talent in an evening littered with rapping idiots and out of key rocker losers.
• They should have made the artists sign something that said they will not come out and say: "What's up MTV", "Make some noise New York City" & "It's great to have the VMA's back in NYC!"
• Explain this to me.. How can James Blunt win Best Male Performance but lose the Best New Artist award? Leave it to MTV to defy an kind of logic... I mean he was the best out of all the males. Ugh, I give up.

Worst Performances

• Justin Timberlake (joined by talent less on the mic Timberland) sang an awful two song montage or whatever it was sounded like shit. He continued to be the running joke of the evening and he brought it on himself by proclaiming that he is "brining back sexy".
• The All-American Rejects were introduced by "the hottest producer independent films, Paris Hilton". They performed one of my fav songs of the year, 'Move Along'. After a rap onslaught for most of the show, it was going to be refreshing to see a band. Unfortunately they sucked. The lead singer's voice sounded tired. Saying that I'm disappointed is an understatement and it was a pretty bad representation for the rock genre in general. 'Panic At The Disco' sounded pretty bad too.

Funniest Moments

• James Blunt beating out Kanye West for Best Male Performance cracked me up. See what a little modesty will get you in life Kanye? He also lost to The Black Eyed Peas in the Best Hip-Hop category. If my memory serves me correctly, I can't remember him winning anything for that over-played & overrated song . Ahh, justice...
• Lil Kim came out in orange convict gear. In a way MTV does best, they managed to sensationalize being a criminal. Kim spit out shout outs and explained that 'they tried to get her' and she was so happy to be out.
• As Missy Elliot came on stage in her trademark trash bag, riding a little motorized Escalade, one of the dancers who was hovering over her, knocked her helmet off as she ran away. Missy then decided just to take it off for the remainder of the painfull to the senses performance.

Hottest Broads

• Damn, Shakira looked hot working some belly dancing. If it wasn't for Wyclef Jean's ugly mug often getting in the way of the hotness and that horrible song with an ever more annoying chorus, I might have seriously had some blood flow.
• Jessica Simpson looked so hot in her little black dress which she filled out ever so nicely. I couldn't really focus on what she was saying. I think she introduced some award that the The Pussycat Dolls won. How prestigious of an award could it have been anyway if they brought home the 'Moonman'. And speaking of the Pussycat Sluts, while on stage with my sweet Jessica, she made them look like sick stray dogs.
• Britney & Cletus made a guest appearance via closed-circuit tv because we all know how busy there are smoking weed, shopping and neglecting their child. Am I the only one who thinks that Britney looks smokin' fuckin' hot? I don't give a shit about the people who booed her (it was pretty bad when they introduced her), she was one of the top 5 hottest chicks on the show. Either that says a lot about how bad the show was or that my affection for preggos has tripled over the past year.
• Fergie & Christina did nothing for me this time around. Vanessa Minnillo looked good and Pink looked scary.

Turn The Channel Moments

• Pharrel & Ludicrous' performance.. Lil Jon did the introduction but he brought a friend on stage with him, E-40, who was unannounced. Why do rappers always bring their friends on stage with them? Whether its a performance or whether they are presenting an award, they can never be alone on that damn stage. I was happy to see Snoop's entourage getting stopped at the top of the stairway on the way to his entrance to the stage.?
• A performance by "the King of the South" T.I. Zzzzzz...
• Busta Rhymes doing a 5 year old song at the beginning of Hype Williams' Video Vanguard Award. I turned back thinking it was over but Hype was just receiving his award. He first thanked God, for what I'm not sure. Maybe he was thanking him for giving him the creative ability to direct Tupac Shakur to pour a 40 ounce to the ground in the California Love video. Now that truly is groundbreaking work.

After the Hype, I was lucky enough to turn back to MTV to see Sarah Silverman make a fool of herself. How does she have a career? Oh yeah, her boyfriend is Jimmy Kimmell... BTW, she was able to duplicate this (being unfunny) feat a couple more times throughout the night including a stage appearance where she left a major stink bomb. The worst part of it all is that she keeps that stupid look on her face, as if she is saying, "Aren't I so clever and witty?"

The end was approaching , the dial had already hit 11PM and I was getting a little sleepy. I thought to myself, hold off on that nap because we only have a half hour to go. Then the unspeakable happened... Al Gore came out to speak of some global warming bullshit. This almost drove me to the first stage on REM sleep. Thankfully his glacier talk ended quicker than anticipated, I had a Red Bull and I was then ready for the finale.

It was well worth the wait to see the BEST PERFORMANCE of the evening which came from The Killers. Lead singer Brandon Flowers opened up playing piano and singing something from their new album. That ended and it was time for ROCK N ROLL!! When I heard the first chords of "When You Were Young", it reminded me of the first time I heard "Smile Like You Mean It". As the song ended, the crowd erupted louder than it had all night. Did I mention that they were introduced by Axel Rose who came out and screamed some obscenities 'Welcome To The Jungle" style? Of course I didn't because nobody cares about that washed up freak.

I couldn't actually tell you who won what, I mean these are the VMAs, the awards are pretty much meaningless. However I can tell you that the same 5 videos were up for each award and 'Panic! At The Disco' won a lot of them and I'm not sure why.

For a list of winners, go here.