The Grammys
I'll hand it to them, this year's Grammys wasn't so bad. I made it more interesting than usual by conducting my own home experiment. The question was, how long can watch without having to turn it due to boredom or disgust? The experiment lasted until Brad Paisley, some country dude sang an unbearable song about how he wants to be a 'tick' or check his woman for 'ticks'. I just couldn't deal with it. I'm not down with country music but I was able to sit through Carrie Underwear's performance because she is hot. And maybe if it was someone who could actually sing like Tim McGraw, well then I might have stuck around for a bit. But this Paisley guy, who by the way looks as if he is a real life 'Brokeback Mountain' guy, doesn't even have a good voice.

Here were some other lowlights:

• Alicia Keys sounded good, unlike the Super Bowl, she decided to actually sing this time instead of lip-synch.
• The Time performed with Rihanna. Yeah The Time, the 80s group. They sang 'Jungle Love'. Still don't remember? Hmm. They were in Purple Rain. Doesn't ring a bell? The movie with Prince. Well go rent it then...
• The Beatles montage that featured those Cirque du Soleil freaks and a song from the movie 'Across the Universe' was cool. The Fab Four haven't recorded an album in 30 + years and they are still winning awards.
• The Foo Fighters, a band that is stuck in 1995, sucked. All their songs sound the same.
• Awww, Kayne West cried while trying to sing some song, I cried listening to him sing. The best thing he did all evening was after he undeservingly won an award and was rambling on about his mom, the powers that be at the Grammys started playing the hurry-up music. West basically told them to shut the music off and that they were disrespecting him. They let him finish.
• Fergie and her buttaface sounded good in her performace. She sang while John Legend played the piano.
• Jerry Lee Lewis, yes the 75 year old legend, performed in yes, another montage, this time with other legends such as John Fogerty & Little Richard.
• Beyonce looked drop dead hot as she performed with Tina Turner, who looked incredible for her age. I'd probably hit it. (No pun intended Ike).
• I didn't get to see her performance but Amy Winehouse brought home a bunch of awards. She was there via satelitte. I bet she can't wait to see if she can smoke crack out of the actual award when she physically receives it.
• The best thing about the Grammys is that all of these big names in all genres are in the audience but when it comes to the Album of the year, they all lose to people like Herbie Handcock or Steeley Dan. Everyone was secretly in shock when Handcock's name was called but they gave him a standing ovation anyway.

The Millionare Matchmaker Tuesdays 9/10c, Bravo
There are millionares in this country who cannot get chicks? How pathetic do you have to be to have that much money and have to go to a matchmaker? I can see posting your profile on match.com or something, but actually paying that useless idiot and her band of flunkees to help you find a woman?

If I had a million (I'm close), I'd be banging Paris, then popping pills with Britney the next.. Then, instead of going to a matchmaker, I'd head to the Victoria Secret fashion show for my match. That's just how I'd roll fool.

Ask Men's 2008 'Most Desirable Woman' Katherine Heigl
I usually don't give a shit what other people think about what chicks they are digging, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, this list compiled by amateurs is a joke and I think everyone agrees.

Katherine Heigl is their number one chick? HAHA. I mean she is OK, I wouldn't kick her out of bed but she is far from being the top chick. Would she even make the top 20 in any meat eating, red blooded dude's list? Have you seen any paparazzi pics of her recently? This is a chick who is never seen without a cancer stick stuck between her lips and when she isn't on the red carpet, she always looks like she just rolled out of bed. Blech.. This crap is called Ask Men but what men did they ask?

Here she is, the MOST DESIRABLE FEMALE!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA

Now there was a time when Heigl was right up there with the rising hottie elite. It was around the time when she did that Stuff mag photoshoot... That was hot stuff. Then a couple years later she decided that she needed to go on the Jennifer Connelly Hollywood diet and lose a lot of weight when there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. And just like Connelly, she lost tit mass. An IHOP franchise now resides under her blouse.

And what dude is watching that awful Gray's Anatomy show? I have no desire to watch 2 seconds of that night time version of General Hospital. If Heigl was the #1 chick, that would be reason enough to tune in to see what it's all about. Baywatch was the worst show in history but hot chicks forced me to tune in often.

Did the movie Knocked Up have anything to do with her ranking? Did guys feel that if that fat, hairy loser could get her,they had a chance as well? Did that flick make her seem more approachable?

Did I mention that below her in the top ten are 4 Victoria Secret models, Biel, Alba & Scarlett... If you want to see a real list, checkout the DeansPlanet home page and my 25 current broads list.