| There
are few certainties in life, but one thing is for sure… Beetlejuice
is a star. Beetle Uncensored is one of the funniest and craziest
things I have ever seen. The
video chronicles the daily lives of Big Pappa, Drunken Jamie,
some  Middle
Eastern dude (who I later learned goes by the name Puppet),
and the King Of All Wack Packers, Beetlejuice. His manager
Sean is never seen because he is the one who is holding
the camera. It sounds like he had just as much fun taping
this stuff as I did watching because throughout the entire
video you can hear him laughing and wheezing as he tries
to steady the camera. The opening features a cool jam by
The
Lyrical Lizard called "The Beetle Bunch" which
is a parody of the Brady Bunch theme and introduces us the
previously mentioned cast of characters.
It
seems like one of the ongoing themes in the video is to
take Drunken Jamie somewhere and wait for him to make an
ass out of himself or wait until he passes out, then dump
shit on him or piss in his  mouth.
In some of the scenes I actually thought that he was dead.
Apparently nobody likes this guy and he really gets it from
a hooker who throws a bottle at him and makes this fool
bleed. I almost felt bad for the guy until I saw him do
the same stupid shit over and over again. (Note to self:
never fall asleep after a drinking binge if Beetlejuice
is in the room.)
One
bad part about the video is that we get to see everyone's
penis at least once. I do want to thank the cast though
because after seeing them, I feel like I could be a porn
star. There needs to be more boobies and less penis in the
sequel. There is also a special guest appearance by another
Wack Packer who I'm sure enjoyed all of the penis.
(I'll
let this be a surprise. Hint: He hates fish).
Overall
though, we get to see Beet at his best. We see him  eating
ass, punching Drunken Jamie in his Super Beetle suit, hanging
around naked in a dunk tank, and getting tit whipped by
some broad with huge fun bags. Beet also does a bunch of
hilarious practical jokes such as answering the door nude
except for lunchmeat and cheese pasted on his body, nude
gas pumping while giving directions and "The Longest
Chinese Food Order".
Best
Parts:
- Big
Pappa's Birthday gift…
-
Beet goes wig shopping…
- Drunken
Jamie pours a beer on Wack Packer…
- Beet's
various scuffles with bouncers…
- The
convenience store…
- Drunken
Jamie gets busted for public urination...
- Beet
pretending to be a vampire
I
have watched the video about 4 times and each time it is
as funny as the first. Beet may get ripped on because he
doesn't know how to spell red or accurately tell you how
many cases of beer he can drink, but you really get the
sense that he is a genuinely funny and good guy. The best
scene of all is from the set of Scary Movie 2 where he explains
to Drunken Jamie that he really doesn't die in his scene,
it's only pretend. Jamie acts like he is crying and Beet
tries to comfort him and let him know that it isn't real.
Beetle
Uncensored is funnier than MTV's Jackass, Anna Nicole or
anything Tom Green has ever done. I am highly anticipating
the second installment (not sure if this is in the works
or not) and I would highly recommend it. |
